


High School Love Story

by VeryDryWit



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Angst, Awkwardness, Bullying, Coming Out, Coming of Age, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Japanese Poetry, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Some Humor, Sweet, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 15:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20909618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryDryWit/pseuds/VeryDryWit
Summary: Yuri Katsuki finally is accepted to a prestigious private high school to pursue his dream girl, Yuko. But a new exchange student, Nikiforov Victor, interrupts his plans...





	1. April Blooms

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of a story I wrote. When I deleted several chapters, AO3 deleted the whole story. The last chapters have been re-edited to make it more lighthearted to harmonize with the first part of the story. Thank you to the readers who gave me helpful feedback and are helping me become a better writer.

**Spring**

Katsuki Yuri approaches the sloping grand entrance to Matsuno Private Academy. The site is imposing with multiple modern buildings and several huge sports fields. A long line of expensive cars are inching towards the entrance. Over to one side, a large cherry tree is blooming, and Yuri swallows nervously as he recognizes the cute girl standing beneath it. Ohashi Yuko. Her hair is shoulder length with a blue bow on top, and is flowing in the breeze. She’s wearing the Matsuno school uniform: a dark blue blazer with the school crest, plaid skirt, and a tie. Yuri is wearing the same thing except with dark blue pants instead of the skirt. This is it. The beginning of his dream coming true. For three years, Yuri has spent all his free time studying, going to cram school and participating in clubs in order to impress the scholarship committee of this exclusive high school. Yuko waves to him in recognition and exclaims, impressed,

“Ready to give the entrance ceremony speech? I can’t believe your exam scores were higher than mine!”

“Uh... yeah,” replies Yuri. He gulps. He looks over his speech, but the characters are unreadable because he’s trembling. In his fantasies, his rousing words impress Yuko, he asks her out, and she confesses her love. Then they spend high school dating, and get married in college. After college, they have their first child. They should have a girl, then a boy, he decides.

“Yuri. Yuri!” Yuko calls him, waving her hand in front of his face. Yuri blinks, as Yuko drags him into the auditorium with the other students.

Yuri waits on stage. He fumbles with the microphone, squints at his prepared speech, then removes his glasses. Better. He can read his speech, but the audience is a blur. He can hear some titters from the students, as his hands shake. His legs are wobbly, and he feels like he needs to pee. The school principal waves to him to begin. Yuri speaks shakily into the microphone,

“Ladies and... gentlemen, classmates, students... uh, teachers, teachers’ aides, parents and associated staff…” he squeaks, then a high-pitched feedback noise makes him stop. Yuri frowns. That’s not what’s written on his paper – his mouth is just spewing words. Suddenly, an important looking lady in a suit interrupts him,

“We have an unusual announcement. Every year the top ranking first-year student makes the introductory speech, and a last-minute addition to our school has the best score. So everyone, let’s welcome our newest student, Nikiforovu Victoru!”

Yuri stumbles aside, as a taller boy with long blonde hair takes the stage. His school uniform is perfectly fitted, unlike Yuri’s oversized blazer. Several girls in the audience squeal in delight. The boy begins,

“Spring is the season of new beginnings, and as we look forward to this first high school season, we will bring forth the best fruit of our labor, just like the cherry trees…”

Yuri watches dumbfounded, as the foreign boy easily makes the speech, then is commended and congratulated. The boy seems untouched by the praise, he looks politely bored. Yuko comes over and tells Yuri,

“Don’t sweat it. No one cares about that speech anyway.”

Yuri and Yuko head over to class 1– A, and the teacher nominates the top boy and the top girl as class president and vice president: Nikiforovu and Yuko. Yuri watches in stunned disbelief. His dream is turning into a nightmare. How many times had he imagined Yuko and him collecting assignments and doing class paperwork after school? He grabs his bag, and heads outside to lunch, when he gets shoved. A boy with perfectly slicked hair says condescendingly,

“You’re a scholarship kid, aren’t you? Beggars don’t belong here. My dog has more money than you.”

Yuri pulls back in fear, but says nothing. He imagines a fancy poodle with a diamond collar driving a red racecar. The image is kind of funny. Yuri clamps down on his smile, not wanting to goad the other boy. He looks down and shrinks his body, hoping to keep out of trouble. The other boy still seems annoyed, and smacks Yuri’s bento box onto the ground. Nikiforov comes over. The slicked hair boy turns towards Nikiforov and says in a friendly tone,

“I’m Hashimoto Aoru. Doesn’t your father own Cyril Corporation?”

“Yes.”

“My father owns a chain of department stores.”

“Maybe your store sells manners, go buy some.”

Nikiforov picks up Yuri’s lunchbox, hands it to him and walks away. Hashimoto puts up his fists, then drops them, and gives Yuri an angry stare.

At lunchtime, Yuri sits down and eats his smashed food. Nikiforov is standing in a corner, surrounded by girls. Yuko joins Yuri, and she exclaims,

“This place is amazing. Did you see the silver hair on the new boy? So exotic! Several girls in our class have already asked him out.”

At the end of the day, Yuri is assigned to clean the classroom with a few others. He mops the floor slowly, his head hanging in disappointment. Yuko comes up to him, and consoles him with,

“Did you check out clubs?”

“Yep. They actually have a classical literature club, do you think anyone will sign up for it?” Yuri asks hopefully. Yuko shrugs, the replies,

“Probably not… but I’ll join you. You can ramble on about _tanka_, or other types of Japanese poetry, while I do homework.”

They fill out the requisite forms, and are given the key.

The clubroom is small and dusty, with some old volumes on the shelves, a table and a faded couch. Yuko gets to work cleaning, while Yuri peruses the books, organizing them by subject. Yuri’s mood is improving, buoyed by the idea of reading love poetry with Yuko. He pulls out a volume of _One Hundred Leaves_, deciding to read one right away.

“Number 14, Minamoto…” he starts, when the door slides open. The blond boy from this morning, with his long silver hair and perfect uniform, walks into the room. Yuko looks at him in disbelief, and exclaims,

“Nikiforov-san, you’re interested in literature?”

The blond boy shrugs, and looks around. He replies,

“I’m interested in escaping girls. Ohashi-san, is anyone else in this club?”

“Nope. And I’m just here to study – I want to go to medical school.”

Yuri is still staring wide-eyed, so Nikiforov explains to him,

“All day, girls have been confessing to me. I was interrupted in the library… and a girl even followed me into the boys’ locker room.”

Yuko nods in understanding, saying,

“You’re safe here. Yuri-kun likes to read, and you can do your homework here… but don’t you have a nice home to escape to?”

“An elegant home. Not a nice one,” answers Nikiforov, as he sits at the table next to Yuko. Unsure of what to do, Yuri continues reading,

“Number 14, Minamoto no Toru:

_Surrounded by this_

_Intricate print,_

_Becoming_

_Dyed and tangled,_

_Trapped in secret love.”_

Yuri stares at the book, wishing it would swallow him up. Is it obvious he just confessed his feelings to Yuko? Yuko, however, seems oblivious. She smiles at Nikiforov, saying,

“What do you think? Yuri-kun loves romantic poetry… I prefer to watch clips of J-pop idols.”

Nikiforov thinks for a moment, then replies,

“I like the imagery. The author writes about fabric strands, but I imagine his mistress’ long hair tangled on the mattress…”

Yuko blinks in surprise, while Yuri nods several times.

“The English translation is also clever, playing on the word died versus dyed…” begins Yuri, then clams up. He can vividly see the other boy’s long silver hair spread out on a futon… Yuri hides his head in his arms, feeling his face burn. Why did he think that? Maybe the image came because the boy’s hair is so unusual. Yuri is abashed to face the other boy, so he removes his glasses. Now, he’s just chatting with a blur. Yuko is annoyed at the turn of conversation, so she redirects,

“How come you speak Japanese so well, aren’t you Russian or something?”

Nikiforov replies,

“Yes, but my… stepmother is Japanese, so I’ve been living in Japan for many years. In Tokyo. But now my father has… business in this part of Japan.”

The next day, after class, Nikiforov whispers to Yuri,

“Can you meet me in the restroom?”

Yuri gives him a puzzled look, but agrees,

“Uh... okay.”

Once inside the boys restroom, Victor explains,

“Last time, I waited here almost an hour for those groupie girls to leave. Keep watch outside, then text me when it’s safe to leave.”

Yuri nods, and waits outside. A dozen girls are chatting amongst themselves, taking turns glancing at the entrance to the boys’ restroom. Yuko sees Yuri, and motions for him to come with her. Yuri shakes his head and says,

“Sorry, I need to wait here.”

“But why?” asks Yuko. Yuri looks over at the other girls, unsure of what to say.

“Nikiforov-san…” begins Yuri.

“...has other plans,” claims Yuko loudly, still not understanding and grabbing Yuri’s arm. Yuri pulls back and cries,

“He’s in the bathroom! I can’t leave him – he has…” Yuri glances at the other girls, “diarrhea!”

The group of girls all gasp in horror, and quickly scurry away. Yuko looks at Yuri with concern, as Yuri flushes red in embarrassment. Yuko looks at Yuri, undecided, then responds,

“Oh. Go get the school nurse. Later.”

Yuri waits, then texts Nikiforov. They run quickly to the clubroom, then sit down panting, and do homework. Yuko doesn’t show up, but Nikiforov doesn’t mention it.

The next day, they repeat the same scenario, with Nikiforov in the bathroom, and Yuri waiting outside. Yuko frowns at Yuri, but says nothing. After a few more days, Nikiforov remarks,

“The girls at school are leaving me alone, maybe they’re getting used to me.”

Yuri grimaces, and turns pale. Nikiforov looks at him quizzically. Yuri reluctantly admits,

“That’s… That’s my fault. I was trying to lie... I told some girls you’re suffering from… an intestinal problem…”

“What intestinal problem?” repeats Victor, confused.

“You know… when you have to go, urgently,” confesses Yuri, horribly uncomfortable. Victor absorbs this new information, and grimaces.

“Ew! I’ll hide in the boys’ locker room from now on…”

For the next week, the three of them meet in the clubroom and do their school work. Yuri is disappointed by the lack of focus on literature, it’s more of a homework club. Yuri decides to take matter in his own hands, and says,

“Since it’s spring, I’ll read a springtime poem.”

He opens a volume and reads aloud,

“_So many things_

_they call into my thoughts –_

_cherry blossoms!_

Basho (1644 –1694)”

“What do cherry blossoms make you think of?” quizzes Yuri hopefully.

“Bubblegum,” replies Yuko distractedly, still working on a math problem. Nikiforov stays silent, and Yuri is crestfallen, till the other boy says,

“Cherry blossoms are beautiful, but they’re sad. They remind me of tree nymphs, weeping pink tears.”

Yuri stares at the other boy, astonished. It reminds him of the speech on the first day. Yuri exclaims,

“Wow! You have a way with words.”

“And you have a way with snacks. What’s all this?” asks Nikiforov, pointing to the pile of food next to Yuri.

“Pocky sticks, _kompeito, niboshi_ – dried sardines...”

Yuko changes the subject and asks Nikiforov,

“How are you coming here undetected? This club should be mobbed by girls…”

“I hide,” curtly replies Nikiforov, giving Yuri a pointed look. Yuri looks down, sheepish.

The days go by. The three of them continue to do homework in the clubroom every day. They get along well. One day, Nikiforov and Yuri are arguing a point in mathematics when Yuko says,

“Nikiforov-san, you need to show all the steps…”

Yuri continues,

“Nikiforov-san, your way is clever, but if the teacher doesn’t get it…”

Nikiforov says,

“Fine. I’ll do it your way if... you both call me Victor. ‘_Nikiforov-san_’ makes me feel like my father.”

Yuri nods, and Yuko is especially pleased. She’s enjoying having a monopoly on the handsome Russian, and it’s been difficult keeping the lit club secret from other girls.

The following week, Yuri quietly asks Yuko as they ride the train home,

“Yuko-chan, is there a boy… you like?”

Yuko gives a shy smile.

“I like our Russian classmate. But so do all the girls… Every afternoon, a girl confesses to him, pretty soon every girl at school will have done it!” she says in awe. “Hey, did you know he joined the swim team? I won’t be able to resist watching that… ” admits Yuko with a giggle. “It’s difficult not to like a boy in a swimsuit…” she giggles again. Yuri listens with dismay.

“I didn’t know you liked… uh, I’m joining the swim club too!” exclaims Yuri, immediately regretting the outburst. Yuko looks surprised, but encourages him,

“_Gambatte_! That’s right, you were a good swimmer in elementary school.”

She smiles at him, and Yuri suddenly hopes he can compete against Victor.

The next day in the school restroom, Yuri reads over the application for the swim club. Then he examines his body in the mirror. A bit chubby, it’s not so noticeable in his school uniform, but in a tight piece of spandex… Yuri gulps. Yuri closes his eyes, stamps the form with his signature and turns in the paper before he can change his mind. As he walks away from the faculty offices, his heart begins to race, and he panics. He quickly returns to the offices, and tells the gym teacher,

“Actually, the swim club will conflict with my… cram school… maybe I should take my application back…”

The big man cackles at him.

“Practice starts right after school. You don’t quit, till I tell ya you can quit.”

After school, Yuri heads to the locker room next to the pool. In a bathroom stall, he changes into a formfitting swimsuit that goes from his waist to his knees. His midsection is bulging over the suit, so he puts on a sweatshirt to hide his body. He shuffles out to the pool area, hoping he can still do the various swim strokes. Yuri examines Victor, and his heart sinks. Victor looks like a top-notch swimmer: his body is lean and muscled, and his goggles and racing trunks with diagonal stripes look expensive. Yuri takes his top off reluctantly, and crosses his arms across his chest defensively. Victor glances at him, then looks away.

Things change when Yuri hits the water. He’d forgotten the pleasure of gliding through liquid, his body feels light, not heavy like on land. Soon, they are racing, and Yuri forgets his insecurities, driven to win. Afterwards, he hangs onto the edge of the pool, panting and heaving. Darn! He’s arrived dead last. The coach comes over and says gruffly,

“Katsuki! Your form isn’t bad. You’re parting the water with your arms instead of splashing through it. You’re out of shape though, work out more!”

Yuri nods. Back in the locker room, Yuri asks Victor,

“Why did you suddenly join the swim club?”

“Oh.” Victor removes his swim cap, and lets his hair down. “I raced competitively for years. But after a while winning didn’t mean anything. So I quit. After a while, I guess... I missed the boring simplicity of it.”

“Whoa. Cool. When I was little, I wanted gills so I could live underwater,” exclaims Yuri excitedly. Victor stares at him for a moment, then giggles. He says,

“You’re funny.” Then he shakes himself. “My father has arranged for the pool to be opened every morning before school, so I can train. You could swim too.”

Yuri nods. He needs to lose weight quickly if Yuko is going to be watching him…

The next morning, Yuri goes to the pool to swim laps. He doesn’t speak to Victor, who seems fine with that. Afterwards, Yuri dresses in a bathroom stall, but struggles with the red and blue necktie that goes with the school uniform. He leaves the stall, and stands in front of a mirror, tying it in a bulging lopsided knot. Victor comes over, and pushes Yuri’s hand away. He reties it perfectly, and tucks it into Yuri’s blazer. Yuri stands there, embarrassed, and uncomfortable at how close the other boy is... Yuri protests,

“My mom does it at home…”

“My mother is long gone. I do things myself,” Victor replies abruptly, and walks away.

For the next few weeks, Yuri works out in the morning, swimming laps. And every morning, Yuri needs help with his necktie. Why is it so difficult to tie a knot? At home, he can manage a tolerable knot, but once Victor is nearby, the whole thing turns into a mess. Yuri tugs at the annoying piece of cloth with frustration. Victor rolls his eyes, and comes over to do it. As Victor stands close, there’s a faint smell of citrus and cypress. Must be his shampoo, it’s stronger after a shower. Yuri glances up at the other boy. Victor is really attractive. Yuri can see why the girls like him. He’s strong, but pretty, exotic and noble, yet approachable. Plus... there’s something else, Yuri can’t find the word for it. Like gravity, people are pulled towards him. Victor doesn’t just attract girls, the boys flock to him too – though Victor never seems interested in talking to them. Yuri realizes he’s been gawking at the other boy. He feels his cheeks burn as the other boy smooths his tie, then fixes his collar.

“I’m practicing you know!” exclaims Yuri. Victor frowns, and replies,

“I know. I see you in the pool.”

“I mean I’m practicing tying my own necktie. Can I do something for you in return?”

Victor shrugs.

“Don’t think so. Why is your blazer so big?” asks Victor, poking at the giant shoulders. Yuri shows him the hemmed cuffs of his sleeves.

“My mom is hoping it will last at least two years. She thinks I’ll have a growth spurt.”

Victor finds he likes the company of the awkward Katsuki. The boy seems uninterested in his rich and powerful family, which makes a nice change. Yuri seldom says anything in the morning, he never seems completely awake until second period. Also, his fascination with old poetry is quaint and unusual. Yuko is a different matter. At first, Victor found her presence tolerable, but now he’s seeing signs she’s developing a crush. She often watches the swim practices after school. It’s annoying to have another girl gawking at him, but he’s also concerned Yuri will get upset. Yuri follows her around like a puppy, he obviously likes her. After practice one day, he waits for Yuri to leave, then approaches Yuko.

“You watch us swim a lot. Why?” he asks. Yuko turns a bit pink, and responds,

“Oh… I guess the guys look good. In basketball, they wear those horrible shorts, and the boys are too tall!”

“Is that all?” asks Victor laconically. Yuko hesitates, then offers,

“Want to hang around town sometime? I know some cool shops.”

“You’re asking me on a date? Why?” says Victor in a monotone. Yuko looks uncertain, then answers,

“You’re good-looking... and smart.”

“That’s it? So are a lot of guys,” Victor counters in a disgusted tone. Victor walks away, while Yuko stands there stunned. Crap. He isn’t usually so rude, but she rubs him the wrong way.

The next morning, Victor arrives early to class. Yuri is unusually awake, and greets him with a big smile.

“Morning! Look what I have for our club! The lit teacher gave me some books she no longer needs. Maybe we could read to each other?”

“Yuri… Do you like anything about me?” asks Victor. Yuri looks at him puzzled, then responds,

“I dunno... At first, it’s hard to get over how good-looking you are. But when I take off my glasses, you’re just another blurry person. And I like you better than other blurry people. You actually listen to me, and you’re interested in books and stuff. Oh and the way you swim… you glide through the water, you must’ve been a tuna in a past life. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering,” replies Victor with a half smile. Only Yuri would’ve answered his question that way.

Yuko arrives little bit later, and acts like nothing had happened. Victor is relieved – Yuri would be upset if he found out Yuko had asked him out. Victor decides to make an effort for Yuri. It’s raining, so Victor quickly searches for a poem with the topic of spring rain.

“Since we need our umbrellas today, I found something appropriate,” says Victor. Yuri smiles in anticipation, and closes his eyes. Victor continues, “I like this part,

_In this world _

_we walk on the roof of hell, _

_gazing at flowers. _

_Naked _

_on a naked horse _

_in pouring rain! _

_I’m going out, _

_flies, so relax, _

_make love. _

_O owl! _

_make some other face. _

_This is spring rain.” _

Victor feels a slight chill down his back, and he stops reading. The sound of the rain becomes heavier on the window. Somehow the words on the page seemed different when he spoke them aloud, more visceral, almost seductive. Yuri looks awestruck, his cheeks pink, an odd glow about him. Victor watches Yuri’s face, fascinated. Then Yuko sighs, and Victor turns and sees her sappy, lovesick look. Victor frowns, trying to understand what just happened.

“That was by Kobayashi Issa…” adds Victor, trying to regroup. Not knowing what to do next, Victor grabs a blank notebook, and jots down some thoughts.

The next day in the clubroom, there’s a knock at the door. Yuko looks up in surprise, then goes to answer, sliding open the door. A tall, very pretty, and stylishly dressed girl smiles and says,

“Hello everyone!”

Victor introduces,

“Rei Megumi, my girlfriend. I’m hoping you’ll tell all the girls about her.”

Yuko seems nonplussed, but politely introduces herself,

“Ohashi Yuko, and this is Katsuki Yuri. Pleased to meet you. You look familiar… Have we met before?”

Megumi smiles her dazzlingly perfect teeth, and replies,

“If you followed fashion, you’d recognize me. I’m a model. Last month, I was on the cover of _Teen Today_.”

Yuko acknowledges the dig at her simple hairstyle and makeup. She grabs her things, and says,

“I’ll be leaving first, I’m meeting some friends at a café.”

Yuri watches her go with alarm, not sure what to do. The model girl watches Yuri’s reaction with amusement.

“You like her. Are you two dating?” she probes with a calculated look. Yuri shakes his head, and answers ruefully,

“She sees me as just a friend.”

“Oh, how sad,” she coos. “You like big boobs?” she asks, miming Yuko’s large chest over her smaller one.

“What! No, that’s not it… I’ve liked her since elementary school!” Yuri exclaims, shocked by the mention of breasts. Actually, it’s a little disturbing to see his sweet Yuko become rather big chested.

“Vicchan, I have an idea… You owe me a favor, don’t you?” Megumi purrs to Victor. Victor looks at her warily and answers,

“I guess.”

“Help this darling boy get the girl of his dreams. In return, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Oh. Mmm, we’ll see...” hedges Victor, looking uncomfortable. Megumi walks over next to Victor, gives him a peck on the cheek, and says cutely,

“Your father’s birthday party is coming up. Wear a black suit, it will make my dress standout.”

Then Megumi flashes a smile at Yuri, and tells him,

“Vicchan’s right, you’re cute. Listen to Victor, he gets tons of girls.”

Megumi leaves, with a flirty wave. Victor seems annoyed. He grabs his notebook, and scribbles in it. Yuri tries to peek at the writing, but other boy hides the page with his arm.

Yuri sits there in awkward silence. Then he apologizes,

“Nikiforov-san, you don’t have to… teach me anything. Rei-san was just trying to be nice…”

Victor shrugs, then adds,

“I told you, call me Victor. It’s fine. Girls started confessing to in middle school, and I’ve heard every line, every version. ‘_You’re handsome, you’re rich, you’re smart...’_ I get an annoyed every time. At first, I turned them down. But it caused problems amongst the girls. So I dated some, trying to find one I liked.”

“Until you found Rei-san?”

“Something like that. Anyway, help me study my kanji, I’ll help you with girls.”

“I only need help with Yuko-chan.”

“Okay,” replies Victor, nonplussed. Yuri looks at him expectantly. Victor asks, “Uh... have you told her you like her?”

Yuri looks appalled and protests,

“We’re friends! And she doesn’t see me… that way…”

“Well… you could ask her on a date...?”

Yuri shakes his head and insists,

“First, she needs to think I’m... cool.” Yuri looks through the old tomes on the shelf, and looks through the _Kanyoshu_. “Volumes 11-15 have tanka poems about love…”

Victor shakes his head.

“Yuri, tanka aren’t cool…”

Yuri jerks his head up at the use of his personal name.

“Only close friends and family call me that…” exclaims Yuri. Victor tilts his head.

“Then we better become friends then. Okay… Yuri?”

Victor gives him a smile. Yuri pauses, then gives a shy smile.

“Okay. Victor.”


	2. May Showers

For the next few weeks, Victor and Yuri are the only ones in the literature clubroom. Yuko spends her time with other girls at lunch and after school. Victor notices with relief that she no longer watches the swim practices. Victor is finishing his English homework, when Yuri shares,

“I’ve been watching a lot of shojo anime, and the romantic lead often does _mane kyun_ stuff, like _ago kui_, or _kabe don_.”

“Mane kyun?”

“Heart pounding stuff, like lifting the chin, or pounding the wall.”

Victor looks at him dubiously.

“You’re trying to be cool by watching girly animation?”

“Trying to be like the cool guy in girly animation.”

Yuri searches on his phone for video clips. They watch a few of them together on the couch. Boys often slam the wall behind girls, then close in for a near kiss.

“I don’t get why these guys fall for the cutesy girls,” grumbles Victor. Yuri explains,

“They’re sweet, good hearted – like Yuko-chan. If our life was an anime, you’d fall in love with her.” Yuri pales, then turns to Victor and asks, “Um, do you... like her?”

“Not really,” admits Victor reluctantly. Yuri frowns for a moment, then smiles. He points to the screen.

“Have you done anything like that?” questions Yuri, burning with curiosity. Victor shakes his head.

“I’ve kissed and stuff…” replies Victor. Yuri looks at him expectantly. “It was... okay?” reveals Victor. Yuri looks disappointed. Then Victor crosses the room and locks the door.

“Let’s act it out. Stand next to that wall,” Victor instructs Yuri. Yuri hesitates, then walks over. Yuri crosses his arms, trying to act nonchalant. Victor walks over next to him, looking down at him. Suddenly, Victor slams the wall behind Yuri, their faces close. Yuri flinches slightly, but stays put. Then Victor tilts Yuri’s chin up, till they’re almost kissing. A sort of tension builds up between them. Yuri’s face is turning red, so Victor steps away. Victor is a bit rattled. The playacting felt weird.

“Um, don’t do the wall slam, but she might like the chin tilt thing,” adds Victor, wondering what just happened.

Yuri nods quickly, not daring to look at Victor’s face. Yuri pulls out his phone and pretends to check something. Must be a teen hormone thing, his body is all wound up. He watches Victor grab his notebook, and scribble away, obviously inspired to write something. Yuri hopes it’s not about what a dork Yuri is! Yuri sighs, wondering what kissing feels like... Is it anything like anime?

The following week, Victor shows up with Megumi Rei. Yuri looks at them questioningly. Victor admits,

“I don’t really know much about… girls. Megumi is going to help you.”

“Call me Megumi, all right, Yuri-kun?” Yuri nods. She seems pleased to be the center of attention. She begins,

“Lesson one: Show interest in her hobbies. What does she like to do?”

Yuri remembers,

“Watch boys playing sports? And she likes to shop…”

“Good. Invite her to watch you at a swim meet,” Megumi replies, shaking her head at Yuri’s pile of snacks. She shoves them into the nearest waste bin. “You need to lose weight. Then take her to her favorite store.”

Yuri stares sadly at his lost snacks, then says,

“Oh… But… I’m still not good enough to compete, and her favorite store sells…” and mumbles something.

“Sells what?” demands Megumi. Yuri whispers,

“Undergarments.”

Megumi cocks her head to the side, and asks,

“How do you know that? Stalker much?”

Yuri shakes his head vigorously,

“She’s the one who...”

“Lesson two: Take charge. Choose which movie to see, and where to eat. Girls hate guys who are wishy washy.”

Yuri shakes his head, whining,

“But what if I pick wrong?”

“Lesson three: Get close. Brush up against her arm. A girl that likes you will blush, or move away shyly.”

“What if she doesn’t like it?” asks Yuri, horrified by the thought of rejection.

“You get smacked,” answer Megumi and Victor at once. Megumi giggles, while Victor rolls his eyes. Yuri gets even more panicked, and hides his head in his arms on the desk.

A few weeks later, Yuri considers inviting Yuko to a swim practice. After doing his morning laps, he asks,

“Victor… Tell me honestly. I don’t have a perfect body like you do, but would a girl find me attractive?”

Victor examines Yuri, while the other boy looks away in embarrassment.

“You look fine to me, your baby fat goes with your round face,” decides Victor. Yuri stomps the floor in frustration.

“I’ve actually gained weight. Coach says I’m gaining muscle, but I still haven’t shed any fat. He told me to stop eating meat!” wails Yuri, like it’s the end of the world. Victor wishes he could comfort Yuri, like pat his back. But Victor just stands there. Then he gets an idea.

At lunchtime, Victor motions for Yuri to follow. He tells Yuri,

“I have a surprise.” They climb a several staircases, then stop at a roof access door. “I swiped a master key from my house, and it works on this door. Now we have our own private place to eat.”

Yuri walks around the rooftop tentatively.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I don’t want to get into trouble, and we already have our private clubroom.”

“Come on, Yuri! This is the most amazing view of the city, and we can finally walk on the roof of hell!”

Yuri giggles at that last comment, and sits down. He opens his bento lunchbox, and stares at it like it’s the enemy.

“These slices of pork look so good!” complains Yuri. Victor grabs his chopsticks, and swipes the meat slices and puts them in his own lunchbox.

“Hey, I’ll help you with your diet!” says Victor with a grin. Yuri scowls for a moment, then tries to recapture the slices with his chopsticks. Victor responds by stuffing all the pork in his mouth, unable to close his mouth as he chews. Yuri relents with a sour face, then takes his phone and snaps a picture of Victor with his cheeks stuffed with meat. Victor mumbles with his mouth full,

“Don’t shou dare show shat to anyone!”

Yuri answers,

“Don’t worry. I’ll only show Megumi-san.”

Victor makes a playful swipe for the cell phone, then gives up. He finds himself grinning at Yuri, and the other boy smiles back.

After eating, they lie down side by side, gazing at the clouds in the sky. Victor feels oddly peaceful next to the other boy. He’s never had a friend like this before. He hears Yuri say,

“Victor, I’m glad you came to Japan.”

“Me too.” He glances over. “My father claims we’re here for business reasons. But he has a new mistress here,” suddenly confides Victor. Yuri looks at him with wide eyes. He asks,

“Does she… live with you?”

“No. It’s worse than that. We live here with my stepmother. She was his mistress while he was still with my mom. I don’t like my stepmother, but... she’s having a hard time.”

“Do you... hate your father?”

“No. But I don’t like him either. At least I have my grandmother, she adores me. We talk on the phone every week.”

“Oh. Good. We all need love.” Yuri is quiet for a moment, then suggests, “Hey! You should get a pet!”

“Like a dog?” suggests Victor. Dogs seem warm and friendly.

“Like a _kabutomushi_!” explains Yuri.

“A rhinoceros beetle?” repeats Victor, trying not to seem disgusted.

“I love those! I always wanted one, but they’re expensive, so I tried to raise one, but the grub grossed me out, so my sister took it...” Yuri trails off, emotionally. Victor wants to laugh, but stifles it. Then he looks over at Yuri and admits,

“I’ve never told anyone about my family life before.”

Yuri scooches over til their shoulders touch, then they lay there quietly for a while.

“I’m glad you can talk to me. I miss talking to Yuko, though,” adds Yuri wistfully. Victor frowns, and asks,

“Why do you like Yuko so much?”

“I was lonely as a child. Then her family moved nearby, and she changed my world. She’s friendly, happy. From that moment on, I always wanted to be by her side. In middle school, I decided to marry her. She was determined to be accepted to this private academy, so I studied every spare minute to get in as well.”

“Wow. Must be nice to be so sure, to be so devoted to someone.”

“Huh? Not really. It kind of sucks, ‘coz she doesn’t feel the same.”


	3. July Sunshine

**Summer **

Right before summer vacation, Yuri goes to see Yuko, who is eating lunch in the courtyard. The air is hot, and humid, and the cicadas are buzzing in the trees around them.

“Uh, hum, it must’ve been hard finding out about Victor’s girlfriend… So, are you coming back to the literature club?” Yuri looks down at the ground. “It’s… It’s not as much fun without you.”

Yuko shrugs and offers,

“Maybe we can hang out. Summer break is coming up, do you have any plans?”

Yuri hesitates, then replies,

“The swim team is having a special practice at the beach. You could come and… uh, watch or something? It’s the beach, you could do other things too...”

“I suppose. But I’d need a new bathing suit… My old one doesn’t fit. Ooh, I wonder if my mother would let me buy a bikini? I bet I could turn some heads with a sexy top, even Victor might notice!” She nods and accepts, “Okay, I’ll be there.”

Yuri slowly walks to the clubroom, feeling once more like an idiot. He murmurs to himself,

“Why do I do this to myself?!”

Victor darts in behind him, quickly sliding the door shut.

“What did you do?” he asks, a bit out of breath from dodging girls.

“I invited Yuko-chan to the beach for the special swim practice,” admits Yuri.

“Mmm, that’s okay. Coach will be working us so hard, you’ll barely notice she’s there. Are you worried about swimming in the ocean?”

“No… It’s, uh… oh, it’s not that. I wasn’t going ‘coz there’s nowhere to change.” Yuri sees Victor giving him a puzzled look. He continues, “Look, my parents own a hot spring inn. Naked people wandering about… I get uncomfortable! That’s… That’s why I always change in the bathroom stalls.”

“Oh. I could bring a small tent to change in?” offers Victor. Yuri nods in relief.

“Really? That would help! I hope Yuko buys a one piece... Why can’t she wear the school swimsuit?”

Yuri throws his hands up, and heaves a big sigh.

A few days later, the guys on the swim team take the bus together, most of them already jabbering about girls. One boisterous boy says loudly,

“The beach is the best! It’s the only place where girls are expected to wear almost nothing!”

Yuri overhears the conversation, and turns pale. Victor looks at him concerned and asks,

“Are you going to vomit? I’ll ask the bus driver to stop!”

Yuri shakes his head. Yuri whispers,

“It’s just… It’s just... I get nervous around girls. And it doesn’t help when they wear swimsuits.”

Yuri bends over, and holds his stomach.

“Oh. Um, close your eyes,” recommends Victor. Then he goes back to jotting things in his notebook.

Once at the beach, the coach makes them do warm-ups, then they swim back and forth to a buoy dozens of times. By the end of the training session, the boys collapse on the beach panting. Yuri hears,

“Hey, Yuri-kun, how was your…” begins Yuko, then Yuri starts to choke, seeing her large boobs in a blue and white bikini. Yuri grabs his training jacket, and throws it over her shoulders.

“You look… cold. Plus it’s sunny. You could get cancer, or burned. You could get… burn cancer. How about pants?”

Yuri opens his backpack, and pulls out all his clothing. Victor watches Yuri’s meltdown, and intervenes.

“Yuri, she doesn’t want your clothes. Take off your glasses,” says Victor, motioning to Yuri’s face. Yuri swipes them off, then clenches his eyes shut. Victor turns towards Yuko, and says with exaggerated politeness, “Shall I take that jacket for you? I’d hate to deprive the beach of your charms.”

Yuko gives Victor an angry glare, but hesitates to take the jacket off. She whispers furiously to Yuri,

“Did I go overboard on the sexy? Tell me!!!”

Yuri winces uncomfortably, looks down, and mumbles,  
“Uh, not really... I just think we should all wear clothes!”

Yuko rolls her eyes, throws the jacket back at Yuri, and goes over to hang out with some other girls.

Victor looks at Yuri sympathetically, and tells him,

“Yuri, bodies are beautiful. In Europe, there are statues of naked people as art.”

“Really? I’ll stay in Japan,” replies Yuri, scrunching his eyes shut.

Victor gives up on the situation, disappears into the changing tent, and comes out wearing regular swim trunks. Yuri gulps, grabs a towel and hides underneath. He rummages in his backpack, and finds a small copy of Basho poems. He opens up the front of the towel, as Victor wades into the water, the bright sun sparkling around him. Yuri scrunches his eyes shut, then remembers what Victor said. Yuri puts on his glasses, and watches Victor. Victor is incredibly beautiful, he looks like some kind of sun deity. Then he dives and disappears from view. Yuri is astonished when his book opens to the following page:

_The Mogami River_  
Has swept the burning Sun  
Down into the Ocean.

Yuri covers his head again with a towel. Later in the afternoon, Victor puts on a shirt and some shorts, and goes to see Yuri. Yuri looks like a turtle, hunched under his brown towel, occasionally sticking out his head. Victor taps the head under the towel and asks,

“Do you want to go home with the team? Or we could stay, there are fireworks this evening.”

“How would we get home?” responds Yuri.

“My family has a private car with a driver. He can come pick us up.”

“Wow. Sure. The beach will be nice when people put their clothes back on.”

Victor shakes his head in disbelief at Yuri’s weirdness. Still, it’s comfortable sitting next to him on the sand, gazing at the ocean. Later that night, they watch the colored lights explode in the sky, he feels happier than he’s been in ages. He tells Yuri,

“_Hanabi_ means flower fire. Even bombs can be transformed into ephemeral flowers of fire.”

“You should write a poem about that – it’s a good start,” responds Yuri eagerly. Victor giggles, it’s so easy to please Yuri.

“Why do you like poetry so much?”

“The words... uh, they sort of resonate, they make me feel... good?” Yuri tries to explain, then shrugs helplessly. Victor responds,

“Kind of odd that someone long ago could make you feel... It’s a special power.”

Yuri smiles. Victor feels drawn in by it. He’d like to sit even closer to Yuri, but he doesn’t want to make the other boy uncomfortable. But Yuri opens a bag of crackers, scooches closer and offers some to him. Victor takes one. Then he goes back to looking up at the sky, enjoying the warmth of the body next to him, and their arms bumping as they eat.


	4. September Breeze

**Autumn **

The weather cools, and Yuri peruses the books in the clubroom, searching for a seasonal poem. Victor walks in and Yuri shares,

“I’d like to do _O-tsukimi_, a moon viewing. We could sit on a blanket outside, eat sweet dumplings, and recite poetry like in the Heian period.”

Victor nods, and sits down, opening his notebook. He plays with his pen, like he’s trying to figure out how to write something. Yuri watches him. Ever since seeing Victor in the ocean, Yuri notices little things about Victor. The way Victor tucks his hair behind his ear when he’s focused on a math problem. The way Victor rarely says anything around other people, but watches intently. That way he waits patiently while a girl confesses to him, trying to be kind when he says no. Just this morning, Yuri saw Victor and a tall girl talking underneath a tree, with crimson leaves falling around them. Yuri finds the perfect poem by Shiko and reads out loud,

“_Coveted by all,_

_turning into such beauty –_

_the following red leaves._”

Victor closes his notebook and responds,

“Nice poem, I like how the beauty can be the tree and the person. Does it remind you of Yuko?”

Yuri turns towards Victor, and stammers,

“Who? Oh, Yuko… right, of course.”

That week, the teacher announces a class field trip. She explains,

“We will be visiting Kyoto, the ancient Heian capital. We’ll travel by train, spending the night and returning the next day. This is a wonderful chance to enrich your...”

Yuri barely hears the rest. He bites his lip, wondering if he can afford to go. He whispers Hashimoto, the boy next to him,

“Do we have to pay for hotel?”

Hashimoto rolls his eyes, then shakes his head. He replies,

“The school pays for the accommodations. We’ll all stay in a big room together.”

Yuri smiles, relieved. Then Hashimoto whispers,

“Boys and girls in separate rooms. But you know… sometimes girls sneak into the boys’ room for kissing and stuff…”

Yuri looks at him horrified, then stares at his desk, and gnaws on a pencil.

Yuri arrives at the clubroom early, and paces nervously. Eventually the door slides open, and Victor steps in, and Yuri asks,

“I want to ask, I mean, maybe you could share… Are you a good kisser?”

Victor shrugs and answers,

“It’s not like girls give me a report afterwards, but they want to do it again.”

Yuri nods, then points to his hand.

“I’ve been practicing kissing my hand. Would you watch me do it – tell me if it looks right?”

Victor furrows his brow.

“I don’t think you kissing your hand could ever look right,” retorts Victor. Yuri sighs noisily. Victor offers hesitantly,

“If it’s not too weird… Nah, forget it.”

“Please say it… I’m pathetic and desperate,” urges Yuri. Victor glances at him from the side,

“You could practice on me.”

Yuri’s eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open. Victor immediately back tracks,

“It’s a stupid idea, pretend I never said anything.”

Yuri nods. He gets out his homework, and Victor does as well. After about half an hour, Yuri excuses himself and leaves. Victor covers his head in his hands, and murmurs,

“Good job, Victor. That was your only friend at this school.”

The next day, Yuri doesn’t say a single word to Victor. Victor nods to him politely, and avoids the literature clubroom. Unwilling to deal with fawning girls, Yuko’s glacial stares, or Yuri’s appalled looks, Victor goes up to the roof. He sits near the ledge, watching the view. He’d forgotten how terrible loneliness can be. Morose, he pulls out his notebook and writes. This weekend alone in his father’s mansion is going to be more depressing than usual.

Monday morning, Yuri stops by his desk.

“Are you going to the clubroom after school?” asks Yuri, without eye contact.

“Only if you want me to,” replies Victor hesitantly.

“I need help with something. Meet me there.”

Yuri shuffles nervously back to his seat. Victor shrugs, then doodles on a paper, wondering why Yuri wants to talk to him.

After school, Victor walks into the clubroom, and sees that Yuri is sweating profusely. Victor takes a sip from a soda bottle, then hands it to Yuri. Yuri stares at the top of the bottle, then finally takes a deep breath and sips from it. Victor frowns at the weird behavior.

“Why are you so nervous?” demands Victor, starting to feel a bit rattled himself.

“That was my first indirect kiss,” admits Yuri.

“What’s an indirect kiss?”

Yuri points to the bottle.

“When your lips touch the same thing as another person’s lips.”

“Oh.” Victor grabs the bottle back, and takes another swig. “My first indirect kiss with a boy.”

Yuri’s face becomes even more flushed.

“So… is your offer… still available?” squeaks Yuri.

“Sure.”

“But… isn’t it a bit… homo?”

Victor shrugs.

“I don’t think kissing one boy makes you gay. Are you worried I’ll tell other people?”

“I’m always worried what others think – about everything! Kids stare at how dweeby I am…”

“Sounds rough. I could ask Megumi if she’d kiss you, but I’m not sure Yuko would like that…”

“Megumi-san? No way!” protests Yuri. “Wait, won’t she be… jealous?”

Victor shakes his head.

“We’re not dating seriously. She agreed to play my girlfriend to make the other girls back off. She’s secretly dating some college guy her parents don’t approve of…”

Yuri goes over and locks the door, then pulls the curtains shut. It’s a little dark, but it’s still easy to see. Victor sits down on the couch, and Yuri sits next to him. Then Yuri scooches over. Finally, Yuri presses his lips onto Victor’s. The kiss lasts barely half a second, and neither of them move. Then Yuri gets up.

“Oh. Thank you very much. I’ll be leaving first,” Yuri mumbles in polite Japanese.

Yuri arrives home in his bedroom, he collapses on his bed, discontented. The phone rings,

“_Moshi, moshi_, Victor. Uh, how are you?” Yuri squeaks into the receiver. Victor replies,

“You acted weird. No, you always act weird. You seemed… unhappy. After.”

“Oh. I’ve been so nervous about this kissing thing, I was expecting it to be more… more,” Yuri explains lamely. Victor says reassuringly,

“Dummy! That’s because it was with me, not with the girl you like.”

“Oh. Of course. I didn’t think of that. Thanks. Good night,” says Yuri, relieved at Victor’s words.

“Good night.”

Yuri smiles at his phone. Victor has a way of making everything all right.

About a week later, Victor notices Yuko observing the swim practices from a distance. It feels different than before, and Yuri hasn’t noticed because he doesn’t wear his glasses at the pool. Victor decides to confront her,

“You’re spying on Yuri? He arrived third in our last race.”

Yuko looks startled.

“He’s lost weight. I didn’t know… he could look so good,” admits Yuko shyly.

“Really? I think he’s just as attractive as he always was,” replies Victor coldly. Yuko defends herself,

“Well of course… you’re a boy. You don’t see it from a girl’s point of view.”

“Or maybe I’m just less superficial than you are,” remarks Victor meanly. Yuko frowns, upset, and walks away. Victor turns away, irritated. Yuko brings out the worst in him.

After midterm exams, their class takes the train to Kyoto. Victor observes the scenery, and jots things in the black notebook he now always carries with him.

“What are you writing about?” asks Yuri. Victor looks upward, thinking.

“Little moments. A guy with a tattoo. A beautiful tree. Something funny someone says.”

“So it’s not a journal? You’re not inscribing the secrets of your soul?”

Victor smiles mischievously.

“Maybe, maybe not,” replies Victor. He opens the notebook to a random page. “Wanna see?”

Yuri nods his head emphatically. But he can’t make out a single word, he asks,

“You wrote it in code?”

“It’s in Cyrillic, in Russian,” explains Victor with a chuckle. Yuri pouts in disappointment.

A few hours later, they arrive in Kyoto, and walk as a group to a traditional Japanese inn. The teacher announces,

“Students, check in, get your keys and leave your luggage behind in your rooms. Then we’ll go sightseeing.”

Unsure of the situation, Yuri checks in last at the front desk.

“May I have your name, sir?” inquires the receptionist.

“Katsuki Yuri. I’m with the group accommodation…”

“I’m sorry, sir, we only offer individual rooms. I’m not finding a reservation under your name. Perchance you reserved at a different hotel? We appear not to have a vacancy, but I can call and find you a room close by…”

Yuri shakes his head, suddenly panicked.

“I… I can’t… so sorry, and I have nowhere to put my bag…”

The young woman at the front desk nods sympathetically.

“We can hold it behind the desk for you. Please do not hesitate to request help with anything.”

The teacher leads the class sightseeing around the city. Yuri follows distractedly, wondering where to spend the night. Maybe he just should take the train back to Hasetsu. Meanwhile, the class arrives at a famous temple. They climb the steps of a hill. The old wooden temple is surrounded by trees covered in red and orange leaves, and sits on a hill overlooking the city. Yuko comes up to him, and gives him a big smile.

“Kiyomizu-dera is an amazing temple! We can see all of Kyoto from here,” she exclaims.

“Yes. Amazing,” Yuri repeats morosely.

“What are you so down about? Isn’t this fun?” she says, making a goofy face at him. Yuri smiles in spite of himself, cheered up by her presence, and tells her,

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Yuko giggles and adds,

“Don’t forget to drink from the waterfall, it brings good luck with studies.”

She joins some other girls. Yuri follows the group down the narrow path crowded with tourists, then drinks a ladle from the waterfall. At the bottom of the hill, he notices the Jishu shrine, dedicated to the love kami, Okuninushi. There are two large stones, about 20 meters apart, encircled with sacred ropes. A sign explains if you can walk from one stone to the other with your eyes closed, you’ll find true love. Yuri glances around him, but no one from his group is paying attention. Yuri stands in front of the first stone, points himself in the right direction, then closes his eyes and walks slowly forward. The distance didn’t seem very far, but with his eyes closed, it seems to be taking forever. Yuri puts his hand out in front of him, but he still can’t feel the other stone. He stops for a moment, somehow sensing he’s gone in the wrong direction. Then he hears Victor’s voice,

“If you reach out to the right, I’ll take your hand and guide you.”

Yuri flinches a bit in surprise, then hesitates. He tells Victor,

“Isn’t that cheating?”

“No, maybe you’ll need help to find true love,” replies Victor. Yuri nods, that sounds reasonable. He puts out his hand, and feels Victor’s warm hand slowly pull him to the left, then place his hand on the rough stone. Yuri opens his eyes, and smiles at Victor happily. Victor grins back.

That afternoon, the school group visits Maruyama Park, a landscaped natural area with a pond, bridges, and giant maple trees with red leaves. The teacher is saying,

“This park is a nationally designated place of scenic beauty…”

Suddenly, Yuko grabs his arm and drags him away from the others, behind some bushes. Puzzled by the situation, Yuri follows silently. Yuko watches him intently, till Yuri demands,

“Do I have a booger on my nose?”

Yuko shakes her head, then asks him,

“Have you ever thought about… kissing me?”

“_Nai, nai, nai, nai_! I would never…” exclaims Yuri, horrified she has found out his secret.

“Would it really be so terrible?” she says softly. Yuri realizes his mistake. He should say something manly and cool. Instead Yuri pleads,

“I didn’t mean that! It’s just that you’re so… and I’m so… so you see…”

Yuko puts her finger on his lips, so Yuri shuts up. Then he feels her lips press upon his. He freezes. The weird part is the pillows hitting his chest. Boobs. Then she steps away.

“Yuri, try to see me as a girl, a pretty girl. Let me know what you think.”

Yuri stands there with his mind blank. Then eventually, he tiptoes out of the bushes.

The rest of the evening, Yuko gives him an occasional flirty smile. Instead of being happy about it, Yuri feels discombobulated by the change. Victor notices the change in dynamics. Back at the hotel, the boys band together to soak in the hot baths, while the girls head to their side of the inn. Victor searches for Yuri, then asks a classmate,

“Have you seen Katsuki?”

The other boy laughs.

“The poor boy with the bad haircut? Hashimoto-san told him there was a group room paid for by school, and now he has no place to sleep. That’ll teach the lower classes from getting above themselves!”

Victor gives him a glacial stare, then searches for Yuri outside the inn. He finds him in a nearby park, sitting on a bench hugging his bag on his lap. Victor gestures for him to come along.

“I have a private room, you can stay with me. We’ll think of a way to get back at that jerk from class.”

Yuri shrugs, but doesn’t budge. Yuri must still be upset. Victor stands for a while wondering what to do. Then he checks his phone and points upward, and recites,

“_Viewing the moon_  
no one at the party  
has such a beautiful face

-Basho”

Victor bites his lip, self-conscious at what he’s doing. It seems hokey to always please his friend with poetry. But Yuri’s face changes, a look of pure adoration lights up his face. Victor smiles back, then turns away, suddenly embarrassed. They walk back to the inn slowly. Yuri looks up at the moon. Victor looks up too, stubs his toe on a sidewalk edge, and falls on the grass. Yuri cries,

“Are you okay?”

Victor nods, getting back up.

“Yeah. That’s why we should be sitting on a blanket. Moon viewing can be dangerous,” Victor says with a smirk. Yuri giggles. As they walk the streets of Kyoto, he whispers in awe,

“I had no idea a night could be so beautiful...”

Once at the inn, Victor shows Yuri his small tatami room. Victor asks,

“Do you want me to order another futon?”

“Nah... unless you mind sharing?” answers Yuri. “I’m used to sleeping with my mom, or my sister.”

Victor shrugs.

“It’s fine.”

They get ready to sleep quietly, and Victor lies down on the futon. He finds it strange to have another body nearby. He feels oddly nervous, probably because he’s never shared a bed before. He makes himself as narrow as possible, and scooches to the edge of the futon. Yuri sits next to him, then reaches over his body to turn the lamp out. Then Yuri confides,

“Yuko-chan sort of… kissed me.”

Victor feels a bit irritated at the news. He answers,

“Yeah, I figured. She likes your new athletic look. How was it?”

“Okay... I guess.” Yuri heaves a big sigh. “There’s something missing. When I watch people on TV, they act like kisses are the best thing ever. So far it’s been... blah.”

“Maybe you need practice. Or maybe the right person – I dunno.” Victor yawns. “G’d night.”

“Yeah, maybe. Nite nite,” replies Yuri with a sigh.

Victor wakes up a several times. Once with Yuri’s elbow in his ribs, then a knee in his back. At first, Victor gently pushes Yuri away, but as the night progresses, he simply shoves Yuri away.

Yuri wakes up in the middle of the night, not sure exactly where he is. His hand has something warm and firm under it. Ah. It feels like a penis, an erect penis, under pajamas. Yuri smiles pleasantly, in his dream his penis was being stroked. He can feel it throbbing. He moves his hand a bit, but something is wrong. He can’t feel his own hand on his own penis. Then, where is his hand…? His eyes pop open in sudden fear. He tilts his head towards the right, and sees Victor sleeping next to him. Yuri’s hand is on Victor’s penis… Oh holy crap! Yuri gulps, and very slowly pulls his hand back towards himself. Please, Victor better not wake up! As Yuri’s hand creeps away from Victor’s body, Victor moans. Yuri freezes. Then in desperation, Yuri yanks his hand and turns away from the other boy. He curls up in a ball, barely able to breathe, waiting to hear something. After what seems like hours, Victor makes a snoring sound and Yuri passes out.

The next morning, Yuri gets up early and leaves the room before Victor wakes up. He waits in the dining room for his classmates to get up and eat breakfast. Hashimoto shows up and calls out,

“Hey Katsuki-san, did you sleep in a park?”

Several boys snicker. Yuri grits his teeth, then Victor appears and says coolly,

“Next one who picks on Katsuki, my father will blacklist your business internationally.”

The boys become quiet. Then Victor tells Yuri cheerfully,

“Morning! I slept really well, I must’ve been really tired.”

Yuri mumbles without looking up,

“Uh, good morning... I... slept well too.”

Yuri heaves a sigh of relief. Victor didn’t wake up. Yuri still feels uncomfortable facing Victor, so he spends the day sticking next to Yuko. She continues to smile and flirt at him in her new fashion.

That evening, the students are given free time. Several students divide into couples. Yuri is surprised when Megumi shows up in a tight green dress, and greets Victor breezily. Victor is unusually pleasant with her, and buys her a pretty bracelet. Then he compliments her,

“Your dress is lovely, it accents your eyes.”

Yuri becomes more and more glum watching Victor flirt with his girlfriend. Yuko pouts a bit, then says,

“You haven’t said a word about my pink dress.”

Actually, the pink color doesn’t suit her, though Yuri’s not sure why. Megumi’s outfit in comparison seems perfect.

“It’s very… girly,” Yuri finally manages. Yuko seems off put by the comment.

“But do I look pretty? Cute?” she probes. Yuri nods.

“Of course. But you especially… have a good personality,” assures Yuri. He really enjoys her energy and smiles.

“Oh yuck. You still think of me as a friend,” accuses Yuko, looking upset. Yuri shrugs, unable to reply, wondering what he’s done wrong.

Victor invites Megumi to a movie, a romantic comedy, and several couples join them. Yuri grabs Yuko’s arm and follows the others into the theater. Yuko seems surprised by his sudden decisiveness, but she goes with a hopeful look in her eyes. Once the movie starts, Victor kisses Megumi, and lets his hands wander. Yuri watches in shock. Japanese people don’t touch in public, and not in movie theaters. Plus, Victor is usually so… reserved. The opposite of lustful. Contained. Yuri feels a weird twisting in his stomach.

“Yuri. Yuri!” Yuko whispers to him. She takes his hand, gives him a mischievous look and reaches over with her lips puckered. Yuri shakes his head, and whispers back,

“Not in front of others!”

Then he pretends to watch the screen for the rest of the movie.

When the credits roll, Yuri heads towards the restroom, then disappears through a rear exit. He finds a deserted children’s playground, and sits on the swing, not understanding the conflicting emotions roiling through his body. On the train ride back home, Yuri sits alone, away from both Yuko and Victor.


	5. October Chill

Back at the high school, Yuko acts as if Yuri’s invisible. Then Yuri says,

“Good morning Victor...”

“Not good. Just morning,” replies Victor irritably. Yuri waits till they’re alone in the clubroom to ask,

“What’s wrong?”

“It was a mistake to invite Megumi to Kyoto. It didn’t go well,” explains Victor grumpily.

“Really? You two were getting along in the movie theater…” insinuates Yuri. Victor walks around agitated.

“We’re not getting along. We broke up.”

Yuri immediately becomes contrite and says,

“Oh sorry… You’ve been dating for a while, you must be upset…”

Victor shakes his head.

“I never loved her. She knew that. But she kept other girls away. The thing is, Yuri, she has a big mouth, and she might say things about me… Don’t listen to her. Really. Just talk to me, okay?” rambles Victor.

“Sure,” assures Yuri. Victor sighs in relief, then he asks,

“So what happened with Yuko? She was flirting with you…”

Yuri groans, and says,

“I did something that upset her, at the movie theater.” Yuri pauses, then confesses, “She wanted to kiss, but I didn’t feel comfortable... I don’t know – I mean, we were in public... I refused to kiss her, then escaped – I’m a total idiot, aren’t I?”

Victor shrugs.

“I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m the total idiot,” mumbles Victor.

Later that week, Yuri is leaving school when Megumi shows up and hands him a plastic bag.

“Yuri-kun, would you give this to Victor? He left some stuff at my house, and it’s awkward to return it,” she admits.

“Of course. Are you all right?” Yuri asks solicitously. She ruffles his hair. Yuri recoils, and blushes.

“You’re so cute! Too bad I’m too tall for you… Don’t worry, I have a college guy just waiting…” she says airily. Then she smiles at him coquettishly, then waves goodbye. Yuko comes up behind him, and says huffily,

“So you’re dating that model girl you’ve been gaga about?”

Yuri looks at her puzzled, and replies,

“Megumi-san? No, uh,… though I guess she’s now available.”

“Oh, puh-lease, Yuri. You couldn’t take your eyes off her in Kyoto,” accuses Yuko, then walks away with her arms crossed. Yuri frowns. Does he like Megumi-san? She’s pretty to look at, but he doesn’t feel anything more than that.

Feeling confused, Yuri heads to the clubroom, then reorganizes the literature and poetry books. Victor comes in and remarks,

“Uh oh. You’re moving books around – what’s wrong?”

“Yuko-chan saw me talk to Megumi-san, and was jealous. Shouldn’t I be happy?” puzzles Yuri. Victor looks slightly alarmed and asks,

“Did… Did Megumi say anything about me?”

Yuri shakes his head.

“She just gave me a bag of your stuff. She seemed okay.”

Victor looks relieved.

“You know, my grandmother, my mother’s mom, grew up very poor. She worked hard her whole life, scrimping and saving, her hands were rough and calloused. She always dreamed about going on a cruise. Late in her life, my mother paid for the cruise. I asked my grandmother how it went, and she said ‘_So so. Dreaming about the cruise was better than the actual cruise._’ ”

Yuri suddenly grins.

“You’re right! I’m gonna go on a cruise!” announces Yuri. Victor frowns, and counters,

“That’s not the point of the story...”

The next day at lunch, Yuri sits in the courtyard and looks around at the different girls. There are so many! Tall and short, of all shapes and sizes, it’s amazing all the things they do with their hair. Which one should he ask out? He finishes his lunch, still having no idea which girl to approach. As he packs up to leave, a girl with a short bob shyly says to him,

“I… sort of… like you? Are you…?”

Yuri nods relieved, and quickly answers,

“I’ll walk you home after school. Okay?”

The girl smiles a bit, and walks away. Yuri suddenly feels like he’s going to throw up. He runs up to the clubroom as fast as he can. Once there, he cries,

“Victor! Victor, look at the window!”

Victor frowns, and looks outside at the clouds. Yuri points and says,

“No! Look down at the girls, that one with the helmet hair, do you know her name?”

Victor shakes his head. Yuri collapses onto the couch in dismay.

“We’re dating… and I forgot to ask her name…” groans Yuri. Victor stares at him for a moment, then giggles. Yuri glares at Victor for a moment, then laughs as well.

The next morning, Yuri hides in the bathroom til just before the starting bell. Then he rushes to his seat, while Victor snickers at him. Yuri observes his ‘_girlfriend_’ for a moment, wondering how to find out her name. Asking any other girl will result in humiliation. And Yuko won’t help him now. At the end of class, Victor checks a clipboard, and goes up to the mystery girl.

“Tanaka-san, have you turned in your college goal document?”

The girl looks at him in surprise.

“I did, Nikiforov-san. But my name is Asane Chitose, not Tanaka, sorry…” she corrects softly. Victor frowns at his clipboard.

“I must have the class list from another class…” explains Victor. Yuri sighs in relief. Yuri whispers to Victor as he leaves,

“Thanks, I owe you one.”

Two weeks later, Yuri is sitting next to Asane after school, feeling like a prisoner. The girl is perfectly nice, so Yuri feels obliged to treat her well. But he wishes he could end it. Seeing Victor, he calls out,

“Hey, want help with your kanji? Sorry, I’ve been busy…”

Victor shakes his head irritably, and replies,

“Don’t bother with me. I’ll get help elsewhere.”

Yuri turns to his girlfriend and apologizes,

“I’ve been neglecting my best friend. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Yuri follows Victor, who grabs his things and walks towards his home. They arrive at a walled compound of a large mansion, and Victor gives him a cold look. Yuri flinches a little, but follows anyway. Victor enters a keycode, then goes up the steps to the front door. The place looks like a European country home, with two stories. Victor leads up the staircase and down the hallway finally entering a large room with a huge bed, a table, and a gigantic TV. Yuri opens his bag pulls out his homework, and scribbles some answers on the worksheet. Victor narrows his eyes, then does the same. Yuri looks around and asks,

“Where are your... adults?”

“My father is on a business trip in Moscow. My stepmother is shopping in Rome.”

“Wow. Victor... are you mad we haven’t spent time together?”

Victor huffs,

“Nope. But... you haven’t even called...”

“I... I should have! I wanted to... but I thought you’d want a break from me,” admits Yuri. Victor retorts,

“No dummy! I like spending time with you.”

Yuri turns pink, and gets back to homework. Then Yuri mumbles,

“I like... spending time with you too.”

Victor looks away, and smiles. After about an hour, a maid brings in some snacks and juice. Victor asks,

“How are things with Asane-san?”

“It’s like... I’m in an arranged marriage with someone nice, that I don’t have feelings for. At least, she doesn’t try to kiss me...”

“I thought you wanted to kiss...?” probes Victor. Yuri shrugs.

“Not her! I want to break up with her but… she never does anything mean or selfish. I don’t know how to dump her.”

“Tell her you still have feelings for Yuko. It’s the truth.”

“I suppose… what about you?” questions Yuri, gnawing on his pen.

“What about me?” echoes Victor.

“Girls are always confessing to you. Are you going to… go out with one?”

Victor shrugs discontentedly.

“I never feel… in love with any of them. But I have urges, and I’d like to… satisfy them. It feels like I’m using the girls. It’s more fun to hang out with you, even if we’re just doing homework.”

“Let’s work quickly, we could watch a movie after… I’ve never seen such a large TV screen!” exclaims Yuri, impressed by Victor’s room.

The rest of the week, Yuri avoids Asane, and spends all his spare time with Victor. The Nikiforov mansion is elegant and usually empty, and Yuri enjoys the quiet and privacy of Victor’s room. Yutopia is crowded and noisy by comparison. On the weekend, Yuri visits for a sleepover. Yuri rummages through his bag, then complains,

“I swear I put my favorite pajamas in here! I’ll go back home, I don’t wanna sleep in my jeans.”

Victor shakes his head, and quickly pulls out his smallest sleeping set, a blue pinstripe. Victor throws it at Yuri, saying,

“It’s late. Just wear these.”

Yuri takes the pajamas, and goes to change in the restroom. He comes out with his sleeves flapping, the material is too long in the arms and legs. But Yuri checks himself out in the mirror, and squeals ecstatic,

“Yay! Victor, look! I’m in your pants!”

Victor chokes on a piece of fruit, and says in a strangled tone,

“What?”

Yuri pulls up his pajama top, revealing a muscled stomach.

“I’ve lost so much weight, that I can fit in your pants! No wonder Chitose-san was willing to go out with me!”

Victor closes his eyes, feeling uncomfortable. But he insists,

“You’re nice. Anyone would be lucky to go out with you.”

During the movie, Victor takes out a brush and absentmindedly pulls it through his long hair. Yuri offers,

“Can I brush it? I’m not trying to be weird – it just doesn’t look real!”

Victor shrugs, and hands him the brush. Yuri touches the hair tentatively, then runs the brush through it.

“Ow! You’re pulling the knots! My hair tangles easily,” whines Victor. Yuri goes more slowly and asks,

“Why is your hair so long?”

“Reminds me of my mom, she had long blond hair like this. Also, it annoys my dad.”

“What... What happened to your mother?”

“... Oh. She left when my dad cheated. I see her occasionally.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry – I’d tell you my family stuff, but the only thing is my sister wants a tattoo, and my parents said absolutely no, it’s not even legal til you’re 20, and my parents don’t want her to be mistaken for yakuza...”

Victor giggles and tells him,

“I’m fine. You don’t need to cheer me up.”

Yuri smiles. He’s never touched someone else’s hair before... well, he’s tugged his sister’s hair to get even with her. Usually, he’s super uncomfortable with contact by anyone except family, but he likes being close to Victor. Maybe all that necktie tying habituated him.

“Your hair is really soft and thin, mine’s a lot thicker,” exclaims Yuri. He brushes the blonde hair again, this time very slowly. It’s rather pleasant, a soothing activity. After a long time, Yuri wonders if he should stop. He checks out Victor’s face, the other boy seems hypnotized. Is Victor asleep?

“Victor?” whispers Yuri. Victor startles,

“Oh, ah, thanks… We should go to bed.”

“Not yet! The movie isn’t over. Now you brush my hair. My mom used to do it when I was little.”

Victor slowly braids his hair, still under the spell of the hair brushing. He didn’t want it to stop, he’d never felt to relaxed, yet... keyed up. He watches Yuri sit next to the bed. Then Yuri decides he’s too low, gets a pillow and plops down. There’s something about Yuri that reminds Victor of a puppy: awkward, happy and cute. Victor takes the hairbrush gingerly, and drags it through Yuri’s hair. It’s coarser than his, and thick, and Yuri is making a slight humming sound. Victor feels his hand tremble a bit, and swallows nervously.

“Okay?” Victor checks in. Yuri nods and exclaims,

“Feels great! I bet dogs feel like this when they’re being petted!”

Victor gulps. Disturbing images are filling his head. He taps his head, trying to focus on the movie.

Yuri nods happily, enjoying spending time with Victor. Though he’s a bit nervous at sleeping in Victor’s bed. What if his hand wanders? He places his hand under his body, and tucks the blanket between them.

“Are you’re okay?” questions Victor, looking puzzled.

“I’m... a bit cold.”

Victor searches his closet, and pulls out a quilt. It has a delicate red cross stitching on the edges.

“My grandmother made this my hand,” says Victor, hugging the quilt fondly. Then Victor places it on Yuri, tucking it under and Yuri giggles nervously. Then Victor lies down and leans so their heads are slightly touching. The contact makes Yuri’s back all tingly, Yuri isn’t sure why. But content, he smiles and yawns.

Victor waits for Yuri to fall asleep, though it’s hard to tell if Yuri’s completely passed out – his body keeps moving. Then Victor sits up in bed. Yuri sleeps like someone who’s crashed from above: limbs in every direction, neck cranked at an angle, mouth open with a bit of drool. The moonlight is illuminating Yuri’s face, and Victor reaches out to touch his cheek, then decides not. Instead, he touches a strand of black hair on the pillow. Then he bunches up his pillow, and watches Yuri, til sleep overcomes him.

The next morning, Yuri wakes with a start. He checks and finds his hand on Victor’s forehead. Good. That’s fine. He gives Victor’s head a quick pat, then goes back to sleep.

Monday morning, Yuri is still bubbling with happiness when Asane corners him after class.

“Are you… seeing someone else?” she asks softly. Yuri replies quickly,

“No! I’ve just been spending time with Nikiforov…”

“Katsuki-san, there’s no need to make up stories for me.”

“Oh. It’s not that… ummm, I’m sorry, you’re sweet, but no matter how I try, I still have feelings for someone else… ”

Asane looks over in Yuko’s direction.

“Yes, I figured. Thank you for dating me. You’re a nice boy, I rather liked how you never tried to… take advantage. Take care, Katsuki-san.”

“You too,” Yuri replies lamely.

At lunch, Yuri heads up to the rooftop, feeling like a louse. He waits for Victor at the door, but his friend doesn’t show up. Yuri starts to leave, then notices the door is improperly closed. He pushes it open, and walks out onto the rooftop. Over in a corner, he sees two people entwined. Victor is on the ground, and an older high school girl is on top of him. Their kisses are sexually charged with lots of tongue. Disconcerted, Yuri runs away.

After class that day, Yuri waits for Victor in the clubroom. Victor shows up a bit late. Unsettled, Yuri closes the door to the clubroom and locks it. Then he closes the drapes. Victor watches him, not saying anything. Yuri reveals without making eye contact,

“I saw you on the roof today. You know how to kiss properly, show me for real this time.”

“Are you sure?” checks Victor warily. “I don’t want you to avoid me after.”

Yuri nods and insists,

“Kiss me like the girl on the roof.”

Victor pulls his chin up and gets real close. Victor is taller, leaner and firmer than a girl. Yuri can feel Victor nip at his lips then rub a bit on them. Then the mouth is sucking on him, in the most delicious way. Yuri can feel his hands grabbing onto Victor’s shirt, wanting more, though not quite sure what more is… Yuri feels Victor pull away, and Yuri moans in protest. Victor sits down, and stares upward blankly. But Yuri spins around, exhilarated.

“I knew it!” exclaims Yuri. Victor looks at him in alarm, and asks,

“You knew what?”

“I knew there was more to this kissing stuff! That was great!” exclaims Yuri. Then he registers Victor’s dismayed expression. “What? Did I do it wrong?”

“I think something’s wrong with me…” moans Victor. Victor stands up, grabs his bag, and leaves. Yuri sits back down confused. He’s not sure what could possibly be wrong with Victor… That night, Yuri watches a movie where the main character is secretly sick. Maybe Victor has cancer?

The next morning at the pool, Victor still seems out of sorts. Unsure of what to say, Yuri challenges him,

“Let’s race.”

They both dive into the water, and Yuri cuts through the water like a knife. Swimming is so easy now. His arms and shoulders feel strong, it takes longer to get tired. Yuri beats Victor in the race by half an arm’s length. Yuri grins, elated. Victor smiles at Yuri’s happiness, and pokes Yuri’s arm.

“You’re getting cut. Girls are watching you at swim practice,” remarks Victor, then his face clouds over. “I’ll see you later.”

Yuri watches in confusion, as Victor runs and changes in a hurry. Victor is definitely not well. He’s the fastest swimmer in the district, Yuri shouldn’t have beaten him.

At lunchtime, Yuri stares at his lunch for a while. Then he gathers his courage, and goes to see Yuko. He tells her,

“I’ve been thinking… I acted stupidly. I... I don’t have much experience… with girls… But I wasn’t interested in Megumi-san. Honestly I was shocked that she was doing stuff… in public. Anyway, my birthday is coming up… I was hoping you’d come to Yutopia. We’re not doing anything special, just a small cake.”

“Is Victor gonna be there?”

“Um. I guess. I hadn’t invited him yet.”

“Could you... Could you not invite him? I’d like to try more of a couple’s evening,” she requests quietly.

“Like a date?” squeaks Yuri.

“Yes. A date.”

“Oh. All right. I’ll see you Friday.”

Afterwards, Yuri goes to see Victor.

“Umm, the thing is, I was really looking forward… but she wants… and maybe I should try...”

“It’s fine, Yuri. We’ll do something for your birthday another day.”

Victor leaves abruptly, looking upset. Yuri wants to stop him, but Victor is already gone. He exclaims,

“But... how did he know what I was talking about? I’m not even sure!”

Friday night, Yuri goes to pick up Yuko at her house. They have dinner at Yutopia, which is awkward. His mother keeps hiding behind corners, peering at the two of them gleefully. Embarrassed, Yuri suggests,

“Maybe we could go out?”

Yuko nods. They wander around the Hasetsu shopping mall, and avoid the movie theater. The only fun part is when they play some arcade games. Yuko wins him a giant stuffed bunny. It’s about half his height, and he can barely get his arms around it. It has tiny stub arms and ears. Then he walks Yuko home.

“So…” she says, looking uncomfortable. There’s no way they can kiss unless Yuri puts down the bunny. He holds on, not ready to try real kissing with her. Having no idea what to say, he exclaims,

“I love the bunny!”

Yuko breathes a sigh, says,

“Oh. Good. See you around.”

Yuko heads towards her house.

“Someday, I want to get married and have a family,” Yuri blurts out. Yuko looks down, nods, and goes inside. Yuri walks home with the stuffed animal, wondering why things aren’t working out the way he’d hoped.

The next day, Victor comes to Yutopia. He looks around the Yuri’s bedroom, only decorated with a corkboard with a bunch of photos of Yuri and Yuko in elementary school, then middle school.

“Is that a marshmallow?” Victor asks, motioning to the fat white bunny.

“No! That’s Bun-bun, my bunny. My gift from Yuko, he’s so cute, he sleeps with me now,” explains Yuri happily. Victor nods. Yuri has his own life, so different from his. Soon, Yuri and Yuko will be together all the time, it’s obvious the date went well. Victor feels downcast. He doesn’t say much, and soon leaves.


	6. December Frost

**Winter **

As the end of December approaches, the air turns bitterly cold, and it snows. Students are talking of two things: exams and Christmas eve dates. Several girls ask Victor out for Christmas dates, but he turns them down. Many stores are advertising _kurimasu keeki_, Christmas cakes. Victor stops in front of one shop featuring a cutesy strawberry shortcake, with the strawberries cut like Santa hats. He stares at it for a while, then walks home alone. Yuri constantly has his nose in a book, reviewing intensely for the next round of exams. He’s barely said anything to Victor all week.

The next day after class, Victor goes to the clubroom. He finds Yuri asleep on a chemistry book.

“Yuri. Yuri!” cries Victor. “Take a break. Your brain is gonna explode from so much studying.”

Yuri stirs, then grabs a highlighter, mumbling,

“Mmmm, can’t. Don’t want to lose my scholarship.” Yuri rubs his eyes, and yawns. “Victor, do you have a date on Monday?”

Victor shakes his head,

“Nope. Why?”

“Come to Yutopia. I have something special planned!” promises Yuri, then he opens a history book.

“Mmm. Sure,” answers Victor.

Victor opens a notebook as well, distractedly reviewing the material. He checks a calendar, and sees that Monday is the 24th. Does Victor have a Christmas date with Yuri? No, Yuri just invited him to his family’s inn, not a dinner restaurant. Should Victor buy Yuri a present? Guys often get their dates a piece of jewelry, but a friend wouldn’t do that. Victor sighs. Well, at least he can tell the next girl who asks him out that he already has plans.

The evening of the 24th, Victor and Yuri ride the train to Hasetsu, then walk over to Yutopia, their boots crunching in the snow.

Yuri’s mother greets them with a warm smile,

“Yuri! Welcome home… where’s Yuko-chan?”

“I dunno, we haven’t talked lately. You remember Victor Nikiforov, my friend.”

Hiroko seems a little surprised, but she says,

“Good evening, Nikiforov-san. Yuri, shovel the front walk, we don’t want our clients trudging through the snow to get to our inn.”

Victor feels useless, sitting around, waiting for Yuri to be done. Yuri finally comes back in, his cheeks pink with the cold, apologizing,

“Sorry about that! But I owe my mom for helping me out with my surprise.”

Yuri takes off his boots and jacket, and motions for Victor to follow him. Yuri opens the sliding doors to a side room, and Victor freezes. There’s a low table on a tatami mat covered with a red tablecloth. Red and white streamers have been taped along the ceiling, and the room is illuminated with candlelight. There are two bowls of katsudon, and a small white cake with strawberries on top. Yuri grins, and plops down on one of the cushions. Victor feels like he can’t breathe, and holds on to the edge of the door.

“Come on! Sit down, our food is getting cold,” encourages Yuri. Victor is still standing, stunned. This is a date! A romantic Christmas date! Why is Yuri so relaxed? Yuri finally registers Victor’s odd demeanor, and asks,

“Are you okay?”

“Yuri… Isn’t Christmas eve a time for lovers? I mean… dates, romantic dates…” babbles Victor. Yuri laughs, and replies,

“Oh, sorry! I told my mom to prepare this special dinner. She didn’t know I was inviting a guy! Anyway – I know it’s a day early – happy birthday!”

Yuri hands him a small wrapped package. Victor opens it in a daze, revealing a small gold embroidered cloth with an amulet inside.

“An _omamori_ for good health?” asks Victor, still stunned. Yuri shrugs, and replies,

“You’re rich! All you really need is good luck.”

Victor forces a small smile, then eats the dish of pork with eggs and rice. He feels stupid for thinking this was a date. Yuri doesn’t regard Victor as anything other than a friend.

“Yuri, do you think gay guys go out on Christmas dates?”

Yuri seems completely puzzled by the question. He finally answers,

“I don’t think so. There aren’t really any gay people in Japan.”

“Huh? Aren’t there gay people everywhere?” asks Victor, stunned by Yuri’s reaction. Yuri shakes his head, and explains,

“Oh. I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve never seen any. Maybe there’s a few, and they stay hidden? I mean no one wants to be the nail that sticks out, and gets hammered down.”

Victor nods, and picks at his food, having lost his appetite.

Yuri is disappointed that his birthday surprise seems to have depressed Victor. Maybe birthdays have bad memories for him. That night, they get ready for bed. Victor insists,

“I’d like my own futon.”

“You’ll be warmer sharing my bed...” Yuri points out, disappointed.

“No thanks. There’s no room for me with that giant rodent.”

“Bun-bun can sleep on the chair,” protests Yuri, but Victor grumbles something. Later, Yuri looks down Victor sleeping on the floor beside his bed. It feels lonely all alone in the bed, he misses having Victor beside him. Yuri reaches down with his hand, till he feels Victor’s arm. He falls asleep, halfway off the bed. The next morning, Yuri falls on top of Victor, their foreheads bashing against each other.

“Ow!”

“OUCH!”

Yuri smiles as he wakes up, the the warmth of the body beneath him feels good. But Victor scowls at him, then quickly disengages himself and disappears in the bathroom.

For the next few days, Yuri watches Victor be quiet, and uninterested in everything. Yuri tries to cheer him up, and forces him to go to a nearby temple for New Year’s Eve. He buys some hot tea, and they stand in line to ring the giant bell with a large log. Then they go back, and Yuri rifles through his poetry books, wanting to write out a poem in calligraphy. Yuri is still deciding, when he notices that Victor has already written out a haiku by Basho:

_Winter solitude –_  
in a world of one color  
the sound of wind.

Yuri sighs. Victor is definitely depressed, and Yuri has no idea what to do about it.

Things stay the same when they go back to school. Yuri can see something is still bothering Victor, so he corners him in the clubroom. Victor glances around, and says while looking downcast,

“I should leave, you probably have homework or studying to do, or something…”

Yuri shakes his head.

“Victor, wait. I know we haven’t been friends for long, but I’m here for you. Even if things are difficult,” begins Yuri earnestly.

“Yeah… but, this isn’t something fixable…”

“I’ll be there even if you’re too sick to move, and dying!” insists Yuri fervently. Victor seems nonplussed at this outburst.

“Oh. I’m not… ill that way,” corrects Victor awkwardly.

“Oh. Sorry, I sort of hoped we’re… friends. Best friends. Maybe you could trust me.”

Victor shakes his head.

“If I tell you what’s going on, you’ll definitely stop being my friend.”

“Try me.”

Yuri stares at him insistently, til Victor hides his head in his hand.

There’s a silence, then Victor walks over to his door, and locks it. Next he goes over next the window. He takes a deep breath.

“I’ve kissed a lot of girls. Sometimes it’s boring, sometimes it’s a little bit… exciting. A few times… I went all the way. But I was always in my head, not able to… I don’t know how to say it. But that time we kissed, I felt I was close to… losing control.”

Yuri tilts his head, trying to understand.

“So when you had sex with girls… you didn’t… ejaculate?” questions Yuri.

“No. Well, not when I was… inside. Once girl did something with her hand…” Victor hides his face in his hand in embarrassment.

“But you used condoms, right? Don’t those feel bad? It’s like you put your _O-chinchin_ in a balloon.”

O-chinchin? Victor decides to ignore the fact that Yuri used the word ‘Honorable Peepee’.

“Yes, but Yuri… I get so horny! And I need sex…” pleads Victor.

“I get it,” declares Yuri. Then swallows uncomfortably.

“You do? What do you mean…?” asks Victor nervously twirling a long piece of hair around his fingers.

“It’s stress! I totally get it! I mean it’s nerve-racking being near girls, of course you get too nervous to… But with a friend, you relaxed…”

Victor looks at Yuri in disbelief.

“You think I’m stressed,” repeats Victor, grasping for more to say.

“I’m your friend. Whatever… you’re going through, I’ll help anyway I can.”

Victor shakes his head.

“You can’t mean that. Especially when what I want is… not natural…”

Yuri pulls Victor away from the window, and holds Victor’s hands.

“Kissing seems pretty natural to me…”

Victor watches in disbelief as Yuri lifts himself on his tip toes, and presses his mouth on Victor’s. Yuri tries some movements with his lips. Victor resists for a moment, then deepens the kiss. He pushes close and they bump noses. He stops, feeling awkward as sexual need overcomes him. Yuri takes a shaky breath, then pulls him onto the couch. Victor doesn’t have the nerve to let his hands wander, but he closes his eyes and lets himself feel the body half under him. The chest, the legs, and the... O-chinchin. An erect O-chinchin. Whoa. After several minutes, Victor leaves the clubroom with his lips raw, and hiding an embarrassing wet spot in his pants with his school bag.

The next day, Victor waits nervously in the clubroom after school. Is Yuri going to avoid him? Yuri runs in, and blurts out,

“Uh, can we...?”

Victor nods vigorously, and sits on the couch. Yuri sits next to him, they both go in and bang teeth. Victor rubs his lips, then takes over, hungrily kissing til he feels flushed. They make out for hours, til Yuri freaks at how late it is and runs off. Victor sits alone in the dark room for a long time, trying to process what is happening.

The following day, Victor waits nervously in the clubroom again. Yuri walks in and puts his arm out to keep Victor away. Then Yuri says,

“Um, Victor... Is it weird that I want to... practice… with you?”

Oh, boy. Victor struggles for words. Is Yuri feeling like he does?

“Practice?” repeats Victor hoarsely, unable to say anything else.

“For Yuko. It wasn’t good with her, ‘coz I suck at kissing!”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to...” adds Yuri hurriedly.

“F... Fine. We’ll practice,” Victor says, disappointed. Then Yuri nods. They stands silently for a while, then go sit on the couch. Victor sits, conflicted. But once Yuri kisses him... Victor pushes his feelings aside, and gives in to the need.

All week they make out in the clubroom, til Yuri complains,

“I had to stay up past midnight to finish my homework!” Yuri wags his finger at Victor. “New rule. We must finish our homework before doing anything else. Redo your calligraphy, it’s sloppy.”

Victor retorts exasperated,

“Really Yuri, I don’t care if I’m top of the class…”

“Well, I care. I need to maintain my grades, and I won’t be responsible for your grades slipping.”

Victor finishes his page of kanji, then turns it over to Yuri, asking,

“Acceptable?”

“I’d like to see more flow…” critiques Yuri, teasing a bit. Victor responds by touching Yuri’s ear, which is turning bright red. “Sometimes your strokes…” Yuri is unable to finish, and muffles a moan. Victor feels gratified. Yuri talks of Yuko, but it’s Victor’s touch causing Yuri to blush at every turn. Victor feels emboldened to say,

“Let me stroke something else, maybe you’ll stop complaining…”

Yuri gulps and whispers,

“Our midterm exams are coming up. Show me your first-place score, and you can…”

“What if you come in first?” whispers Victor.

“I’ll think of something I want,” promises Yuri, his whole face blushing red. Victor grabs his notebook and scribbles in Russian ‘_So cute!!_’


	7. February Cold Snap

On Valentine’s Day, Victor opens up his shoe locker to find it stuffed with cookies, chocolates and cards. Victor groans. What’s he supposed to do with all this stuff? Irritated, he’s about to dump the whole lot into the nearest trash can, then he stops. He checks every tag for names, and throws those away first. Then he double checks the ones that aren’t signed, to see if he recognizes the handwriting. None of it looks familiar, and disgusted with himself, he throws the rest in the garbage.

Meanwhile, Yuri receives a small package of homemade chocolates with a poem that reads:

_I do not think_

_A friend will meet me_

_With compassion –_

_By my own folly_

_I will die unloved._

Yuri stares at it, wondering if it comes from Yuko. They rarely talk anymore. But maybe it’s good for them to take a break. Yuri needs to grow up, before he settles down. The next few weeks, more poems show up, but Yuri crumples them without reading them.

The next morning, Yuri prepares to dive into the pool, but he waits, seeing Victor show up late. Yuri straightens up, and calls out cockily,

“Let’s race again, I’m going to win!”

Victor adjusts his goggles, and rotates his shoulders.

“Not happening. I’m in top form,” replies Victor competitively. They both bend their knees, touching the board with their hands, preparing to dive into the water. Victor says, “1, 2, 3 … Go.”

“Fellatio!” yells Yuri. Victor startles for a moment, as Yuri splashes into the water. Victor quickly dives, and chases after Yuri. He almost catches up, as Yuri reaches the edge a split second before Victor.

“I won!” exults Yuri with a grin. Victor gives him a dirty look, then continues his morning laps. Afterwards in the locker room, Yuri ties his own necktie, and waits for Victor. Victor removes his swim cap, and lets his hair down. Somehow the sight makes Yuri’s mouth go dry. Yuri covers his discomfort by pointing to his neck and exclaiming,

“Look, I did it perfectly!”

Victor gets right up next to him, and undoes the tie with one hand.

“You cheated this morning. Do you know what fellatio means?” demands Victor. Victor grabs Yuri’s necktie, and Yuri panics, thinking Victor is going to kiss him in the locker room.

“I...uh... hum... it’s Latin for... you know...”

Victor reties it, and Yuri gulps at being so near Victor, wishing they were somewhere private.

Yuri spends the weekend at Victor’s house, since Victor’s father is out of town. Yuri is finishing his homework like usual, while Victor is pacing like a caged animal.

“What’s… What’s wrong?” asks Yuri. Victor throws his arms into the air, and confesses,

“You’re a nice person. And I’m taking advantage of you… maybe I need professional help.”

“Oh, you mean a psychologist?” checks Yuri in dismay. Victor shakes his head.

“No, a prostitute. I mean, high school girls don’t really know what they’re doing…”

Yuri bites his lip.

“But Victor… this… this helps me too…” whispers Yuri desperately. Victor walks over and looks directly into Yuri’s eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” assures Yuri nervously. “When I marry, I want my wife to be satisfied with me. How else do I practice?”

Victor sits on the bed, slumped with indecision. Yuri feels like he should give Victor a hug, but instead, he throws a pillow at Victor. Victor picks up another pillow, and they whack at each other for several minutes. Victor gives a devious smile, and tickles Yuri’s feet. Yuri shrugs like he barely feels it, taunting Victor,

“I have a big sister, I’ve taught myself to be tickle proof.”

Victor tries to tickle Yuri’s arm, then his back. Then he tickles Yuri’s neck, and the other boys shudders uncontrollably.

“Aha! I found your weak spot!” exclaims Victor. Victor pins Yuri’s arms to the mattress triumphantly. They stay that way for several long seconds, till Victor loosens his grip, and Yuri pulls him down for a kiss. They kiss for a while, then awkwardly stop, and get ready for bed.

They lie in bed, motionless and silent in the darkness. Eventually, Victor gets up the nerve to say,

“I got top scores on the exams…”

Yuri turns towards him beaming, and responds,

“I know. I used to get mad when you beat me, now it makes me happy.” Yuri swallows uncomfortably, and adds, “Uh, do you want me to… touch you with my hand?”

“No. I want you to let me… touch you.”

“What? Why?” squeaks Yuri.

“Payback,” announces Victor.

Yuri frowns, not understanding. Victor places his hand underneath the blanket, and feels his way to Yuri’s elastic pajama bottoms. Yuri lies there rigidly, with his eyes closed. Finally, Victor reaches into his pants. It feels odd to have an unfamiliar hand on his penis. Victor’s hand is larger with longer fingers. And Victor’s motions have no rhythm to it. Slow, fast, medium, the pace keeps changing for no apparent reason. Still… the feeling is unbelievable. Before he knows it, he is gasping and ejaculating. Then he’s horrified at having made a mess. But Victor simply reaches for a tissue. Yuri realizes that’s probably why the tissues are there. Yuri takes a deep breath, tries to mimic Victor’s self-confidence, and reaches towards Victor’s torso. But Victor is to his right, and his arm is contorted in a weird way.

“I can’t reach… Can we switch sides?”

They fumble with the blanket, and Yuri steps on Victor as they trade places. Yuri feels like a klutz. They both lie down under the blanket again, and Yuri fidgets, deciding whether to sit or to lie on his side.

“You don’t have to do it, I can do it myself. Not right now, some other time,” says Victor, trying to reassure Yuri. But Yuri feels determined, and he reaches under the blanket quickly, wrapping his hand around Victor’s member.

Victor’s eyes grow wide. Yuri’s hand is like a grip of death, pounding his dick. Victor flinches.

“Release your hand a bit, it’s too tight,” pleads Victor. Yuri winces at the critique, and loosens his grip. Yuri’s hand is small compared to his own, and he goes up and down like a piston. Victor lasts barely a minute, then they lie silently next to each other, not knowing what to say.

Yuri goes home the next day, and tries to process what happened. Several times he picks up his phone to call Victor, then puts it back down. Then the phone rings, and Yuri answers,

“_Moshi, moshi._”

“Yuri, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten you involved with my needs, we’ll stop right away! I don’t want to lose you as my friend…”

“It’s okay, okay. I’ve been thinking... Isn’t this better than bothering girls? We don’t have to worry about being pigs, or getting girls pregnant. Unless... you’re too weirded out?”

“Uh, no. I’m fine. I thought you’d be upset, that you’d think I’m… well, never mind.”

On Monday, Victor and Yuri are sitting at the clubroom table, finishing up homework. Victor occasionally lets his hand wander to Yuri’s leg, while Yuri slaps it away.

“I can’t focus when you do that!” berates Yuri. “I’m almost done, what about you?”

“I have to fill out a form explaining what I’m going to do for my future…” bemoans Victor. Yuri nods understanding.

“I’d like to study literature at a university, but then what? Do I become a teacher…?”

“Sure! You’re great at bossing me around!” advises Victor teasingly. Yuri gives a mean look to Victor, then quickly jots his plan down.

“What are you going to do?” asks Yuri. Victor hesitates, then admits,

“I’d like to be a writer…”

“Perfect! We could be in the same department, me reading and you writing.”

Victor doodles in his notebook distractedly. Ugh, he actually needs to study because he’s having trouble focusing in class. Maybe he shouldn’t sit next to Yuri in class. Or be in the same class. Or attend the same school. Victor sighs, then sees the whole page is covered in:

юрий юрий юрий юрий юрий юрий юрий юрий юрий …

Yuri’s name in Russian. Victor blushes, tears the page out and tosses it in the trash.

**March - Spring**

The weeks go by, and Victor feels strangely blissful. In public, Victor and Yuri act as friends, while in private they are constantly touching each other, usually ending in hot kissing sessions. Victor sits in class, cradling his head in his hand. He yawns. He tossed and turned all night wondering how to tell Yuri important news. It’s Friday and the day is unusually warm. There are little buds covering the bare branches of the cherry tree outside. At lunch, Yuri decides they should eat on the roof. Victor observes Yuri closely, wondering what is going on under that glossy dark hair. Meanwhile, Yuri takes his chopsticks and feeds Victor a tidbit, in an intimate way Victor has seen Japanese couples do. He closes his eyes, the gesture makes him feel good. Victor yawns again in fatigue. Yuri pats his lap and Victor lays his head down, soothed by the warmth of the body under his head, he falls asleep, not having said anything.

The next day, Yuri arrives unusually early at school, stops by his locker. The locker is full of notes. Each one says something nasty. Horrible slurs, about being homosexual, about being with a foreigner, about not being a proper man. There is a photo of Yuri caressing Victor’s hair as he sleeps with his head in his lap, with horrible red scribbles on top. Yuri quickly cleans out the locker, and heads to class. Everywhere he goes, there are stares and snickers. Guys shove him in the hallway, and Yuri begins to avoid the main bathrooms. Thankfully, Victor doesn’t show up to school, so he’s all right.

Day after day, the bullying gets worse. Yuri no longer wants to go to school, and Victor isn’t answering his phone. Yuri wonders how he’s going to endure the situation.

With only a few days til the end of the school year, Yuri gets a written note in his locker to meet on the rooftop. It’s signed with a V. Yuri hesitates. With all the bullying, he should probably avoid spending time with Victor on school grounds. But Yuri hasn’t seen or heard from Victor since the rooftop time, so Yuri hurries up the steps to the roof access door. The door opens, and Yuko comes out. Yuri blurts out,

“Hi! I’m waiting for Victor…”

Yuko replies,

“I figured, so I followed you. I suppose you’ve heard the rumors about the two of you…”

Yuri frowns, and asks,

“Of course, but it’s... it’s just a misunderstanding.”

Yuko bows her head, and shrugs uncomfortably.

“Yuri… There’s something I need to ask you.”

“Okay.”

“Do you like me? You said you wanted to get married and have a family… with me?”

Yuri is not sure what to say. That doesn’t feel right, not right now.

“Uh... I wouldn’t get married til after college…”

“That would be good. We’ll date for now... unless there’s another girl you have feelings for…?”

“No... there’s no other girl…”

Yuko gives a sigh of relief.

“It’s settled then.”

She comes close, then hesitates. Yuri is about to step back, when she throws her arms around him, and gives him a big kiss. Yuri stands there, trying not to recoil. All that practice seems to have done nothing to help him with Yuko. In fact, the contact with her makes him feel worse. Yuko suddenly withdraws, suddenly looking embarrassed by her actions. Yuri looks over to the doorway and sees that Victor is staring at them. The moment seems to last forever. Yuko frowns at Victor, and finally says awkwardly,

“Let’s walk home together after school. Hopefully, that will squash the rumors. Later.”

Yuri tries to think of what to say, but Victor leaves without saying a word.

Yuri spends the rest of the day in shock. He can’t quite describe the maelstrom of feelings swirling around his body. He and Yuko are dating. And that’s what he always wanted. Right? The whole evening he stares at his phone, wanting to talk to Victor, but not wanting to tell Victor about it either. Everything just feels wrong.

The next morning, Yuri finds a note in his shoe cubby.

_Dear Yuri,_

_We should forget about everything that happened between us, and go create our futures. Yuko has feelings for you, and she can make all your dreams come true._

_Victor_

Yuri crumples the note, and throws it away. Yuri spends the entire day searching for Victor. Victor doesn’t show up at school. Yuri waits a few days, then calls Victor’s phone. The line is no longer in service. Panicked, Yuri runs all the way to the Nikiforov mansion. There’s a moving van, and men wearing the uniform of a moving company carrying boxes out of the place.

“Is the family at home?” Yuri asks one of the workers.

“Nope. Heard they’re already in London.”

London? Victor had never said anything about moving to England. Depressed, Yuri walks slowly home.

After that, Yuri goes through the motions of daily life. Yuko does her utmost to protect him at school, while trying to cheer him up. Eventually, Yuri puts the whole thing with Victor behind him, and focuses on studying. One day at school, he throws his shoulders back, and heads to Yuko’s cubby. She walks around the corner, then slams into Yuri.

“Yuri? What are…” begins Yuko, but Yuri motions for her to follow him. He goes into an empty classroom and declares,

“Thanks for all you’ve done. I’m… I’m going to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had!”

Yuko nods, and follows Yuri to class.


	8. September Harvest

**Autumn – 10 years later**

Yuri sits at the Sheremetyevo International Airport slumped in an uncomfortable plastic seat. After several days at a the Moscow International Book Fair, he hasn’t managed to find one promising novel for his publishing company. Several college students had given him their manuscripts with hopeful looks, but so far none of them are good. How can his boss expect him to find new talent in Russia in just a few days? Yuri opens his laptop, clicks on the advertisement for the book fair, and stares at a photo advertising Victor’s reading of his latest book. Yuri had shown up to the event, nervous and full of anticipation, only to be told that Nikiforov’s plane had been delayed for technical reasons. Well, that’s probably for the best. Victor had never tried to contact him again – maybe he was mortified that he fooled around with another boy in his youth. Yuri groans at his own thoughts. After all this time, he should forget about what happened in high school. After all, Victor has completely forgotten about Yuri.

Yuri sticks another flash drive into his computer, and begins reading another bleak crappy novel.

“Yuri?” says a familiar voice. Yuri looks up, and rubs his eyes. He’s so stressed and tired he’s having hallucinations. It sounds like Victor. A blond haired man with an expensive suit and stylish overcoat is grinning at him.

“Victor?”

Yuri stands up so quickly, his laptop slams to the ground. Shaken, he drops to the floor, fumbling to retrieve the laptop. The man helps by opening Yuri’s bag, while Yuri places his computer in it.

“I’m flying back to St. Petersburg, do you have time for a drink?” asks the hallucination. Yuri nods to him in shock, taking in the wider chest, short blond hair, and mature adult demeanor.

“It is you. Um…” Yuri checks his phone for the time. “I have an hour…”

Victor grabs Yuri’s roller bag, and they walk to the nearest café. Victor orders coffees in Russian, then says excitedly,

“Yuri! Tell me everything! Yuko must have… at least one kid by now…”

“She has three girls, triplets, age 5,” replies Yuri, staring at Victor’s face.

“You have three daughters!” repeats Victor with astonishment. Yuri shakes his head.

“Yuko-chan married someone else. I don’t have any children,” corrects Yuri. Victor looks confused.

“But you’re married…” insists Victor, pointing to a plain band on Yuri’s finger. Yuri winces uncomfortably and admits,

“That’s meaningless. I wear it to discourage my coworkers from asking me out.”

Victor looks surprised, then asks,

“Why are you traveling in Russia?”

“I work for a publishing company in Tokyo. I was scouting new authors at the recent book festival in Moscow. I haven’t had much luck – I’m dreading telling my boss this expensive trip was for nothing.”

“Then you know I’m an author now,” remarks Victor. Yuri nods.

“_A mesmerizing wordsmith, a talent for the ages,_” quotes Yuri without thinking. Victor grins, recognizing the jacket blurb from his latest book, and asks,

“Which authors are you into? Besides Murakami...”

“Yama Momo. No one knows her yet! I’m obsessed with her bare bone descriptions of the streets of Tokyo...”

Yuri lights up, completely enthralled by the topic of his newly discovered writer. He and Victor chat easily, til Yuri reluctantly checks the time.

“You need to catch your flight,” asserts Victor sliding him a business card. “Contact me. Maybe I can help you find fresh talent.”

Victor checks his phone, then removes a speck of dust from his jacket. He gets up to leave, and Yuri stands up as well. Yuri holds out his hand to shake politely, but Victor pulls him in for a hug. Victor feels bigger, more solid, and smells good, sweet and musky. Yuri feels his mouth go dry and his mind go blank. Victor gives him a quick smile, then is gone.

Yuri flies back to Tokyo, then takes the train home. He didn’t tell Victor that he’s been dating someone… a guy. He’s been on a few dates with an Australian named Josh.. Victor didn’t say anything about being in a relationship. Yuri whispers,

“Hey Victor, long time no see! Are you gay? Sure seemed like it in high school…”

The man holding a strap next to him, frowns and turns away from him. Yuri can’t believe he’s talked to Victor again!

Monday morning at Moriyama Publishing, Yuri walks in to his first meeting of the day with the department head and several editors. They each talk about various projects, til his boss, Suzuki, looks in his direction.

“Katsuki-san, what Russian talents have you to tell us about?”

Yuri shuffles some papers, and says,

“I’m currently reading several novels that I’m considering, but of course they’re from newer talent of more obscure background and…”

Kitamura, an editor slightly more senior than Yuri, interrupts him,

“In other words you have nothing. Did you at least get laid?”

Irritated by the brash man, Yuri pulls out Victor’s business card and retorts,

“I’m still following leads. The famous author, Victor Nikiforov, promised he’d help me.”

Suzuki shakes his head in irritation, then adjourns the meeting. Yuri is still seated at the table, wondering if it’s too soon to contact Victor, when Kitamura picks up the business card.

“You know, Katsuki-kun, I’ve heard rumors that Nikiforov is fond of men…” insinuates Kitamura. Yuri shrugs, and reaches for the business card. But Kitamura holds it back.

“May I have the card back?” Yuri pauses. “Please.”

Kitamura is examining the back of the card.

“It says ‘_Call me_’ and there’s a phone number…” reads Kitamura. Yuri frowns, and snatches the card from the other man’s hand. Yuri looks at the loopy writing, and his heart begins to pound. When did Victor write that?

For the rest of the morning, Yuri busies himself filling out various forms and reports. He keeps glancing over at his phone like it’s going to explode. Finally, towards the end of the day, he shakily calls the phone number jotted on the back of the card.

_-Hi! You’ve reached Victor’s phone, if you’d like to leave me a poetic message, I’m all ears. Beep._

Yuri loses his nerve and hangs up. His phone rings, and Yuri drops it. He quickly picks it up,

“Katsuki Yuri, at your service,” answers Yuri. Yuri hears a deep chuckle.

“Yuri-chan, would you like to go out tonight?” says a familiar Australian voice. Yuri smacks his head with his hand, and replies,

“Josh. I’m exhausted from the Russia trip. I’d prefer to go straight home.”

“Okay, okay. But if you get lonely, call me,” reminds Josh.

“Oh. I’m sorry, can we talk later? I need to call an important author,” explains Yuri apologetically.

“Sure, but I’d like to see you again. Come to dinner on Friday. Bye-bye!”

Yuri dials Josh back, right as the phone rings again, and Yuri warns,

“Remember I’m on a diet, I need to lose weight!”

“Really? But I’ve always been rather partial to your cute pudginess,” says Victor’s voice. Yuri closes his eyes in embarrassment. Yuri gently smacks himself a second time, and says,

“Victor. Hello. Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Is that so? I have a daring idea. I could fly out on Friday to Tokyo to discuss it with you. Interested?”

“Definitely. I’m all yours. I mean, I’m free anytime, Friday or any other day,” babbles Yuri. Victor chuckles.

“Friday then.”

Yuri gapes at his phone with anxious anticipation. Friday. Oh no, isn’t he’s supposed to meet Josh on Friday? Feeling like a coward, Yuri cancels his date with Josh by email.

Tuesday night, Yuri is at home still working, and checks his calendar again. Three more days till his meeting on Friday. Yuri stares at his corkboard, where he has pinned various magazine clippings of Victor. He’s always wanted to meet Victor again, but wasn’t expecting to find him so… so attractive! Much better looking in person than in a photograph. This is bad. Even though it’s a business meeting, he’s nervous – like it’s a date. Yuri chides himself,

“Get a grip! It’s just dinner.”

By the time Friday evening rolls around, Yuri has tried on each of his suits and he’s brushed his hair so many times his scalp is getting raw. Yuri finally picks a random suit, and hurries out the door, now late. Victor is already sitting at a table in the hotel restaurant, wearing an elegant gray suit. Wow. The man is stunning. Yuri avoids staring at the man opposite him by burying his head in the menu.

“Do you need your glasses? I’m surprised you can see the menu that close,” remarks Victor. Yuri jerks up, startled. He takes a breath, trying to calm down. He fumbles for his glasses, puts on his frames, then hoping to sound professional, says,

“Uh, no, I’m nearsighted... You mentioned a daring idea, what did you have in mind?”

Victor nods, sighs, then explains,

“I’m dissatisfied with the contract I signed years ago with my publisher. Not only are they taking a ridiculous amount of the profits, but I don’t have control over the cover art or even the titles of my books. I’ve checked with several lawyers, and I can publish with someone else, but not under my own name.”

Victor hands him a jump drive, and continues,

“I wrote something a little different from my previous works, but I wasn’t sure if a publisher would take it on with a pseudonym. The publisher couldn’t use my name, and I wouldn’t be able to make the public appearances that usually accompany a new book.”

Yuri picks up the USB drive, intrigued. He replies,

“I need to read it first. I didn’t bring my laptop.”

“Mine is in my hotel room a few floors down. We’ll go there after dinner,” decides Victor.

Yuri takes a few bites of his steak, but his nerves make him unable to eat more. A novel by Victor! Such an opportunity would be amazing… Unfortunately, Yuri can’t take his eyes off of Victor. The way he delicately puts down his knife after cutting a bite, the way his short hair now exposes his neck…

“What are you daydreaming about?” interrupts Victor. Yuri looks down sheepishly.

“There was something magical about our time in high school, wasn’t there? But most adults romanticize their youths,” muses Yuri. Victor tilts his head and disagrees,

“Not me.”

“Oh,” replies Yuri a bit disappointed. Then he asks, “Did you hate high school?”

“Generally. Except for meeting you. Your friendship meant a lot.”

Feeling relieved, Yuri admits,

“It meant a lot to me too… I am who I am because of you.”

“An editor?”

Yuri hesitates, then agrees,

“Yes, an editor of foreign literature. I would have... taught Japanese literature.”

Yuri bites his lip, figuring what he said is true. But more importantly, he’d probably be married to a woman.

“So you’re happy?” Victor asks quietly. Yuri nods and replies,

“Yes. Yuko-chan says I work too much, I don’t have much of a life, but… I love my job.”

Victor reaches over and squeezes Yuri’s hand. He says earnestly,

“I’m relieved – a weight has been removed from my heart.”

Victor lets go, and continues his meal. Yuri regards the touch with surprise. Victor would’ve never touched him in public in high school…

“This fish is delicious!” adds Victor enthusiastically.

After dinner, they take an elevator down, and Yuri walks the hallway, biting on a fingernail. Is he really going to Victor’s room at night? Is Victor going to make a pass at him? How ridiculous, this is still a professional meeting. Victor opens a door, Yuri hesitates, then walks in. Victor opens his laptop, and loads the document. Yuri sits at the desk and begins to read it. Yuri quickly loses himself into the story, and ignores Victor pacing nearby. Victor waits a few more minutes, then pulls the laptop away from Yuri, and sits on the desk.

“Well?” demands Victor.

“I’m not done,” complains Yuri. Victor gives him a frustrated glance. Yuri finally sees the insecurity in Victor’s eyes. “I need a moment to find the words…”

“Just tell me if it’s good or bad,” insists Victor. Yuri closes his eyes and expresses,

“It’s raw, and awkward, and I just can’t stop reading it. Two teenage boys going through a rough time, one dealing with an alcoholic father, the other bullied for being soft and musical... Are they going to become friends?”

“That’s the idea. The boys don’t fit in Japanese society, and deal with rejection.”

“It could have been clichéd, but you write so beautifully… I love what I’ve read so far,” admits Yuri. Victor sighs in relief.

“I hoped you would…” Victor locks eyes with Yuri. “Would your company publish it?”

Yuri’s gaze drops to Victor’s lips. Very moist lips. Yuri re-focuses on the laptop, and replies,

“Uh, I will do my utmost to have it published. What pen name did you want to use?”

“I’m playing with Evan Norton. Or Nicolas Vasin. What do you think?”

“Could we get away with Ivan Nichols? It would be shelved near Nikiforov…” suggests Yuri. Victor grins and agrees,

“Yes. I like the name, and the way you think.”

Monday morning, Yuri immediately goes to see his supervisor, Suzuki. The man appears in a bad mood, and grumbles,

“Katsuki-san, this proposal better be good! I’m getting my ass chewed by the big boss about your Russia trip.”

“Yes, about that… What if I said that Victor Nikiforov is working on a novel, but we couldn’t publish it under his name?”

Suzuki looks at him with calculating eyes.

“Nikiforov has a contract… probably one difficult to break. Is the new novel any good?”

Yuri nods, but prevaricates,

“The writing is exquisite, but the topic is… a little bleak. Teenagers dealing with dark emotions…”

Suzuki groans.

“Crap! We get a chance at a top novelist, and it has to be about that? Those books aren’t usually bestsellers, unless they win an award,” grumbles Suzuki. “Maybe one of the boys could get laid, sex up the story.”

Yuri shifts in discomfort, not wanting to interfere with Victor’s creative vision. Then he offers,

“I could ask the author if there is a... sexual awakening…?”

“Yeah, get on that! I’ll talk to our legal team. What happens if someone leaks who the real author is?”

Yuri nods, relieved his boss is on board, yet worried. Leaking the author’s real name could lead to a legal troubles for Victor.

Feeling guilty about canceling Friday, Yuri meets Josh at a café. Yuri doesn’t want to talk about Victor, and ends up sitting there in silence After a few minutes, Yuri wishes he was elsewhere. Josh grills him,

“Yuri-chan, what’s going on? Is it work? Is it me? Have I done something wrong? I just wish you’d talk to me…”

“Um... I know we’ve only gone out a short time, but this is still going too fast for me… ”

“No problem. We’ll go as slow as you like, especially since you haven’t had much experience. How are things at work?”

“Okay. I’m working with a new author and, it’s a big deal with my company. And there are legal issues I’ve never dealt with before…” offers Yuri apologetically, unable to talk of anything else. Josh listens attentively. Josh is really handsome, and has a big teddy bear feel about him. Yuri should at least attempt to make this work.


	9. Stormy Weather

Monday morning, Victor signs a contract with Moriyama Publishing. Suzuki pulls Yuri aside, and says threateningly,

“Keep Nikiforov-san happy. I expect the first chapter on my desk very soon.”

Yuri gives a quick bow, and returns to his desk. Victor follows Yuri and says,

“Yuri, help me find an apartment…”

Yuri turns to him baffled and asks,

“Don’t you have an apartment in Saint Petersburg? Why don’t you write there?”

Victor leans on Yuri’s desk, and explains,

“My novel happens in Tokyo, between Japanese high school students. I need the right creative environment, and therefore an apartment in Tokyo.”

Yuri grimaces at the piles of paperwork he needs to get done. Meanwhile a young woman interrupts,

“Excuse me, Nikiforov-san, you’re the best novelist of all time! I’ve read all your works... Would you autograph this book?”

“Of course,” he replies, flashing a big grin and opening the front cover. “To whom?”

“Watanabe Hana. Thank you! And... are you available for dinner?”

“You’re very pretty, but unfortunately, there’s someone special who’d frown at that!”

The woman blushes and bows, hugging the book. Yuri grumbles,

“Some things never change.”

Victor shrugs.

“The price of fame.”

“More like the price of gorgeousness,” retorts Yuri.

“I’m gorgeous?”

Oops. Yuri hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He ignores the question, pushes his paperwork aside, and makes phone calls about apartments. Victor muses out loud,

“I just need something small, with two bedrooms, and an office, and lots of light… maybe a penthouse?”

Yuri frowns a little bit, clicking on his laptop. Then he announces,

“An agent will show us some places nearby.”

They go out in the rain, a quiet woman named Jun Tamako shows them the first apartment. Yuri tries to sell Victor on it, to make things go quickly,

“This one is really close to Moriyama Publishing. There’s only one bedroom, but it’s furnished, you could move the desk next to the window here… And it’s all very modern, in good condition. What do you think?”

“Do you live nearby?” asks Victor, looking at the gray clouds through the window covered with rain drops.

“Yes. That depressing piece of concrete over there. I have a studio with walls so thin I can hear the roaches arguing.”

“You live there alone?” inquires Victor.

“Yes. But the place is so tiny, I wish I could afford something bigger,” Yuri replies wistfully.

“I love large spaces, this place is too small,” declares Victor, and they leave to visit the next apartment.

The real estate agent drives them to the next location, and Victor asks in English,

“Are you seeing anyone?”

Yuri glances at the agent, then responds,

“Uh... yes.”

“Who?”

“Um, an English teacher at a college. From Australia.”

Victor nods, and looks around the large apartment they are visiting. Yuri frowns at the floor, there’s an ugly mosaic design. Victor declares,

“This one doesn’t have a garden, it would be nice to see some greenery…” Victor checks his cell phone. “Andrew... 7 missed calls.”

He turns off the phone.

The next apartment does have access to a rooftop garden, and the view is amazing, even through the gray clouds. Victor nods with pleasure, but Yuri blanches when he hears the rent amount. Victor muses aloud,

“I’m used to living in very modern decors, so a change would be nice. Maybe a place that’s a bit more European, baroque?”

The real estate agent bows, and searches again on her phone. Yuri looks at Victor with an tired expression.

“Why am I here? Surely you can waste this woman’s time on your own…”

Victor waves airily in his direction.

“Don’t you have any questions for me? You used to be fascinated by my love life,” needles Victor. Yuri shakes his head, tongue-tied. Still he can’t help wondering... who is Andrew? Why isn’t Victor returning his calls?

Victor continues with an impish grin,

“So have you read all my books? Am I the best novelist of all time?”

“Some... I read a lot for work,” Yuri replies vaguely.

“Which of my novels do you prefer?” tries Victor. Yuri clamps his lips down, not wanting flatter his ego. Victor continues, “I bet you like that sappy first one, the one where the woman dies…”

Yuri shakes his head, countering,

“It’s your fourth novel where your talent was really let loose, every image is achingly beautiful, and by the end I wanted that grandfather to be my own.”

Victor smiles triumphantly.

“I knew it! That’s my favorite one as well,” replies Victor cheerfully.

At the end of the first day, Victor still hasn’t chosen an apartment. Yuri goes home with a stack of work, staying up till 2 a.m. to get it done. Then he spends the next day apartment hunting with Victor. But Victor still isn’t satisfied. By the third day, Yuri has barely slept, and loses his temper.

“You want a modern French château, with a garden, in downtown Tokyo, with a penthouse view at a discount price? I should get you a tiny flat in my building as revenge,” rants Yuri. Victor looks at him puzzled.

“Are you feeling all right, Yuri? If you’re not sleeping well at your apartment, perhaps you need a new place as well,” begins Victor. Yuri complains,

“I’m not sleeping because I spend all day looking for apartments with you, and doing my work at night! I don’t have time to sleep!”

“What work? I haven’t given you a chapter yet,” argues Victor. Yuri looks at him incredulously.

“You’re not the only author I’m working with! I have a dozen writers to manage, all at different stages of completion. I don’t know why Suzuki-san assigned me to you, I’m already swamped!”

“I didn’t know that – I’m used to having an editor all to myself.”

Victor reflects for a moment, then declares,

“I’ll take that one bedroom apartment near Moriyama Publishing. I liked the furnishings.”

Yuri holds his head in his hand, and whispers disbelievingly,

“The one near my apartment?”

“Yes, what do you think?”

“That’s the first one I showed you!” exclaims Yuri. He walks over to Victor, wanting to scold him, when Victor says cheerily,

“I should’ve taken your advice to begin with, you’re always right!”

Yuri looks at him with frustration, then grumbles,

“Just remember that when we’re editing.”

They head back to the first apartment, sign some documents, then Victor admires the view again. Yuri checks the time,

“Victor, I need to go. There’s still time for me to get some work done.”

Victor nods and says reassuringly,

“Just sit for a moment, I’ll order you a quick sandwich.” Victor pushes Yuri down onto the couch, and dials a restaurant on his phone. “Yes, two turkey clubs with a salad and...”

Yuri closes his eyes for a moment, and before he knows it, passes out. Victor smiles, then takes off his jacket, and lays it on top of Yuri as a blanket. Then he makes some calls and settles on an overstuffed chair and types away on his laptop.

Yuri wakes up the next morning, not sure where he is. He’s on a leather couch, and there’s a lot of light coming out the window. Eventually he remembers he’s in Victor’s new apartment, which has magically been decorated since the day before. The place feels elegant yet cozy, and Yuri wonders how much this whole move is costing. Victor greets him with a cup of coffee,

“Good morning! I’m quite pleased with my new place. How did you sleep?”

Yuri winces at so much cheeriness in the morning, and replies,

“You moved in while I slept? I didn’t hear a thing.”

Victor smiles.

“You snored through the commotion, obviously you needed your beauty rest. I cleared your absence with your boss.”

Yuri checks the time and pales.

“Crap! I have to hurry and get changed at my apartment, then go to work. I expect a chapter from you by Friday…” warns Yuri, scrambling out the door. Victor makes a thumbs up sign, and continues to drink his coffee.

The following week, Yuri stays late at the office every night, again and again pouring over the first chapter from Victor. The chapter is so good, he has very minimal corrections. Yuri sighs in pleasure, reading some passages out loud, enjoying the sound of Victor’s words. He feels a thrill at sharing such an intimate creative venture with his former friend, but he’s uncomfortable with the characters. The teenage boys resemble Victor and Yuri. The school is different, the situations are different, yet when the taller boy talks to the shorter boy… Victor calls them ‘_Takai’_ or tall and ‘_Chibi’_ or shorty. Maybe Yuri is being overly sensitive. Of course Victor is infusing his fiction with impressions from his own life. He does one last read through, highlights his corrections in red, and emails the chapter back to Victor. His phone rings.

“Yuri, I just received an email from you. Corrections?” inquires Victor.

“Yes. Read through my notes and let me know what you think,” replies Yuri.

“You’ll have to come by, I don’t do editing online or on the phone.”

“I beg your pardon? You’ve published nine books, you must have done things through email!” retorts Yuri disbelievingly. Victor responds,

“I’m sensitive to criticism, I need it in person. Should I come to your office?”

Yuri imagines discussing teen boys at his desk. The one squeezed between seven other desks, in a large room with about 50 other office workers. Definitely not. Yuri offers,

“How about I come to your apartment after work?”

“That’s fine. I’ll cook for you. Somehow, I bet you survive on convenience store bentos. What time do you leave work?”

“Officially, I work 9 to 5:30. But more realistically, I could be there by… 8:30 p.m.?”

“I expect you here by 7 p.m. or I’m complaining to your boss. _Ciao_!”

Yuri sighs, and doggedly works through the piles of documents he needs to finish for today. Kitamura stops by his desk, and comments,

“I heard you snagged an impressive author, a handsome Russian?”

Yuri frowns, wondering how much Kitamura knows.

“I’m working with Ivan Nichols, who has a promising insightful novel about teen life,” admits Yuri, sticking close to the truth. Kitamura snorts,

“Yes, and this Nichols insists on only working with you, it’s in his contract!”

“It is?” confirms Yuri, surprised. Kitamura queries,

“Are you ready for the party Saturday night? The founder, Moriyama-sama himself, will be there to celebrate the establishment of the company.”

“What? Oh no, I forgot all about it,” groans Yuri. Kitamura shakes his finger at him.

“Don’t forget to bring the imaginary girlfriend you’ve mentioned…” reminds Kitamura with a smirk. Yuri swallows a rude comeback. Kitamura is such a gossip, it’s better not to antagonize him. Yuri waits for the other man to leave, and makes a call.

“Yuko-chan, would you like to go to a fancy party this Saturday?”

After work, Yuri hurries out of the office, already late for his meeting Victor. He rings the doorbell, nervously wondering at this first work meeting. Victor opens the door with an expression of disapproval.

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit late…” Yuri says apologetically.

“Yes, your food is a bit cold,” Victor replies, sounding disappointed. Yuri sits down at the table, which has been set with a tablecloth, small vase of flowers and a candle. Oh no, Victor has made an effort, which makes Yuri feel even more guilty. He quickly takes off his coat, sits down, and takes a bite.

“Yum, this pork tastes really good,” exclaims Yuri, enjoying the spicy sweetness.

“Yes, I’m a wonderful cook,” Victor agrees, with a grin.

“So... why did you decide to write about teenagers?” asks Yuri.

“Meeting you at the airport.”

“Meeting me? Why did that inspire you?” questions Yuri worriedly.

“I’ve always wanted to write about my life in high school. I’m hoping you’d share your side of the story, tell me what it felt like from your perspective. I’d like you to be a collaborator, not just an editor.”

Yuri’s eyes go wide, panicked at the idea of revealing his thoughts and feelings.

“Oh… I… Wow. I’ve never talked about that,” stalls Yuri. Victor probes,

“Not even with Yuko?”

“Um... we don’t talk that often…” answers Yuri, weakly. Are they going to discuss their high school sexual behavior? Yuri stays silent. Victor waits. Yuri can feel the silence building, like a pressure. Yuri insists,

“Victor, that was a long time ago.”

Victor nods, and continues to eat quietly. Yuri frowns. Josh would’ve asked him dozen of questions by now, causing him to clam up. But faced with silence, Yuri finds himself saying,

“I’m… I’m not sure what you want to know.”

“Well… What happened with Yuko? You were in love with her for years, and then you dated – why didn’t it work out?”

“Ah. Uh... I guess we’re better as friends, we’re still friends now. We just lacked… compatibility.”

Yuri avoids looking at Victor, and hopes his face isn’t turning too pink.

“Mmm. Riveting details. I’m so inspired for my next chapter,” Victor says drily. Yuri shrugs in embarrassment, then polishes off his plate. He rarely cooks for himself and this meal is a rare treat.

After dinner, Yuri goes over some passages of Victor’s writing,

“I’d change the punctuation here, and make this more colloquial. These are kids chatting!”

“Smart educated kids. They know big words,” asserts Victor. Then Victor reaches over Yuri, typing over certain places. Yuri can feel the warmth of Victor’s body, one arm keeps brushing up against his… Goodness, doesn’t Victor have any sense of personal space? This is only chapter 1… This book should have at least 15 to 20 chapters. How’s he going to get through that much editing with this man almost in his lap? Yuri gets up quickly, and heads over to the kitchen and announces,

“You cooked, so I should clean. Do you have an apron?”

Victor finds an apron, and Yuri feverishly cleans the kitchen, trying work off his excess energy. Once everything is sparkling, Victor motions to his shelves.

“Feel free to reorganize my books,” he offers, giving Yuri a knowing smile. Ugh. Yuri had forgotten Victor is quick to pick up on Yuri’s moods. Yuri orders,

“Get back to work, I want this chapter to be perfect!”

They discuss a few more passages, and Yuri passionately defends his corrections. He’s enjoying the work so much, he’s shocked to see many hours have passed. He doesn’t feel like leaving, and says reluctantly,

“It’s late. I need to go home.”

“Of course. But you’re welcome to stay here,” replies Victor, motioning to the couch. Yuri decides,

“It’s safer, uh, I mean, more comfortable to sleep at home.”

Yuri waves, and leaves quickly. That was enjoyable, probably too enjoyable. Yuri goes home, and tosses and turns in his bed. He can’t remember the last time he’s been so exhilarated about a book project.


	10. Fall Blast

Saturday night, Yuri picks up Yuko, who’s wearing a red cocktail dress. He offers,

“You look great. Very girly...” Yuko gives him a warning look. He tries, “Very... womanly?”

Yuko shakes her head, and rolls her eyes. Yuri tugs at his rental tux collar, nervous and uncomfortable. Yuri half listens as Yuko relates a story about her daughters,

“... The dinner was good, but the kitchen was a mess!”

They walk into the fancy ballroom of the hotel, and Yuri’s boss stops him. Suzuki demands,

“How is the novel coming? Everyone is excited to read the finished product!”

Yuri placates his boss,

“So far we have one solid chapter,” then stops at seeing Victor enter the ballroom. Suzuki exclaims,

“Ah! There he is, I’ll ask Nikiforov-san myself. For some reason, no one had invited him!”

“Nikiforov-san is legally prohibited from doing promotions not approved by his publisher,” protests Yuri with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“It’s just a party!” defends Suzuki. He calls out loudly, “NIKIFOROV-SAN! We are honored by your presence...”

Several guests stop and stare at the famous author, then Yuko strides towards Victor and exclaims,

“What are you doing here?”

“Yuko...? What a surprise, you look lovely! How are you?”

“But you disappeared…”

Suzuki gives a puzzled look to Yuko, and Yuri cuts in and pulls her away. He finds a little nook with some privacy.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you, Victor is publishing a book with us,” Yuri explains to her, waiting to be chastised. Yuko replies,

“I’m sorry. His presence... surprised me.” Yuko points out towards the ballroom. “I thought you hadn’t seen him since high school.”

“I ran into him a few weeks ago. He’s a famous author, my boss is excited to have him at the company party...”

Yuri observes Victor smiling and chatting with various people, wearing some kind of pinstriped suit with tails. He looks more stylish and well-dressed than anyone else, and is attracting a lot of attention. Yuko inquires pointedly,

“How is it going with Josh?”

“So so...” Yuri answers, distracted.

“Really? He sounds nice.”

“Yeah, Victor has been nice…”

She responds in disbelief,

“Are you getting involved with Victor again?!”

Yuri turns towards her and replies sheepishly,

“Uh... well... no, we’re just working together…”

“Yuri!!!”

Feeling guilty, Yuri reflexively says,

“I’m sorry Yuko-chan, I should have ended it sooner with you.”

Yuko squeezes his arm, and shakes her head. She insists,

“No. I enjoyed our time together. If you hadn’t been gay, I would’ve fought for you.”

Yuri smiles and squeezes her hand, admitting,

“You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.”

Yuri chats with authors and coworkers, smiling till he feels his face will crack. Victor is talking to a group of women from his office, grinning and flirting. Yuko is dancing with someone, and laughing. She seems to be enjoying herself. Yuri goes up to the second floor mezzanine, and finds a balcony with some fresh air and privacy. Yuko’s words keep echoing in his mind, and he wonders if she is right.

“Have I caused trouble by showing up to your company party?” asks Victor behind him. Yuri shrugs and admits,

“My boss is thrilled. He’s like a child trying not to spoil the surprise. I’m sorry about Yuko-chan. I forgot to tell her you were in Tokyo.” Yuri pauses. “Victor, it might be better if I switch you to another editor.”

“Why?” asks Victor, leaning on the banister.

“I’m too close to the story you’re writing. I lack objectivity.”

Victor shakes his head, and counters,

“I’ve read several books you’ve edited. I like your guidance. You have a feeling for the characters, and how to… discipline your writers. You often act shy and meek, but you’re extremely determined when aroused.” Victor smiles a little. “When your interest is aroused,” Victor corrects himself.

Yuri struggles with his emotions. He’s extremely pleased by Victor’s compliment, but has no idea how to address his attraction to Victor. Yuri feels a thrill at every email and phone call, let alone when they’re together in a room. Yuri turns towards Victor, and notices they are standing a bit too close. It’s dark, the night is beautiful, and… Victor is going to kiss him. Yuri can feel it. There’s an electricity in the air, and Yuri closes his eyes in anticipation…

“Yuri-chan!” someone shouts behind him. Yuri turns and sees a tall blond, striding towards them. Josh? Why is Josh here? Josh puts his arm between him and Victor. Victor smiles politely, and steps back.

“I’m Victor Nikiforov,” says Victor, holding out his hand. Josh turns pale.

“Victor Nikiforov, the Victor Nikiforov?” repeats Josh, not shaking Victor’s hand.

“Yes, I’m the famous author,” clarifies Victor, with a raised eyebrow.

“Who went to high school with Yuri…” continues Josh. Yuri interrupts the exchange.

“Josh, what are you doing here? This is a work party,” exclaims Yuri, horrified at the situation. Josh explains,

“I called Yuko-san, and she said you were here. Please don’t get involved with another guy, especially not your fantasy dream guy!”

“Uurgh...” Yuri makes a strange gurgle noise. Josh registers how shocked Yuri looks, he backs away. Yuri turns to Victor, but before he can say anything, he hears,

“Katsuki-kun! The chairman of the company, Moriyama-san, is waiting to meet Mister Nikiforov,” says Kitamura with a horrible smirk. Yuri bows and responds,

“Yes, of course. We will come over immediately.”

Josh turns and leaves. Yuri feels sweat drip on his brow. No, no, no! How much did Kitamura hear?

Yuri follows Kitamura reluctantly, and Victor walks behind them. Thankfully, Josh leaves quietly. In a fancy side room, Victor is introduced to various important guests, and Yuri watches Victor charm them one by one. Most are surprised to find Victor speaks impeccable Japanese. The evening drags on, and Yuko comes over, looking a little tipsy.

“Yuuu-ri, call me a cab?”

“You’re a cab,” he replies, as he calls a cab company, and takes her arm.

“Shanks.”

“Yuko-chan, did Josh call you?”

“Oh yesh, shorry! He wanted to walk you home tonight…”

“It’s okay. Tell Nishigori I said hi.”

He helps her into a cab and pays the driver. Finally, the last of the guests sway drunkenly outside, and as a junior associate, Yuri helps clean up after the party. He’s one of the last to leave, then as he steps outside he realizes he’s missed the last train for the night.

“Shall I give you a ride in my car?” offers Victor, suddenly showing up beside him. Yuri frowns and replies tiredly,

“Why are you still here?”

“I was hiding in the lounge from several office ladies. Get in, I rented this silly thing just for tonight,” says Victor, as the valet gives him the keys to a flashy red sports car. Yuri regards the car like a trap, then gives up and gets in.

“Yuri, the party was a success. Don’t fret so much!”

Yuri shakes his head.

“Kitamura-san is incapable of keeping his mouth shut. By Monday, all my coworkers will have heard I’m gay and have a boyfriend. My boss will give me all the worse assignments till I quit. The publishing industry is already overly competitive. And at my age, it’s not good to start over in a new company…” worries Yuri, burying his head in his hands. Victor pulls up to Yuri’s apartment building.

“Yuri…”

“Yes, I should’ve told you I’m gay! And I should be used to being different by now…” wails Yuri. Victor reaches over, caresses Yuri’s cheek, till Yuri notices, and turns towards Victor. Then Victor’s lips are on his. It’s just a brief moment, and it’s over before he knows it.

“You’ll be fine. Call me if you need to talk,” Victor reassures him.

“Right. I’ll be leaving first,” Yuri replies automatically, unbuckles and gets out of the car. Then he turns towards Victor. “Why did you kiss me?”

Victor grins and replies sassily,

“I hate to get in trouble for something I didn’t do!”

Victor waives, and drives off into the night.

The next day, Yuri goes directly to Josh’s apartment. Josh opens the door, and Yuri hovers in the entryway, and says,

“I won’t stay long. Why did you make a scene at my work party? You outed me!”

Josh gives him a sheepish look, and admits,

“I wasn’t planning to… but I really like you…”

“Sorry, but I don’t feel the same.”

Josh recoils with a hurt expression. Then he asks,

“I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. Will you give me another chance?”

Yuri hesitates, then answers,

“I… don’t know... But my feelings… I can’t be with you when I feel like this,” confesses Yuri reluctantly. Josh shakes his head, and places his hand on Yuri’s shoulder.

“I’m not giving up on you. Take a break if you need it. But we could be good together. Call me if you want to try again.”

Yuri goes home, feeling terrible, but relieved. He had no idea Josh was so into him. He calls Victor,

“Victor, could we talk? In person. I’d like say more about the… awkward situation with Josh.”

“Ooh, are you going to explain about the fantasy dream guy?” inquires Victor innocently. Yuri groans.

“No. I don’t have a fantasy dream guy. And you’re definitely nothing like him,” denies Yuri. Victor laughs.

“You’re a terrible liar. You always were. Meet me for dinner tonight.”

That evening, Yuri arrives at a the restaurant, determined to get answers. Is Victor just flirting... or is he interested in Yuri? But he examines the eating place in dismay. It’s called _Prison_, and it’s some kind of theme restaurant. A famous actor, Kajima Kenji, is being mobbed at the front door, and is giving autographs. Yuri gives his name to the waitress, dressed as a cutesy cop. She leads him down a red lit corridor with cells on both sides, then they go down some stairs to a private cell, decorated with manacles. Victor waves. Yuri looks around and says,

“Not exactly warm or cozy...”

Victor begins,

“Yuri, first, I must apologize. I kissed you, because of our past. I should act more professional.”

Victor pauses, the waitress opens their cell door. Kajima Kenji strolls confidently into their cell. He stops next to Victor, and announces,

“Sorry for the drama, darling!”

“Kenji this is Yuri, Yuri this is Kenji, the man I’ve been dating. Interesting place, no? Kenji picked the restaurant.”

Yuri feels a weight sink inside his stomach. Kenji is tall and gorgeous, and Yuri tries to be nice, but can’t help ask with a grimace,

“Uh, so you’re fond of prisons?”

Kenji laughs and explains,

“Not at all! But this place keeps its customers locked up, which keeps them from bothering me.”

Then he prattles on about his last film. Even Victor can barely get in a word. Yuri pretends to be interested, til he hears,

“Vicchan and I have the perfect relationship. I’m gone for months filming movies, and he uses the time to write. After all, he can’t write if anybody else is around.”

Yuri frowns. Victor has no problem writing around Yuri. Yuri inquires,

“Which of Victor’s novel do you prefer?”

“I don’t read his books. And he doesn’t watch my movies. That way there’s no criticism between us. What do you do?” responds Kenji.

“I’m a book editor. I criticize for a living,” remarks Yuri, giving an indignant look to Victor, who seems amused by the exchange.

“Excuse me, I need to check my face,” announces Kenji, giving Victor a wink. As soon as Kenji is gone, Yuri grumbles,

“Idiotic actors are your type? Really, Victor, you disappoint me!”

Victor seems pleased by the reaction. He responds with,

“You wanted to tell me something about Josh?”

Faced with Victor’s gorgeous boyfriend, Yuri feels silly explaining about dumping his jealous not-yet boyfriend. Instead he says,

“Ah... yes. We’ve been having problems. He wants more of a commitment, I don’t.”

“That’s it?” Victor gives him a puzzled look. “You could’ve told me that over the phone.”

Darn. It doesn’t make much sense, so Yuri lamely adds,

“Anyway, that’s why Josh lashed out at you.”

“I doubt it. He lashed out because I was going to kiss you.”

Yuri blinks several times, trying to make out Victor’s expression. Victor seems calm, and not at all guilty about kissing him.

“But don’t you have a boyfriend…?” confirms Yuri, pointing at Kenji’s seat.

“About that…” begins Victor, then is interrupted by Kenji returning, and asking,

“What did I miss?”

“One of my writers has an emergency. I have to go,” declares Yuri. Kenji looks surprised, and inquires,

“What kind of emergency? Did someone run out of ink and the stores are closed?” jokes Kenji.

“Computer emergency. I keep telling my writers to backup their systems, but, you know…” Yuri replies vaguely. He excuses himself and leaves the horrible eatery.

Once at home, Yuri sits at his desk, feeling lonely. He considers calling Josh, but then he looks at the corkboard above his desk. It’s covered in news clippings about Victor. Yuri groans. He can’t believe he told Victor he still has a boyfriend... More importantly: Victor is gay! He’d heard rumors about Victor dating men… but now he’s sure. He whispers to himself,

“Yay! Victor is gay, gay, gay! But he has a boyfriend... Oh no, I’m the idiot!”

Monday morning, Yuri tiptoes through his workplace, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Everyone must now hate him, and he wonders when the bullying will begin. Several times, groups of people stop talking as he enters the room, obviously they’ve been gossiping about Yuri. By lunchtime, Yuri decides to go out to eat, and avoid the situation.

“Katsuki-kun, take me to lunch!”

Yuri turns, and sees Kitamura leaning on his desk. Yuri frowns, and replies,

“Oh, uh, but I can only afford cheap noodles…”

Kitamura nods enthusiastically.

“Perfect! We’ll finally talk more intimately…”

Yuri flinches at this remark, and trudges reluctantly behind Kitamura. He’d rather dine with his grumpy boss.

They go to a nearby ramen shack, and Yuri eats halfheartedly, waiting for Kitamura to attack him.

“So… what did you want to talk about?” asks Yuri, pushing his bowl away unfinished. At least he’s been losing weight, because of all the stress in his life. Kitamura continues to slurp his noodles happily.

“What will you do for me? You know, in exchange for my silence,” asks Kitamura, leaning close conspiratorially.

“Silence about what?” Yuri questions, shocked. Kitamura replies cheerfully,

“About you being gay, and having a boyfriend. And what about Nikiforov-san? Are you cheating on your boyfriend with the Russian novelist? You’re much more interesting than I thought.”

Yuri clenches his fist and accuses,

“You already told our coworkers about my personal life!”

“I haven’t said a word – not yet,” teases Kitamura. Yuri frowns. Then why was everyone at work was staring at him?

“I can’t pay you – I’m almost broke,” spits out Yuri angrily. Kitamura laughs.

“You’re taking me way too seriously! I’m not interested in money – I’m interested in you! Have dinner with me this weekend.”

“Dinner?” repeats Yuri stupidly. Kitamura heaves a big theatrical sigh.

“I’m single and attractive, I can’t believe you haven’t noticed! Or do you only date foreigners? If it’s really important, I can dye my hair blonde…” jokes Kitamura. Yuri stares at the other man. He’s never really looked at him before. Slightly taller than Yuri, regular good looks, loud outgoing personality… Yuri groans. Kitamura isn’t blackmailing him, he’s asking him out in a terrible way. Josh had said Yuri has no ‘_gaydar_’. Yuri grumbles,

“I’m busy. I need to get back to work.”

“Busy with the boyfriend, or the Russian?” quizzes Kitamura.

“I’m not dating anyone at present,” Yuri says truthfully, escaping with a grimace.

For the next two days, Yuri catches up on work at his office. Most of his experienced authors he sees only occasionally to verify their progress. But Yuri has an uneasy feeling about Victor, and he gives him a call.

“Hi, I’m calling to check on you. Do you need a lot of handholding? Or a more _laissez-faire_ approach to your creative time?”

Victor chuckles and admits,

“I’m more of the former… Do you have time to review some pages tonight?”

“Tonight? Why don’t you just email me the pages tomorrow morning?”

Victor makes a noncommittal noise, then says,

“Mmm. Maybe I should just delete what I’ve done so far, and start over…”

Yuri looks at the phone in alarm.

“No, no, no! No deleting anything! Even if you think it’s awful, let me read it first. Promise me, Victor,” pleads Yuri. Victor sighs.

“I’ll try not to. Oh and Yuri…”

“Yes?”

“Bring Indian food. Curry sounds good.”

The phone beeps off. Yuri stares at it, having a definite feeling Victor is up to something. The phone rings again, and Yuri recognizes the number.

“Hi, Josh. How are you?”

“Hello. I know we’re on a break, but my birthday is tonight. We’re all meeting at the club near my apartment. It would mean a lot if you’d show up. Bye.”

Yuri feels like he’s kicked a puppy. Even if he’s not dating Josh, he should at least show up for the birthday event.

Yuri has Indian food delivered to Victor, and emails him that he will stop by late tonight. Then he goes to Josh’s favorite gay bar, the horribly named _Artsy Fartsy_. Yuri walks in reluctantly, then hides in a corner. He’s not comfortable being so open about his sexual orientation. Josh arrives with a huge group of people, both men and women. He’s popular everywhere he goes. He has a sporty disheveled look, and gives Yuri a boyish grin at seeing him. Yuri shrinks into his chair, and gives a tiny wave. Josh brings his whole group over to Yuri’s corner, and everyone chats amiably. The evening drags on, and Yuri checks his phone again, checking the time.

“Do you have a date tonight?” Josh asks directly. Yuri winces.

“I’m swamped at work. I need to edit some pages before tomorrow,” explains Yuri, sticking close to the truth. Josh looks downcast, and responds,

“Of course. Thanks for coming, anyway.”

Yuri leaves the bar feeling like an awful person. He shows up at Victor’s apartment, wondering if it’s too late. Victor greets him unenthusiastically, and lets him in. The Indian food is still sitting on the counter, untouched, while Victor collapses on the couch eyeing his computer helplessly.

“Am I too late?” asks Yuri, irritated after the long evening. Victor nods and admits,

“Yes. I deleted the pages... You were with Josh?”

“Yes. It’s his birthday. Victor, I didn’t think you’d be such a diva!” grumbles Yuri, taking out some dishes and reheating the food. “Should I call your previous editor – get some handling tips?”

Victor shakes his head and explains,

“I’m not usually this way. Well, I’m high maintenance but... this story is much more difficult than the usual stuff I write. My emotions are involved.”

Yuri reheats and serves the food, then pulls the chair back for Victor, motioning him to sit down. Victor paces for a moment, then reluctantly sits down. Yuri remarks,

“All your novels are very emotional. It’s precisely your insight into your characters and their feelings that make your writing so viscerally intense. Eat!”

Victor picks at his food, then gingerly takes a bite. He confesses,

“Usually the character’s motivations and feelings are clear to me. But in this story, I’m uncertain – like in real life. For example, I watch what you do, and listen to what you say, but I don’t really know what you’re really thinking and feeling.”

Victor is watching him quizzically, so Yuri gives a rueful smile, and admits,

“Maybe that’s because I don’t really know myself.”

“You don’t know how you feel?” asks Victor, surprised. “In high school, you seemed unwavering in your love for Yuko.”

Yuri lowers his head uncomfortably and explains,

“That.. that was a childish dream. I grew up believing being straight was normal, the only way to be. I’d heard about gay people, the way you hear about gangsters – regular people don’t deal with them. I met Yuko when I was five. My affection for her wasn’t sexual, but I didn’t know the difference. I dated Yuko-chan for a year and a half, almost til the end of high school.”

Victor examines his own fingers and recalls,

“We became friends and I discovered that my sexual feelings were much stronger for you than for any girl. I realized I must be gay, but I was afraid of telling you. When I moved to London, I told my father and he was… not thrilled. I rarely see my father anymore.”

“Oh... After meeting you, I started wanting… other things. But I didn’t have the courage to voice that aloud.”

Victor replies,

“Amazing. I assumed your time with me was a mistake… ”

“When you and I became friends, it was so wonderful, I was giddy all the time. I’d never had a male friend, so I assumed my feelings were normal best friend feelings.”

“But Yuri, surely you suspected something was different when we began kissing…?”

Yuri feels his cheeks burn and confesses,

“I know, you must’ve thought I was really stupid. It was secret, and I trusted you. And it felt so good it was like… chocolate cake appearing every day. You don’t question magical chocolate cake.”

Victor grins, looking very pleased, and responds,

“You liked kissing me that much? And now?”

Yuri shrugs.

“I’m focusing on work.” Yuri pulls out his laptop. “Give me your pages.”

“I deleted the pages.”

Yuri gives Victor an exasperated look, and goes over to Victor’s laptop. He checks the recycle bin, and clicks a few more times.

“Still there. Now let’s get to work.”

Yuri sits at the table, reading, while Victor puts away the food and cleans up. Yuri make some notes, and yawns as he works. Finally he tells Victor,

“This chapter doesn’t fit in with what you’ve already written. You were writing a coming of age story, and now it’s a... murder mystery. The taller boy sounds like he’s going to kill the shorter boy. Why don’t they have names yet?”

Victor grimaces at the critique, and replies,

“I told you, I’m too emotionally involved! When I started writing, I had this feeling of… that love exists, and it can overcome any obstacle. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Victor throws his hands in the air, collapses on the couch again. Yuri is unsure of what to do. Is Victor having boyfriend problems? No way is Yuri helping with that. He tells him,

“I can help you with pacing or your choice of vocabulary, but I can’t restore your faith in love. I don’t have it myself.”

“Why not?” asks Victor, “Haven’t you ever been in love?”

Yuri takes a deep breath, and advises,

“Use your imagination. You don’t have to experience something to write about it.”

Victor gets up and paces restlessly for a moment, then disappears in the bedroom and comes out with two swimsuits. He throws one of them at Yuri, declaring,

“This building has a workout room and a pool. Let’s get some exercise and clear our heads.”

Yuri regards the swimsuit with alarm and asserts,

“I’ll stay here. I need to estimate projected sales of…”

“Are you still hung up on partial nudity, or are you avoiding losing a race?” inquires Victor. Yuri purses his lips in irritation and defends himself,

“I like nudity! Male nudity... I mean, in the proper context, nakedness is… uh, fine. As a kid, I had a hangup because I didn’t want to face being attracted to men... but I watch nude men now...” Yuri covers his eyes with his hand, wishing his mouth would just shut up. “But, you’d win a race, I haven’t been near a pool in ages.”

Victor nods in response.

“I’m too chubby for swimwear,” Yuri continues to mutter. Meanwhile, Victor unbuttons his shirt and says loudly,

“Good. You can see me half naked then!”

He gives Yuri a flirty wink, and disappears with a swimsuit into the bedroom.

Yuri gapes for a moment, then bolts up and rushes to the bathroom, stripping at lightning speed. Never mind how fat he is, he’s never seen adult Victor in swimwear, and he doesn’t want to miss one second of it.

Yuri pulls on the large swim shorts, then covers himself in a white robe hanging in the bathroom. He walks out questioning,

“Did you buy this for me? It fits perfectly…”

Then stops and stares. Victor is wearing a flashy pink racing suit. He was a good-looking teenager, but as an adult – he’s breathtakingly beautiful. The skin, the muscles, the sparkle in his eyes… Yuri belts his robe tighter, and thinks of a turnoff.

“Boobs, boobs, boobs…” Yuri chants to himself as they walk to the pool area.

“What are you saying?” interrupts Victor. Yuri pales and says,

“New song, doo doo dooo! Uh, from the radio.”

They arrive at the pool, and thankfully, no one else is there. Yuri perches on a lounge chair, feeling once again like a dorky kid. Victor dives in and does laps. After about 10 minutes, Victor takes a break, panting by the edge of the pool. Yuri watches Victor intently, trying to burn the memory in his brain.

“Should I drag you in, or sweet talk you into the pool?” inquires Victor.

“What?!” Yuri startles out of his daydream, and responds decidedly, “I’m not getting in.”

Victor gets out, grabs a towel, and sits next to Yuri. Victor looks straight into Yuri’s eyes, and says,

“I like you, Yuri Katsuki. Just the way you are.”

Yuri gulps, and considers kissing Victor. Or maybe just running his hands on those damp abs… Yuri flings his robe off, and jumps into the pool. The cold water hits him like a shock, and cools his body. He glances over at Victor who is smiling devilishly. Damn. Didn’t Victor say he’d act more professional? Victor sits on the edge of the pool, with his feet in the water, and inquires,

“Overheated?”

Yuri gives him a dirty look. Victor dives in, and the next thing he knows, they are racing for the farthest edge. It feels good for a moment, then Yuri’s arm start to ache, and his lungs burn in protest. Victor wins easily, and Yuri slaps the water in frustration.

“You’re welcome to do laps at this pool anytime,” offers Victor. Yuri considers it. It’s tempting to get in shape in this pool, but wet Victor might be too much temptation.

“Do you still swim every morning?” checks Yuri. Victor replies,

“I prefer evenings now. It’s a good respite when I have writer’s block.”

Back in the apartment, they sit down and work on their respective laptops. Yuri orders,

“Start over. Why don’t you change your point of view? Maybe if you write from the perspective of another character... How about the teacher? How does she see the teenagers?”

Victor ponders the suggestion, prevaricating,

“Mmm, doesn’t feel right...”

“A friend, sibling,...” continues Yuri. Victor frowns. Yuri offers jokingly, “...a desk, a dog...”

“Now you’re being weird. A dog doesn’t have an opinion!”

“The dog can moods and has no cultural programming.” Yuri taps his head, and adds, “Did you ever read _I Am a Cat_ ? It’s a satirical novel by Soseki Natsume which describes a city from the perspective of a street cat.”

Victor stares at Yuri with a rather intense gaze. Unnerved, Yuri says,

“What?!”

“_Neko_ means being a bottom, right?”

“Oh... uh, yes, but, not what I was referring to…” insists Yuri, hiding his face. Victor suddenly cocks his head and and exclaims,

“Of course... Yuri, you’re brilliant!”

Victor gives Yuri a quick hug, then sits down, and types away energetically.

Around 4 a.m., Victor reads a sentence aloud,

“A cherry blossom petal drifts through the window, a lonely reminder…”

He sees Yuri’s head resting on the couch, his laptop still open on his lap. Victor slowly removes it, then guides Yuri down. He fetches a blanket to cover him, then whispers,

“Working with you is amazing... You’re smart, knowledgeable, and have a creative instinct – Moriyama Publishing doesn’t deserve you, you could work anywhere...”

Victor makes a decision, and sends an email.


	11. Fall Moon

The next morning, Yuri wakes up on the couch. He wakes in a panic, quickly puts on his coat, then his shoes. Victor comes out of his bedroom wearing a bathrobe and apparently nothing else. Victor smooths Yuri’s tie and fixes his collar. Yuri is freezes at the intimate gesture. Victor might as well have run his hands all over Yuri’s body... He catches a familiar whiff and exclaims,

“You smell of citrus and cypress!”

“Right. In Japan, they have this amazing shampoo... You should try it,” says Victor, brushing Yuri’s hair back from his face. Yuri closes his eyes, controlling the urge to pull Victor in for a kiss. Yuri breathes shakily, then there’s a knock. Victor opens the door, and exclaims,

“Andrew!?”

An elegant man in a suit with graying dark hair says with a British accent,

“Good morning, Victor. I’m glad you informed me of your new venture, I had called you a _few_ times…”

“Yuri, my previous editor, Andrew Skryabin. Andrew, my current editor, Yuri Katsuki ”

Andrew raises an eyebrow, and says cynically,

“Ah. I see why I have been set aside: I’m not as young, or cute.”

“Oh no, it’s not like that, we were working late...” protests Yuri.

“At Mr Nikiforov’s private home? How... _professional_,” responds the man, oozing sarcasm. Then he entreats earnestly, “Victor, you need to honor your gift. Don’t settle for anything less than what your talent deserves. And don’t worry about your contract – our legal team can handle that.”

Victor recoils, but before he can say anything, Yuri declares earnestly,

“Mr Nikiforov is not settling. Our company is providing a top notch team, and I’m making sure this is Victor’s best book ever! Don’t underestimate me.”

Yuri brushes past him quickly and slams the door. Victor stares at the door, then goes to call Yuri back, but hesitates. He whispers,

“Oh, Yuri... you’re making things difficult.” Then loudly, “Andrew, please come in.”

Yuri goes to his office, then buries himself in work. Around noon, Andrew Skryabin shows up at Moriyama Publishing with Victor.

“Mr Katsuki, as a courtesy, I’m informing you that my company is still pursuing Mr Nikiforov’s latest novel for publication. Moriyama doesn’t have the worldwide connections to make it a success. I recommend you support the endeavor.”

“If Mr Nikiforov wishes it, so do I,” Yuri replies, gritting his teeth. Mr Skryabin nods approvingly. Victor begins,

“Perhaps...”

Then Suzuki comes in, bows, and offers his business card to Skryabin.

“Suzuki Taro, pleased to you. Please, right this way to my office.”

Mr Skryabin says in low voice,

“And Mr Katsuki, a word of advice. Mr Nikiforov is quick to become enamored, but his attention fades just as quickly.”

Skryabin leaves and Kitamura pops up next to Yuri, asking,

“Who was that? He looks like a butler about to serve tea on a silver platter.”

“The top editor at Ransom House Publishing. He’s trying to steal our star author,” mutters Yuri.

“You mean the handsome Russian? No wonder you look mad.”

“I’m not mad! I’m... indignant. That man thinks he’s better than us!”

“Well, he’s the top editor at the biggest publishing company in the world. And very handsome,” replies Kitamura. Yuri responds, now even more annoyed,

“You think he’s handsome?”

“Of course. I wonder if he’s stiff like that in bed...” muses Kitamura. Yuri rolls his eyes, and shoves some papers around his desk, pretending to work.

After work, Suzuki insists Yuri join Victor and Skryabin for drinks. Kitamura accompanies them, though he wasn’t invited. Suzuki orders expensive sake, and they all toast Victor’s new endeavor. Yuri quickly downs several glasses, and Victor leans over and asks Kitamura,

“Does Yuri usually drink this much?”

“Nope. The few times I’ve dragged him out, he barely touched the alcohol.”

Yuri is getting maudlin, and tells Victor,

“I’m sorry about losing my temper. If you want your book edited by someone else, you can push me aside. You don’t owe me anything...”

He holds his head, looking depressed. Victor insists,

“I truly believe in your talent, Yuri. And I’m glad you no longer need my help with bullies.”

Yuri frowns, then continues to drink, while Victor and Suzuki discuss the book with Skryabin.

The next morning, Yuri wakes up on Victor’s couch with a throbbing headache. Victor greets him with some coffee and a pain reliever. Yuri takes both gratefully. Then he asks despondently,  
“Are you returning to your old publisher?”

Victor chuckles, then replies,

“No. I like my fiery young one. But Ransom House will be translating and distributing the novel outside of Japan.”

Yuri sighs and admits,

“I guess that’s best, Moriyama is too small to do that... ”

There’s a silence.

“Do you remember the best part?” inquires Victor.

“Uh? No, what?” replies Yuri, rubbing his head. He barely remembers anything about the evening.

“Suzuki negotiated to have the book published under my real name...” reveals Victor. Yuri’s jaw drops.

“You mean... you mean...”

“Yuri, you’re now editing a Nikiforov novel!”

“Really? Victor, that’s great!” exclaims Yuri, wincing at his own voice. “I guess I should forgive that British butler of yours.”

“What butler?” questions Victor, puzzled. Yuri grunts a reply, then hurries to work.

At the office, Yuri arrives at his desk, and is welcomed by dozens of coworkers clapping. Yuri bows in response, grimacing as his head explodes in pain at the noise. Kitamura gleefully claps next to him, then shoos everyone away. Kitamura asks,

“How’re you feeling? I enjoyed your performance last night, as they say, _sake reveals the true heart_.”

“Performance?” squeaks Yuri, holding his head. Kitamura replies,

“You don’t remember?” Kitamura chuckles. “Oh don’t worry, you just danced around the restaurant a bit. You were drunk, so it’s all forgiven.”

The next day, Yuri receives a special lunch delivered to his desk. There’s a note that says ‘_Your favorite_’. It’s a katsudon from a local restaurant. The next day he receives flowers, and the following day a box of chocolates. Several women stop by his desk, ooh-ing and ah-ing at the items. None of the items are signed, and Yuri calls Victor,

“Have you been sending me gifts?”

“What kind of gifts?”

“Flowers, and chocolates and stuff… My coworkers have been asking about it, I hate being subject of gossip…”

“No, I haven’t. Someone is courting you, but they don’t know you very well,” Victor replies coolly. Yuri lightly smacks himself. Of course Victor isn’t courting him.

“But they do… this is all stuff I like,” argues Yuri.

“Then you have your answer. Good day, Yuri.”

Yuri’s phone rings, and he hesitates, seeing Josh’s phone number. Oops. The gifts were probably from Josh. Yuri presses a button and hears Josh says,

“Yuri-chan, are you available for lunch today? Or maybe just coffee?”

“We’re not dating, Josh,” protests Yuri.

“I’m not allowed to win you back?”

“I appreciate all the effort you’re making, but I can’t right now.”

“I understand. But I’m only waiting a short time. If you don’t give me a chance soon, I’ll move on.”

Yuri hangs up, wishing the guy would give up.

“Katsuki-kun, sounds like you’re having dinner with me tonight,” Kitamura remarks, grabbing the box of chocolates, then popping one in his mouth. He announces to the office, “Katsuki-kun is on a diet, everyone help him eat these sweets, please!”

Yuri gapes, as a stampede of office workers quickly finish off the box.

“I... But...”

Kitamura licks his lips and responds,

“Yum, delicious. Who’s been sending the gifts?”

“No one. They’re anonymous,” grumbles Yuri, annoyed at losing his chocolates. Kitamura wanders off to chat. Yuri admires the flowers, and insists,

“I should at least thank Josh...”

Yuri checks his email, and finds one from Victor:

_Dear Yuri, _

_look outside at the moon. _

_The baby cow_

_Goes on a trip._

_In the autumn rain._

_-Issa_

Yuri blinks several times, memories of Kyoto flooding back. He walks down the hall and looks out a window for the moon. Victor remembered his love of _O-tsukimi,_ where people gaze at the moon and recite poetry. His heart begins to ache. Josh knows his taste in food, but Victor... gets his spirit.

Yuri leaves his desk on time at the end of the workday, and takes a pile of work home. That way he can avoid Kitamura. One of his authors has just completed a long chapter, and the editing is troublesome. The whole chapter seems to be one run-on sentence! He turns his phone off, and reads to see if any of it is salvageable. A few hours go by, and he hears a knock at the door. He frowns, then hesitates before opening the door. Josh wouldn’t usually stop by, but Josh is behaving unpredictably. Who else could it be? Maybe it’s just one of the neighbors… Yuri opens the door, and sees Victor standing at his front door.

“Victor? What are you doing here?”

“I was curious. I wanted to see where you live,” replies Victor, handing over a bag of food. Yuri stands there stunned for a moment, as Victor presses in, and takes off his shoes.

“It’s tiny! There’s barely room to turn around,” exclaims Victor. Yuri finally processes that Victor is in his apartment. He quickly picks up some dirty clothes and a dirty cup. Yuri defends himself,

“I wasn’t expecting company – I don’t invite people here.”

Victor examines the apartment, then takes a seat on Yuri’s office chair. Victor points to the bed, asking,

“No bedroom?”

“No need. I’m very fortunate to be an editor at my age, but I don’t make very much money.” Yuri goes over to the kitchen counter, “Are you hungry?”

“No, go ahead.”

Yuri sits on the floor next to his tiny low table, opens the bag to find some pork buns. He wolfs one down hungrily, then queries,

“Why did you want to see my apartment? Did you need proof your place is fabulous?”

Victor shakes his head, smiling.

“I know my apartment is a palace for Tokyo. I’m curious about you. People are endlessly fascinating. And your environment reveals a lot about you.”

Yuri looks around the tiny place, wondering what Victor sees. It’s shabby, undecorated, and resembles the room of a college student.

“Mostly it says I have no life,” says Yuri. Victor points to several photos of himself on the corkboard.

“Why do you have so many pictures of me?”

Yuri bites his lip, wishing he’d taken those down. He tries to respond casually,

“You’re my new star author, I’ve been researching you.”

Yuri hopes Victor doesn’t look too closely, since the articles date back several years. Thankfully, Victor is perusing the books next to Yuri’s desk. Victor observes,

“You still like to read, and most of what you do in this room is work. And for some reason, you have at two copies of each my books.”

Victor pulls out duplicate volumes of his first novel, and shows them as evidence to Yuri.

“Companies send me free copies of books – I’m an editor,” explains Yuri hurriedly. Victor opens the first pages of the book and reads aloud,

“May all your dreams come true, V. Nikiforov.” Victor checks another volume, and reads “May this story warm your heart, V. Nikiforov.” Victor reaches for another book, but Yuri snatches it from his hand.

“Okay, okay. So I collected autographed copies of your books. We were friends, I was pleased you were successful in your writing,” admits Yuri bashfully. Victor looks at him thoughtfully, and Yuri backs away a bit, unnerved by Victor’s closeness. Yuri looks around his room again, and he frowns at his bed. It seems to be growing bigger, and more obtrusive, like there’s a neon sign saying ‘_Have sex here!_’

“Why didn’t you contact me? I would’ve given you a personalized autograph,” questions Victor. Yuri sits on the bed, and rubs his head. Yuri confesses,

“You disappeared. You never called. It seemed like... you didn’t want to be found.”

Victor hesitates, then admits,

“I saw you kissing Yuko on the roof. You no longer needed me.”

Yuri stares at him, then recalls,

“Oh. She kissed me and said we should be together. I felt trapped into being with her, and I desperately wanted to talk to you...”

Victor sits next to Yuri, and asks,

“If I had finished high school with you, would things have been different?”

Yuri shrugs his shoulders, and says quietly,

“Hopefully we’d still be friends. I was in deep denial – I’m not sure what would’ve happened between us.”

“What about now? Am I just an exceptional author, or would you like to be my friend?”

Yuri watches Victor sitting on his bed, and has a flashback of younger Victor doing the same thing. Yuri tries to ignore the sexual attraction, and focus on the person. Victor is difficult, brilliant, smart… and yet kind... He feels a deep upwelling of fondness. Feeling exposed, Yuri throws the nearest pillow at him, which hits Victor in the face. Victor looks shocked, then pulls Yuri down next to him, and tickles the back of his neck. Yuri protests,

“No no! Not there! You know I’m helpless against that!”

Victor stops, and smiles. They lie side by side for some time, and Yuri feels strangely relaxed and normal in this situation. Yuri reaches over, and lightly touches the short silver hair. Victor turns away, giving more access to his hair. Yuri is reminded of a cat, Victor would purr if he could. Eventually Yuri admits,

“I miss your long hair – though this looks good too.”

“And…?”

“And I’d like to be your friend again.”

Victor chuckles, and Yuri gives him a frown. Victor adds,

“You always bottle up your feelings, but given enough time, they spill out. It’s reassuring that you haven’t changed too much.”

Yuri contradicts him, proclaiming,

“I’ve changed! I’m not the naïve, bumbling doofus I was! I’m mature, self-assured, and... suave!”

Victor laughs again, and hits him with a pillow. Yuri grabs both of Victor’s arms and pins him down onto the bed. Victor watches him with a curious half smile. It would be so easy to kiss... and Yuri quickly lets go. He can’t have sex with his friend. Yuri orders,

“Time for work! So now, my friend, I’m kicking you out.”

Victor starts to say something, then stops. He simply replies,

“Still so bossy. Good night, Yuri.”

“Good night.”

That night, Yuri researches gym memberships, and stares in shock at the prices. Like many things in Tokyo, the cost is exorbitant. He could use the pool in Victor’s building for free. As long as he works out in the morning, he won’t run into his attractive friend. He sends Victor a request for an access key, then exhales loudly. Victor is just a friend, and Yuri should get in shape. Get in shape for his health, not for his hot friend. Yuri remembers Victor in a bathing suit. Hot, hot sexy friend... Yuri groans, as he sets his alarm earlier to go swim the next morning.

Friday evening, Yuri sits at his office desk finishing the front matter for a book about to be published.

“You’re still so hard-working…” says a voice behind him. Victor leans on a desk next to him. “I used to feel bad that you studied twice as much as I did, and I still got better grades.”

“Yes, that annoyed me too. How’s your latest chapter coming?” inquires Yuri, hoping to sound professional.

“Come over and see. Bring your laptop, you can work while I make you dinner.”

Yuri and Victor leave the publishing house, and they walk the shadowy streets together quietly. Once they reach Victor’s apartment, Yuri notices several personal details added to the decor. The photographs, the books, even the potted plant looks familiar.

“You moved everything from your apartment in St. Petersburg? I thought you’d only be here a few months…” questions Yuri. Victor waves his hand airily.

“I work better when it feels like home. How do you know this is from my Russian place?” inquires Victor pointedly. Yuri shrugs.

“There was a photo of you in your apartment in a writing magazine,” replies Yuri off hand. Yuri suddenly recognizes an old black notebook in a bookcase. “Your notebook! The one from high school… You were always scribbling in that…”

Yuri picks it up, stroking the cover, as various memories come back to him. Victor grins and says,

“I dared you to read it. You still can, if you want!”

Yuri nods, sits down in a chair, and begins to read.

Victor stops chopping vegetables and watches.

“_Yuri, do you still hate onions_?” Victor asks in Russian.

“_Nyet, I like them now_,” replies Yuri, distractedly. Yuri speaks Russian! And reads Russian. Victor remembers he had met Yuri in Moscow. Victor fantasizes for a moment about how sexy that could be... then stops himself.

“When did you learn Russian?” asks Victor. Yuri replies without looking up,

“In college. My major was in Japanese literature, but I minored in Russian. Between that and my English skills, the publishing company put me in charge of foreign literature.”

Yuri snuggles into the overstuffed chair. He likes this apartment, he feels comfortable here. Plus it smells good. He watches Victor hum as he stirs the vegetables. Then Victor comes over with a spoon to make Yuri taste the sauce, and wipes the corner of Yuri’s mouth. How domestic. Happy. Unlike Victor in high school. Victor was unhappy in high school, Yuri realizes. Victor gives him a searching look. There’s still something that makes Yuri’s breath catch every time their eyes meet. He quickly turns away. Damn, he feels like a fool, hanging on every crumb of attention.

“Dinner is served!” announces Victor. Yuri reluctantly puts down the notebook, and sits at the table. Victor remarks,

“I’m surprised you find my high school writing so engrossing. They were mostly observations.”

Yuri gushes,

“Yes, they’re wonderful little details about the world! It shows how observant and curious you were. You weren’t taken in by people’s facades, and you saw the beauty, as well as the brokenness of the world.”

“Ah, Yuri! Still so romantic and poetic at heart.” Victor takes a bite, then asks, “I was very analytical as well. Did you find my notes on you?”

Yuri chokes for a moment on a piece of noodle.

“You… You wrote about me?”

Victor nods.

“Let’s see, first there was a list of things I liked: your hair, your lips, the way you jutted out your behind before diving in the pool…”

Yuri’s face is priceless. The look of shock is so amusing, Victor continues,

“Things I disliked: your obsession with Yuko, making me do homework, avoiding me…”

Yuri now pales, then Victor finishes with,

“Things that gave me horribly lustful thoughts: you completely wet in a bathing suit, the way you moaned in your sleep when you’d sleep in my bed, or that time you begged me to kiss you…” Victor rubs his lips while remembering. “You seemed so cheery afterwards, and I was so aroused it was painful.” Victor watches Yuri turn various shades of pink to red. “You still blush the same.”

“I... how can you say stuff like… like that!!” protests Yuri desperately. Yuri hides his head in his hands, and orders, “You’re not allowed to talk for the rest of the dinner!”

Victor grins, suddenly struck with an idea.

After dinner, Yuri sits on the couch, working on his laptop. Victor sits at his desk in the spacious living room, and types. Several hours pass, till Yuri finally says,

“I shouldn’t keep you up, I can go home and work on this. This Japanese-American kid has a lot of talent, but he can’t use spellcheck to save his life.”

Victor yawns, and stretches his arms, and purrs,

“You should come over more often, I’m getting so much work done.”

Yuri stretches as well, then winces as he massages his neck.

“I like your place, it’s... homey. But working on the couch hurts my neck.”

“Let me massage it,” offers Victor, standing behind the couch, and running his hand on Yuri’s neck. Yuri panics, stands up, and announces,

“I should go…”

Victor puts his hands up in the air.

“Yuri, relax. I’m not seducing you... well, not tonight,” jests Victor, with a grin.

“You have a boyfriend!” Yuri reminds him.

“About Kenji, he’s in Morocco, making a movie, and...”

“I don’t want to hear anything about him,” grumbles Yuri.

“Actually, I’m trying to tell you something about myself,” insists Victor. But Yuri quickly gathers his things, and turns toward Victor, saying,

“Good night, Victor.”

“Good night for now, Yuri.”


	12. Heat Wave

The next week, Yuri is pleased to receive pages from Victor early Monday morning. He quickly fills out some reports, then clicks happily on the file from Victor, eager to learn where the story goes. As he reads, his face begins to burn.

“Hey, Katsuki-kun, are you watching porn at work?” Kitamura says behind him. Yuri desperately clicks on the file, trying to close it.

“Of course not! I’m editing literature, because I’m the foreign literature editor, and that’s my job, and I’m doing my job at work…” babbles Yuri, turning even more red.

“All right, then, keep working then!” encourages Kitamura, while trying to peek at his screen. Yuri closes his laptop quickly.

“I just need… the bathroom. Therefore I will go to the bathroom. Just for a moment.” Yuri picks up his laptop, and runs into the employee restroom. Kitamura yells after him,

“Why do you need your computer in the bathroom?”

Yuri hides in a bathroom stall with his laptop, feeling like a complete idiot. He should return to his desk, and continue editing another piece of writing. Instead he sits on the edge of the toilet, and reopens Victor’s file. He reads through it quickly, to see if it’s as bad as he originally thought. It’s worse. He closes the file and closes the laptop. Then he sits there for a few more minutes, trying to calm down. He barely gets any work done for the rest of the day, then he goes directly to Victor’s apartment. Victor opens the door, and Yuri barges in, ranting,

“What is this latest piece of writing? Are you trying to kill me?!”

Victor regards him with a puzzled expression.

“Kill you? It’s supposed to be touching, arousing, erotic,” replies Victor. Yuri buries his head in his hands and wails,

“This chapter is pornographic! And I was reading it at work!”

Victor looks pensive, and asks,

“You didn’t like it? I did have some difficulty with the pronouns: his hand on his erection. It’s unclear which boy I’m talking about, and one doesn’t want to overuse personal names…”

“I don’t have a problem with the pronouns! It’s too… overt. I didn’t know you were making the characters gay! Our target reader isn’t necessarily gay, and straight readers shouldn’t be pushed too far. Plus, we don’t want to have a an adult rating!”

Victor pulls out his laptop, and responds agreeably,

“How erotic can I be?”

Yuri is relieved at Victor’s sensible response. He sits on the couch next to Victor.

“There isn’t a clear rule,” admits Yuri. Victor runs his finger on Yuri’s cheek.

“How about caressing a cheek?” asks Victor. Yuri is taken off guard, but nods,

“Fine.”

“Kissing?” inquires Victor. Yuri feels his mouth go dry. He answers,

“Kissing would be nice, I mean, nice to read about.”

Victor nods, and types away for a moment.

“And what about touching?”

“Touching?” squeaks Yuri, closing his eyes. “Touching where?”

Victor watches Yuri, and looks at him up and down.

“What about the back, underneath the shirt?” offers Victor.

“That’s… That’s good. Sensual but,…”

“Sensual butt? Mmm, maybe one finger to explore that tight but pleasurable sensation…”

“_Nai, nai, nai, nai_! Definitely too far!” exclaims Yuri, jumping up, then going over to the window. Great, now he’s going to have to face this window until his erection passes.

“Too far. Yuri, just to be clear, too far for the novel, or too far for you?”

Yuri grimaces at the window.

“Victor, how do you always manage to do this?”

“Do what?”

“Press my buttons! You delight in it.”

“I’m just getting to know you. In high school, you were honest with your feelings, but you didn’t understand them. Now you’re the opposite,” states Victor. Yuri turns his head, but leaves his body towards the window.

“Victor, you’re confusing lack of honesty with normal personal inhibitions. But fine! Your writing, your words, are causing havoc with my body. So if more of these chapters deal with intimate stuff, put a warning on them. And don’t send them to me at work.”

Yuri grabs his bag, places it in front of his pants, and leaves hurriedly.

The next day, Yuri waits til he’s in his apartment to read Victor’s emailed chapter. He reads the latest rewrite, uncomfortable with the latest development between the characters. The taller boy is doing a lot of touching of the shorter one. Yuri can’t help but feel that the taller boy is Victor, the shorter boy represents him. Yuri’s body is aching in need. Yuri chews on a pencil, then opens up Victor’s deleted chapter, the pornographic one. Yuri reads it, and mutters,

“Victor could make a fortune in erotic fiction!”

Then he unzips his pants.

For the rest of the week, Yuri swims lots of laps at Victor’s pool, exercising to deal with the sexual tension. He avoids any work on Victor’s latest chapter. Saturday, he returns to it. Victor has rewritten the story so that the boys are slowly discovering their bodies, and the descriptions are still pretty sensual. Yuri bites his pen, trying to decide how much to censure, not wanting to consult his boss. Then he reads a part about one boy waking up with his hand on the other’s penis, and he shuts the laptop in shock. He packs up, and heads straight to Victor’s apartment.

“You were awake!” yells Yuri, as he barges into the living room.

“I’m waking up.” Victor yawns, and heads to the kitchen. “I was up late writing.” Victor pours them both a cup of coffee. “May I have caffeine before my chastisement?”

“In the chapter… In Kyoto the school trip… When my hand was on your… you were awake!”

A glimmer of understanding comes across Victor’s face, and explains,

“Ah yes. That was a pivotal moment in my life. I’ve journaled about that a lot.”

Yuri frowns, not understanding, he protests,

“Wh… What? Why? I was asleep! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

Victor laughs. He sips his coffee and asks,

“Why are you reacting defensively, like it happened yesterday? Anyway, your hand awakened a hunger I’d never known. I begged Megumi to help me with my lust, but it didn’t work. She accused me of being gay. I began to realize that I needed you for sexual satisfaction. That threw me in a state of confusion, and eventually I admitted she was right.”

Yuri remembers Victor and Megumi in the movie theater. The heavy kissing… he was so upset seeing the two of them... Yuri collapses on the couch,

“I remember, I was jealous... but you wanted... me that night?”

Victor sits next to him and admits,

“Yes. I was jealous too. Yuko finally realized how great you were, and made her move. I didn’t understand why you weren’t happy.”

“I wanted something... I didn’t understand what. But it wasn’t kissing Yuko-chan.”

Victor reaches out to caress Yuri, then he drops his arm. Yuri gently pushes Victor onto the couch, and hugs him. Arms wrap around him, and Yuri feels a kiss on his head. Yuri can hear a heartbeat, and it seems loud. Then one of Victor’s hand runs through his hair, and Yuri props himself up to look at Victor’s face. His motion sends their lower parts rubbing. Victor purses his lips, trying to hold back, but softly moans. The sound breaks the spell, and Yuri quickly gets up.

“Yuri...” begins Victor, looking a bit flustered. Yuri gets a mental image of Victor’s pompous boyfriend. He warns,

“Victor, I’ve trusted you with my most private thoughts and feelings. Keep our history out of the story.” Yuri quickly leaves before Victor can say anymore.

Yuri avoids any contact with Victor for a week. He sits at work, deciding whether to tell his boss that the novel has taken an erotic turn, but not the one his boss wants. When Suzuki finds out... Ugh, who knows what he’ll do. Reluctantly, Yuri checks his email, and he sees Victor has sent him another new chapter. He skims the chapter quickly, relieved to find little sexual content. But as he reads through it again slowly, he feels a whole new kind of ache. The taller boy is falling in love, and the description of small amorous gestures, and awkward intimacy tug at Yuri’s heart. It’s something he’s never really thought about, he’s never really let himself think about. Did Victor love him back then? Yuri shakes himself, and mumbles to his computer,

“What does it matter? Even if Victor did love me, it doesn’t mean anything now.”

Yuri’s phone rings, and he sees Victor’s number.

“_Moshi, moshi_?” responds Yuri, like he did in high school.

“You’re finally speaking to me? It takes you a few days to process emotions. Want to talk about it?”

Yuri looks around the office, figuring out what to say. He confesses in a low voice,

“I feel like I’m sixteen. I’m reliving all these buried emotions. I thought I had moved on, but now... I’m not so sure.”

“I know what you mean. Let me take you to dinner, I’d like to talk more.”

Saturday, Yuri meets Victor and they head towards a new restaurant Victor wants to try.

“Yuri, the whole journey surrounding this novel has been different from what I expected. Meeting you, living in Tokyo, remembering our high school years, and writing… I’d like to explain more about it, maybe I should start at the beginning...”

They are walking along the street, when Yuri suddenly recognizes the neighborhood. They are close to where Josh lives. As if on cue, Yuri sees Josh walking with another man, talking and holding hands. Yuri can’t help but stare at the two men, it’s rare to see men be openly affectionate. Josh sees Yuri, and his demeanor becomes sad. Yuri gives Josh a quick nod, then walks quickly in the opposite direction. Victor follows him with a concerned look.

“Yuri, is your boyfriend cheating on you?”

Yuri shakes his head, and responds,

“No. I broke up with him. But it’s uncomfortable, because he’s still wants me…”

They have a quick meal, then take the train to Yuri’s apartment, and Victor accompanies Yuri to his front door. Yuri bites his lip, deciding what to say... Victor strokes Yuri’s cheek and says,

“You care about Josh. It’s not too late. Josh loves you, and he is making do with someone else when he wants to be with you. Go be happy. Good night.”

Victor leaves, and Yuri enters his apartment and cries,

“No, no, no, no!”

Yuck, why did he let Victor get the wrong idea? It wasn’t Josh he wanted, but Josh’s ease in public.

The next morning, Yuri goes to work with dark circles around his eyes. Even Kitamura leaves Yuri alone. Yuri dives into work, and gets a lot of paperwork done. Then he calls Victor,

“I haven’t received anything from you, where are my pages from this week?”

“Mmm, not done. I’m not well. Give me a few more days,” mumbles Victor on the phone, then hangs up. Yuri continues to work, then at quitting time, stops at a convenience store. He shows up at Victor’s door with a plastic bag full of medication. Victor answers the door still in his pajamas and looking disheveled. Yuri barges in.

“Do you have a fever? Are you nauseous? Sit down for a moment, I’ll take your temperature.”

Yuri notices the whole apartment is dark, and turns on a lamp. Victor sits down petulantly, and shakes his head, protesting,

“Don’t turn on the lights! My eyes hurt.”  
“Okay,” agrees Yuri, flipping the switch off. Victor demands,

“Why are you here? You should take the day off from work, and spend it with Josh.”

Yuri places the thermometer on Victor’s forehead, then frowns as he looks at the reading. He responds,

“You don’t have a fever. Still, put your feet up, I’ll make some soup.”

“It’s a headache. I spent too long staring at my computer screen. I just need to rest my eyes.”

Yuri busies himself in the kitchen, while Victor eyes him warily.

“Yuri...? Yuri? Yuri!”

“What?” finally answers Yuri, distracted.

“What happened with Josh?” asks Victor sourly. Yuri shrugs and replies,

“Nothing. I didn’t see him.”

“Why not?”

“He’s… He’s not the one for me. And I dated him ‘coz... I was lonely. That’s all.”

Victor says,

“I’m sorry. Do you need to talk?”

Yuri shakes his head, and sits on a nearby chair. Then he shrugs again. He admits,

“I just feel… horrible. Like a terrible person. Josh is great in every way. So why am I not in love with him?”

“Why didn’t you fall in love with Asane-san?” asks Victor.

“Asane Chitose from high school? That’s not a fair comparison – she’s a girl.”

“Then... when did you realize you were gay?”

Yuri pauses, and recalls,

“In high school. But not only because of you... Yuko-chan kept getting mad at me ‘coz I wouldn’t have sex with her. I kept telling her I respected her, and we should wait for marriage. She eventually told me she wouldn’t marry me if I didn’t have sex with her. Yuko shouted that loudly in my bedroom at Yutopia, then left.” Yuri sags at the memory. “My mother overheard, she was rather shocked at Yuko’s behavior.”

“So that was the moment?”

“Not quite. My sister came to my room. I don’t know if she overheard, or if my mother shared her concerns. But Mari told me ‘_Don’t marry her if you don’t want to have sex with her_.’ That was it.”

“That was it?”

“Yes. That’s the moment I knew I didn’t want to have sex with Yuko-chan. Nor with any other girl,” responds with a choked up voice. Strange, even after all these years, Yuri still feels devastating loss and failure at not being able to be straight. Yuri closes his eyes, hoping to keep back the tears. “She married the biggest, burliest guy she could find, to avoid another gay man.”

“Oh dear, that’s not a guarantee at all!” exclaims Victor. Yuri almost laughs, but tears spill out anyway.

“Come here,” says Victor, opening up his arms. Yuri hesitates for a moment, then hugs Victor and buries his face in Victor’s shoulder. Victor whispers to him,

“It’s not your fault. We don’t get to choose who we love. We only choose what we do about it. Yuko knows that. She’s still your friend, and she cares about you. Maybe eventually you’ll get the same place with Josh.”

Yuri cries silently on Victor’s shoulder for a few minutes, then eventually stands up and regains his composure.

“Darn! I ruined your shirt,” exclaims Yuri, dabbing at the wet spot on Victor’s shoulder. Victor chuckles.

“Don’t worry so much! It’s just a pajama top.”

“But I’m supposed to take care of you, not use you as a handkerchief!” Yuri purses his lips and remembers, “You were always good at comforting me. Still are.”

“Good. Now I’m going to sleep,” admits Victor wearily, closing his eyes. Yuri fixes some soup, arranges Victor’s pillows, then tells him,

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Anything?” repeats Victor with fake innocence. Yuri looks at him slightly exasperated, but relieved Victor seems in better spirits.

Monday, his boss calls him into his office and demands,

“How is Nikiforov-san’s book coming? Your email updates are cursory.”

“Well... the author has been sick lately, his latest chapter is late. And there is a romantic component, however, it involves the two boys…”

Suzuki groans.

“Shit! Homos?” grumbles Suzuki. Yuri counters,

“Homosexuality is becoming more accepted.”

Suzuki grimaces, but stays silent. Yuri worries that defending this storyline might hurt his career. Then Suzuki orders,

“Get your author back on track, we are moving up the publishing date.”

Yuri steps outside the office, then wipes the sweat off his brow, trembling from the encounter.

By the end of the week, Victor is better, and has emailed him his latest writing. Yuri frowns at it. He checks his calendar, and then re-reads all the documents Victor has sent, from the beginning. Then he calls Victor,

“Victor, my boss needs a new chapter by tomorrow morning. And the stuff you sent me is a rough draft! You’re going to give me an ulcer…”

“Oh, Yuri! Let me see what I can do,” sing songs Victor cheerfully. Yuri hangs up, and continues to work. The next morning, he receives a new chapter from Victor, at 9 a.m. He reads through it quickly, then goes back to work. By mid afternoon, he receives a call from Victor,

“Did your meeting with your boss go okay?”

“Well… there are some issues, though maybe we shouldn’t discuss this over the phone. Are you free this evening?”

“Yes! I’ll make borscht, we haven’t had Russian food in a while.”

Yuri arrives at Victor’s apartment, where Victor has made a red mess cutting beets in the kitchen. It smells great, though. Yuri sits down on the sofa, and waits. Victor announces proudly,

“Come and eat. What issues are you having with my latest chapter?”

Yuri takes a bite, then replies,

“This taste delicious, as usual. So... why haven’t you given me all the chapters you’ve written?”

“All the chapters? What do you mean?” echoes Victor, putting his fork down. Yuri continues,

“I’ve noticed that under pressure, you give me polished well-crafted chapters, within a few hours. Otherwise, you send me random bits of writings, first drafts on topics barely related to the novel. I think you’ve already written this novel, and are stringing me along for some reason.”

Victor tilts his head, and stays silent for several minutes. Then he admits,

“I wrote most of it last year, but I’ve been rewriting since meeting you again. But I can’t finish – I’m having trouble with the ending.”

Yuri takes a deep breath, and asks with a bit of an edge,

“Why the deception?”

“I wanted to spend time with you.”

“Huh, what!? Why?”

“I was curious what had become of my best friend from high school.”

“But… you could have… spent time with me after work…?” says Yuri incredulously. Victor tilts his head, and adds,

“You’re a brilliant editor, I thought my writing would benefit from your input.”

“So… So… now that you’ve spent time with me, now what?” sputters Yuri. Victor ponders for a moment,

“Maybe we could relive the past and a have a proper sleepover.”

“_Nai, nai, nai, nai_!” protests Yuri. Victor tilts his head puzzled.

“No? Why not?”

“It would be dark, and you’d be close, and...” Yuri closes his eyes. “I’d kiss you.”

“I’d like to kiss you.”

Victor smiles, and takes another bite of food. Yuri wags his finger at him,

“You can’t! You’re not allowed. You forget your horrible boyfriend, in Morocco…” says Yuri, like Morocco it’s an icky word. Victor shakes his head. Victor continues,

“You’re irritated anytime I mentioned Kenji.” Yuri frowns but still says nothing. “Yuri?”

Yuri huffs, and counters,

“Your boyfriend is successful and handsome. Does it matter if I don’t like him?”

“Why don’t you like him?”

“You’re a writer! How could he possibly not be interested in the core of who you are!”

“You mean like you?” inquires Victor. Yuri stops, uncertain of what Victor is saying.

“What do you mean like me?”

“Aren’t you interested in me?”

Yuri sits there in shock, not expecting this at all.

“Victor, I’m not ready for this conversation… Your boyfriend…”

“See? That’s what you get for avoiding the topic. Kenji and I decided to part ways before he left for Morocco. He didn’t want to feel guilty for cheating on me with some desert dweller.”

“You’re free!? Wait, you’ve been available all this time? I could’ve…”

“You could have…?” repeats Victor curiously.

“I could’ve... worked late with you more often,” finishes Yuri lamely. Victor tells him unconvinced,

“That’s not what you were going to say. Out with it.”

“I could have touched you. So many times, I desperately wanted to touch you…”

Yuri doesn’t remember moving, but now they are both standing and Victor is finally kissing him. Lips, mouth, it’s so familiar, yet different from when they were younger. Victor tastes better than he remembers. Those soft lips feel divine. Victor’s touch is more assured, more sensual. Yuri tilts his head backwards, as Victor does a trail of kisses along his neck. Yuri moans, more loudly than he means to. Victor gives a short laugh.

“I can finally kiss you properly,” shares Victor, followed by another kiss. Surprised, Yuri asks,

“You... You’ve been wanting to kiss me?”

Victor looks at him disbelievingly and tells him,

“I’ve been flirting with you shamelessly.”

Yuri looks at him wide eyed,

“Since when?”

“Since the company party.” Victor adds,“Yuko told me you were only casually dating Josh.”

Yuri stares at him dumbfounded.

“Huh?” Yuri stares at him in disbelief. “Then why didn’t you say something sooner!?”

“First, you wouldn’t admit you were gay, then you said you had a boyfriend. I thought either you were developing real feelings for Josh, or you wanted an excuse to stay away from me,” explains Victor. Yuri searches for the words.

“Honestly, you… had a boyfriend and I didn’t want to seem like a... desperate lonely guy.”

Victor seems a little disappointed by the response. He confesses,

“In high school, it hurt to be a stand-in, your practice person.”

Yuri looks surprised, and Yuri gently kisses Victor’s cheek.

“You’re not practice anymore. You’re... my... uh... fantasy dream guy,” admits Yuri embarrassed. Victor seems pleased by that, and inquires,

“You fantasized about me?”

“Uh... I might have imagined a scenario,” murmurs Yuri, pulling Victor closer.

Victor kisses him. Yuri deepens the kiss, then presses himself against Victor, causing them to fall on the couch.

“You still taste so sweet... and still so eager. When did _you_ want to kiss me?” questions Victor. Yuri sucks on the pale neck a bit, then murmurs,

“Airport...” Yuri nips Victor shoulder. “You hugged me and...”

“And...?”

“I wanted you.”

They kiss some more, and Yuri starts unbuttoning Victor’s shirt, but Victor’s hand stops him. Victor hesitates, then whispers,

“Yuri, I’d like to take you to bed. Any objections?”

Yuri realizes he’s clenching Victor shirt like he’s drowning. He says through the haze,

“Uuuuh… yes, I mean no, I’m really attracted to you,” confesses Yuri breathlessly, hoping Victor doesn’t stop touching him. Victor’s hands are wandering over his back. Victor chuckles again.

“Lucky for me, you’re easy to read. Your ears turn red when you’re aroused, which happens a most satisfying amount in my presence. Are you ready for something we never did in high school…”

Yuri gulps. Oh gosh... bottoming? Bondage?

“Wh… What did you have in mind?”

“Getting naked,” whispers Victor near Yuri’s ear.

“Naked?” repeats Yuri in a barely audible tone. Yuri can feel his face flushing. Victor’s smile turns a little wicked.

“But you no longer have any problems with nudity,” adds Victor. Yuri closes his eyes and says,

“Uh. Of course not...”

Victor nods and unbuttons his own shirt and then undoes his pants.

“Oh my...” gasps Yuri. “You’re not wearing underpants!”

Victor leaves his pants on. He runs his hand through his hair, then asks,

“How many lovers have you had?”

Yuri bites a fingernail, and answers,

“A few, but it doesn’t matter! Whenever I’m with you I feel like I’m sixteen again...”

Victor shakes his head, and leads Yuri to the bedroom. Victor opens one of his dressers, and hands Yuri a pajama set. Then he finds another one, and heads to the bathroom.

“We’re back to the previous plan. We’re having a sleepover.”

Yuri stares at his borrowed pajamas disappointed. He feels like someone has stolen his candy away. This might have been his one chance to have sex with Victor – and he blew it. Yuri quickly changes into the pajamas, slightly uncomfortable with the elastic pinching his midsection. He rolls up the sleeves and sits on the edge of Victor’s bed, kicking his feet nervously.


	13. November Rain

Victor comes back in, get under the covers, and pats the bed next to him. Yuri gets under the covers, and turns out the light. It begins to rain outside, there’s a faint drumming on the window.

“Now what?” Yuri says petulantly, still disappointed. Not only he doesn’t get sex, but he has to sleep next to hot Victor while they talk?

“You’re upset,” declares Victor. Yuri accuses him,

“You’re a tease! And you don’t have to treat me like a kid just because I’m nervous...”

Victor smiles runs a hand through his hair, and admits,

“I’m not. Actually... I’m a bit nervous too.”

“You are?”

“I really want this to go well... Tell me what you’ve done. In bed.”

Yuri gazes at Victor mouth, desperately wanting to kiss more, and replies,

“Oh. Um, mostly hands and mouth. I tried bottoming, it was… okay. Do we have to talk about this?”

“Yes.” Victor runs his fingers on Yuri’s knuckles, then caresses Yuri’s cheek. “You’re special to me. And you’re my friend. I’m not trying to have a quick hook up. What turns you on?”

Yuri bites his lip and responds,

“I don’t know.”

Victor gives him a raised eyebrow. There’s a silence. Finally, Yuri looks away and reluctantly admits,

“You. Breathing. Looking at me. Or when you smile...”

Victor licks his lips and whispers,

“You’re getting kissed for saying that,” and Victor assaults Yuri’s lips, til Yuri groans in frustration.

“May I…?” checks Victor, making a motion of exploring under the covers.

“You want that kind of sleepover?” asks Yuri, suddenly hopeful. Victor nods, and says,

“I was just slowing things down, not stopping.”

“Oh good!” exclaims Yuri. Victor chuckles. Then Yuri gulps as Victor lets his hand wander under the sheet towards the bulge in Yuri’s pants. Yuri moans softly as Victor caresses his penis through the material. He wishes Victor would remove his pajamas...

“Do you prefer being caressed with a hand, or being sucked on by mouth?”

“Huh?” The hand is caressing the whole area between his legs. “Hand. I... I don’t want to dirty your mouth,” admits Yuri. Victor returns to caress his penis, as he gives Yuri and opened mouth kiss with a bit of tongue. Victor whispers,

“I’d like to change your mind. May I?”

“Uh, yeah, oooh... I don’t care what you do, Victor, just don’t stop…”

Victor pulls Yuri’s erect penis out of the pajamas, stroking it will and giving it a few licks on the side.

“Yuri, I want you to dirty my mouth. I want to swallow your whole cock, and have it explode in my mouth.”

Victor puts the penis in his mouth, and Yuri arches his back involuntarily thrusting. He grabs the sheets, and feels his body convulse. As Yuri comes back to his senses, he’s shocked to see Victor lick his lips and swallow.

“Want to taste?”

Yuri hesitantly comes close to Victor, and gives him tentative kiss. Victor smiles, and kisses Yuri more deeply. There is an acrid taste in Victor’s mouth. It’s disgusting, and wrong and... a turn on.

“Victor… Um, what do you prefer?” Yuri inquires bashfully. Victor seems pleased at the question.

“Mmm, depends on my mood. I’d like to watch you ride me, but we’re not there yet. Would you be comfortable with undressing me, and caressing me with your hands?”

“That’s it?”

“You said you fantasized about me. Tell me about it.”

Yuri begins unbuttoning Victor’s pajama top.

“That would be… really embarrassing.”

“Why? Do you have an unusual kink? ”

“... Oh, uh, maybe? I don’t exactly know what other people fantasize about…”

Victor waits, and Yuri decides to distract Victor by caressing Victor’s erection through the pajama bottoms. Victor moans a bit, but is still watching Yuri with those piercing blue eyes. It’s like a truth serum, Yuri finds the words just pouring out of his mouth,

“So we are both _Shinsengumi_, samurai sent on a special clandestine mission for the shogun. I’m dressed like a female prostitute, and you’re pretending to be my samurai client. We go into a brothel, and try to get information, but when our target gets suspicious…”

Yuri trails off, feeling self-conscious. Victor responds,

“Wow. There’s a backstory. When is the sex part?”

Yuri gulps.

“Oh, uh... so you kiss me, and grab my behind. I play along, and open up your coat. I think you’re just acting, then you throw some coins to the head lady, and drag me into a private room.” Yuri opens up Victor’s pajama top, and caresses his chest. “Your chest is all white, and muscled, and you tear open my kimono.” Victor grabs some lube, put some on Yuri’s fingers, and guides his hand onto Victor’s penis. Yuri slowly strokes it, looking uncertain.

“Loosen up a little,” instructs Victor. “Continue your story.”

“You penetrate me slowly, but I’m so turned on, I want to go fast.”

“Spread your legs…”

“Oh, I’m not ready...”

“I’m going to place my dick between your legs, not inside you. Is that okay?”

“Oh. Sure.”

Yuri feels a warm slickness between his legs as they hug, and continues,

“You bury yourself deep inside me, and I hear voices… We need to stop, we’re gonna get caught. But it feels so good, and I start to cry out,” continues Yuri. It’s a rush to see Victor is moaning, and coming quickly.

Afterwards, they lie next to each other and Yuri presses his head against Victor’s. He can’t believe he told Victor one of his Victor fantasies. His friend must think he’s a total dweeb. Still, it was kind of hot... He asks softly,

“Am I too weird?”

“No. I’ve always liked how weird you are,” replies Victor with a chuckle.

“Did you… Did you program me or something? I like men, but… everything with you is just more intense. Maybe because you were my first…?”

“Yeah, maybe. In high school, every touch was forbidden. Now you’re out, so it’s not as charged.”

“Is that what turns you on with me?”

“Partly. But... this is different from my other relationships. When I’m with you, I feel so many things. Relaxed, but excited, comfortable, but unsure. I want to do sexy intimate things with you, but I feel a lot of tenderness and caring too.”

“I know what you mean. Victor… I finally get to sleep with you…”

Yuri hugs him, as he falls asleep.

Victor gives Yuri a quick kiss on the lips, and hugs him close. Victor takes a deep breath, and tries to sleep. But his brain is spinning with thoughts. Getting close to Yuri feels right, yet it’s a gamble. Yuri hasn’t had many relationships. What does Yuri want from Victor? Somehow, Victor has a premonition they are going to completely replay high school. And in the end, Yuri will leave him for someone else. Probably that big Aussie with the boyish charm. Josh. The name makes him sigh. Is he doing the right thing?

The morning after, Victor wakes up alone. Yuri probably left early, needing to go to work. Victor sits at his computer, types out a few sentences, but quickly gives up. He gets dressed, then heads to Maruyama Publishing. He stops at Yuri’s desk, and places his hand on Yuri’s arm.

“Shall I take you to lunch?”

Yuri turns red and whispers,

“Not in front of my coworkers.”

Victor removes his hand, taken aback. In London, no one cared who he touched.

“It’s just like high school...” Victor stops, remembering the Japanese don’t touch in public, even lovers or married people.

“Yes. I’d feel more comfortable if we’d go out for lunch.”

They sit at a small café, and Victor remarks,

“I keep forgetting how conservative you are.”

Yuri nods and confesses,

“After you left high school, there were rumors about us being gay. I was bullied, until Yuko-chan put an end to it.”

“Oh no! I’m sorry I left you to deal with that.”

A few days later, Yuri comes over with his laptop and looks at the screen blankly while Victor cooks. He tries to work, but he keeps glancing over at Victor. Victor is checking the oven with his butt sticking out. Nice. He imagines Victor losing his pants, saying ‘_Oops..._’ Or maybe Victor could cook only wearing an apron... Ugh. Yuri taps his face and pushes away his laptop, irritated to be unable to focus.

“What is your next novel going to be about?” asks Yuri. Victor taps his lips then replies,

“Mmm. Maybe a story in London.”

“Picaresque? Sentimental?” continues Yuri. Victor responds with a sudden grin,

“Gothic would be fun – and fit that foggy location.”

“Why London?”

“I moved there at 17. London is the gay capital of Europe. It has gay bars, gay sex toy shops, a gay book shop... For the first time, I felt that being gay was okay, not a terrible curse.”

“Oh.” Of course. So Victor will move to London next. Yuri replies a bit defensively, “I like Tokyo. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”

“Then maybe I should stay here and write BL manga...”

“No, no. Bad idea,” says Yuri disapprovingly.

“Why? You don’t think I’d be good at it?” whines Victor with wounded pride. Yuri rolls his eyes.

“You shouldn’t squander your talent on that!” Yuri relents at Victor’s puppy eyes. “Though, hum, if you’d like to add another chapter to the high school story for my personal consumption ...”

“You liked my erotic chapter?” asks Victor with a sudden smile. Yuri hedges,

“I may have read it, you know, when I was... uh, lonely.”

“Mmm. Show me what you do when you’re lonely,” requests Victor with a twinkle in his eyes. Yuri shakes his head. Victor continues, “Why not?”

“Embarrassing.”

“And hot... when you let yourself, you’re very sexy...”

Yuri collapses into his chair, and groans.

“I need to work! So no more sex talk.”

Yuri straightens himself up, and adjusts his laptop screen. There is silence in the kitchen, and he looks around and sees Victor quickly scanning through an old book. Victor marks a page, and goes to sit on the couch. He pats the cushion next to him, and says,

“Take a short break. I found one that reminds me of you…”

Yuri sits down obediently, then listens to Victor read,

_The waves are gathered _  
On the shore of Sumi Bay,   
And in the gathered night,   
  
When in dreams I go to you,   
I hide from people’s eyes. 

Yuri gives Victor a look of disbelief, and bites his lip, feeling his whole body beginning to burn. Victor remarks huskily,

“I can’t believe that still works… You’re still a sucker for poetry! Why is that?”

“Because...” Yuri sighs, still melting. “You... argh, I don’t have the words.”

Yuri stands up shakily, then kisses Victor, letting all his pent up need out, as they undress. Yuri doesn’t get any work done for the rest of the evening.

Victor doesn’t hear from Yuri for the rest of the week. Finally on Friday, Victor receives a text message:

_ – Hope to see you on Saturday._

Late Saturday Victor knocks on Yuri’s apartment door. Yuri answers, still in work clothes, Yuri gives him a apologetic look, and a tired sigh. Yuri begins to explain,

“The situation at work…”

“No apology. Make it up to me.”

Yuri blinks, then inquires,

“Fancy dinner? Foot massage?”

“Sex. Now.”

“Oh. That sounds nice...” Yuri looks at his crumpled work clothes. “Let me freshen up.”

Yuri disappears into the bathroom, and Victor hears the sound of a shower going. The sound stops, but Yuri doesn’t come out. Victor lies on bed waiting, getting more and more sleepy. He opens one of the bins under the bed, snooping out of curiosity. He finds a box of condoms, a bottle of lube, a box of extra soft tissues and a binder of pictures. Probably porn. Victor opens the binder, and finds reproductions of historical woodblock paintings showing guys having sex. Some are in kimono, some are wearing old-fashioned soldier outfits. _Shunga_, or paintings of spring. There’s also a book called _The Great Mirror of Male Love_. Probably erotic fiction. Victor opens it up, and reads about samurai men and kabuki actors having relationships. It’s more dramatic than erotic. Disappointed, Victor closes the book. He checks his watch. Then worried, he knocks on the bathroom door.

“Are you asleep in there?”

“No… uh, I am… just a few more minutes.”

It’s late, Victor’s considers putting on his coat and leaving. But Yuri emerges from the bathroom, wearing a robe, his hair still shiny and damp from the shower.

“Why are you taking so long? Are you... avoiding me?”

Yuri seems surprised by the sad tone. He comes over and gives Victor a kiss. Then he admits,

“You said you’d like me to bottom. I had to prepare… It took longer than I thought it would. I’m not used to it. Or maybe I’m just really tired.”

Victor feels like an idiot. Yuri was probably trying to figure out how to use an enema. It’s not like Victor to act so insecure.

“Victor? Do you still want to do stuff?”

“Tell me you want me.”

Yuri giggles nervously.

“I definitely want you,” he says, and throws off the bathrobe. It’s not a particularly sexy move, but earnest and sweet. Mollified, Victor takes Yuri’s in his arm and kisses him deeply. He lets Yuri undress him, and it feels good to cuddle their naked bodies. Yuri is kissing his neck slowly, obviously sleepy.

“Um, should I try to ride you?” asks Yuri tentatively. Victor shakes his head.

“Not right away. Lie on your side, let me pleasure you first.”

Victor puts lube on his fingers, then explores Yuri’s hole.

“Oh, oh, oooooooooh,” moans Yuri, and jutting his behind. Victor runs his other hand on the plump rear, admiring it. Yuri whispers, “Would you...”

“Would I what?”

“Put your mouth on me,” whispers Yuri, looking embarrassed at his request. Victor reaches under the bed, pulls out a condom and puts it on. He opens the binder to the page with the soldiers.

“I knew you liked old poetry. I didn’t know you were obsessed with antique porn.”

Yuri turns beet red, and explains,

“Uh... I like my fantasies to have proper historical detail…”

“Would you like to do that position?” Victor inquires. Yuri frowns, still not understanding,

“But that’s a Japanese soldier topping a Russian soldier... it was used as propaganda.”

Victor gets on his knees, then applies a condom and some lube to his penis. Victor sees Yuri’s eyes go wide as he finally comprehends the situation. Yuri is still hesitating, when Victor says,

“Next time we’ll cosplay it with you doing me, I’ll rent the uniforms.”

Yuri feels his jaw drop. Uniforms... that pushes Yuri over the edge, he’s so turned on... Yuri kneels and feels Victor caress his back and kiss his neck. Then he pulls Victor’s body towards him and guiding Victor’s penis inside. Victor narrates,

“I’m not taking you by force. I’m a Russian captain, and you’re my Japanese prisoner. I sneaked into your cell ‘coz you keep watching me…” Yuri groans as Victor slowly enters him. Victor continues to murmur things, while Yuri gasps,

“Oh...” The feeling is intense, pain and pleasure, “Captain Nikiforov...”

“You feel amazing...” murmurs Victor, slowly pulling out and pushing back in. “You’re my captive now,” adds Victor in a thick Russian accent.

“Oooh, I love...” begins Yuri as the rhythm increases.

“... love...?” echoes Victor, then pushes back in, and Yuri feels a wave of pleasure nearing...

“.... oh, I mean, I love MOTHER RUSSIA!!” yells Yuri, feeling a deep orgasm overcoming him, and Victor grabs him as he comes as well. Victor giggles, and cleans himself, as Yuri disappears into the restroom covering his burning face.

Afterwards, Yuri sits on the bed, unable to look Victor in the eye. He feels that familiar stroke on his cheek, and Victor says tenderly,

“Tell me what’s troubling you.”

“That was embarrassing. I don’t usually yell patriotic slogans,” confesses Yuri meekly. Victor smiles.

“I liked your... enthusiasm for the role playing.”

“It’s just… It’s just you’re peeling me like an onion, revealing me layer by layer. And you talk, and I... uh, talked... during sex. I thought sex was supposed to be... quiet.”

“Am I pushing you into stuff you don’t want, or like?”

“You push me, but I like it. I’ve never had the nerve to try much before. Did you know that was my favorite erotic drawing?”

“No. But I’m not surprised. I pay attention to the clues you give me. You haven’t talked much in bed?”

“Nope. I’m realizing I don’t talk much about most things. I’m good at avoidance.” Yuri looks up into Victor’s eyes. “I’m good at hurting people too.”

“I forgive you, you know that. Come here.”

Yuri snuggles closer, feeling like he’s back where he belongs.

A few days later, Victor takes the train, and walks up to a small house, and knocks on the door. Yuko opens the door wearing an apron, and carrying a huge laundry bundle. She startles for a moment, then says,

“Oh hey, help me hang the laundry to dry. We can talk while we work.”

Victor nods, and helps her put the wet items on the poles. There are a lot of little girl clothing items.

“Okay, what happened,” orders Yuko, “I’m sorry to be rude, but the my girls got glitter on all our clothes...”

“Yuri and I are are starting to… date. You’re his best friend… I’m hoping you’ll support us.”

“Are you here just a short time?”

“It kind of depends on what happens with Yuri.”

“Then sure. I just want him to be happy,” answers Yuko. She shakes out some pants, and hangs them. “He hasn’t dated much since coming out in college.”

“Mmm. Except for Josh?”

“For the first year, Yuri wouldn’t tell me who he was dating, he still felt guilty about leaving me. Yuri has trouble accepting being gay in a straight world. He wants a wife and kids, and a little house. In high school, he proposed to me, did you know that? He would’ve married me, if I hadn’t pushed him away.”

“Actually, Yuri decided to marry you in middle school. He used to talk about you incessantly, the main reason I disliked you so much.”

Yuko laughs.

“That’s ironic! After you left, Yuri talked of you all the time. Is Victor all right? Is Victor gonna contact me? Why did Victor leave? Victor, Victor, Victor!”

Yuko stands for a moment. Then she gathers up the laundry basket and says,

“Yuri needs to come out in his whole life.”

“Even at work?” asks Victor. Yuko shrugs.

“Well… I’m not sure about that.”

“Yuko-san, I’m so sorry I was mean to you in high school. Thank you for taking care of Yuri.”

She smiles and mischievously adds,

“You owe me one! I’ll call you if I need a babysitter.”

Victor laughs, then waves goodbye and quickly leaves.

Yuri removes his glasses, and rubs his eyes. He’s surprised by several notifications on the social media. He clicks on his page, and sees several happy birthday posts. Oh. He’s completely forgotten about that. The one from Yuko is especially worrisome.

_ – We’ll meet you at the regular place, regular time._

The last several birthdays, Yuko takes him out to a special cafe. But Victor will probably expect to go as well. That might be awkward, Victor and Yuko didn’t get along in high school. He texts the info to Victor, and tries not to think about it.

At the end of the day, Yuri checks the time. He needs to hurry, he’s going to be late.

“Katsuki-kun! C’mon, I’m taking you out for your birthday!” announces Kitamura.

“How do you know it’s my birthday?” demands Yuri.

“Ito-san in human resources...”

“I can’t go with you, I already have plans with my friends,” excuses Yuri.

“No problem! I’ll go with you.”

“No really, you shouldn’t...” protests Yuri weakly, already defeated.

Kitamura sticks to him anyway. They arrive late at the cafe, and Yuri sees Yuko and Victor sitting on the floor at a low table... with Josh. Yuri freezes, but Kitamura cheerfully and loudly says,

“I’m looking forward to meeting your friends...” Kitamura trails off. He whispers hoarsely, “What is this place?”

“Yuko-chan’s idea of the best way to celebrate my birth. A Bunny Cafe.”

Yuko, Victor and Josh each have a small pink blanket on their lap, and a white, beige or brown rabbit on their laps. None of them are talking. Kitamura introduces himself quietly,

“Kitamura Tsuyoshi, pleased to meet you. I’m his sempai at work.”

“Ohashi Yuko, I’m a childhood friend,” Yuko introduces herself.

“Josh Jones, from Australia. I teach English here in Tokyo,” says Josh.

“Victor Nikiforov, I knew Yuri in high school, we are friends!” Victor says a bit too cheerfully.

Yuri plops down and orders the curry rice, and the waitress places a pink blanket on Yuri’s lap. Yuri grabs the nearest rabbit, a long haired gray, and pets it. Kitamura sits down nervously and declines the blanket. A tiny speckled white puffball hops near him, and he squirms in discomfort. He makes a shooing motion, but the puffball edges nearer to him, sniffing.

“Eeek!” squeals Kitamura. Josh scoops the puffball into his lap, and Kitamura exhales in relief. Yuri stares at his coworker in disbelief. Who would have thought the loudmouth is scared of bunnies?

“Really Kitamura-san? They’re harmless and cute,” remarks Yuri. Victor nods, and says,

“So adorable, look my bunny is the cutest, look at these long foofy ears...” Victor shows the bunny to Kitamura. Kitamura recoils. Josh frowns and defends him,

“They have vicious teeth... it’s reasonable to keep at a distance.”

Victor reaches over to pat the bunny in Yuri’s lap. Yuri gives Victor a little headshake, and Victor pouts in response.

Thankfully the waitress brings the curry, with the rice shaped like a bunny head munching on carrots, sitting in a pool of gravy.

“Yum!” exclaims Yuri. Yuko smiles.

“Happy birthday, my bunny friend!” says Yuko. Kitamura stares at Yuri’s food, and pales. Yuri asks,

“Now what?”

“Your meal... it looks like a rabbit!” wails Kitamura. “Too many critters...”

Kitamura waves goodbye and hurries out the door. Josh gets up and follows, saying,

“Happy birthday, Yuri-chan. I’ll see you around.”

Yuri grabs his head with two hands, and breathes a huge sigh of relief.

“I can’t believe Kitamura followed me here… And why was Josh here?”

Yuko apologizes,

“That’s my fault again. I had told him months ago about this tradition, I certainly didn’t expect him to show up after you guys broke up!”

Yuko picks up her bunny, and shows it off to Victor. Yuri looks at the two of them and asks tentatively,

“Are you two... okay with each other?”

Yuko says cheerfully,

“Of course! The literature club is up and running again.”

Yuri smiles, and hugs his bunny.

“Good. My two best friends together is the best birthday present!”


	14. December Lights

**Winter**

Friday evening, Yuri is still at his desk working. He’s been working late every night, and hasn’t talked to Victor in days. Kitamura stops by his desk, and tells him,

“Come and have a beer with me!”

Yuri shakes his head.

“Don’t you have work to do? You shouldn’t have time to bother me,” replies Yuri with a sigh, giving his desk piled with papers a discouraged look. He packs up, and heads out the door. Once outside, he sees Victor come towards him, looking at him sternly. Yuri apologizes,

“I’m on my way home, but I still have lots of work to do…”

“You can work at my apartment. Otherwise, I’m kissing you here, in public,” threatens Victor. Yuri imagines the shocked onlookers, and follows quickly. He whispers back,

“Please don’t!”

They get in the front door, when Victor quickly slams the door shut and presses Yuri against the wall. He slaps the wall in frustration, wondering if Yuri wants to dump him already. Yuri drops his briefcase, and pulls Victor into a kiss. Wow. It makes his knees weak when Yuri takes the lead. Victor forgets his irritation, and kisses Yuri back, passionately. After a few minutes, Victor backs up and asks,

“So how was our encounter last time?”

Yuri is fumbling with Victor’s shirts tiny buttons, and replies,

“Good.”

Victor stops Yuri’s hands, and asks again,

“I’d like more detail. Please.”

“Do you want a critique? A yelp review? I enjoyed your lovemaking, I want to do it again. You’ve improved since high school... I’d like more licking and less sucking?”

Victor suppresses a laugh, then makes clear,

“More details about your emotional state. You disappeared for days, I’d like to know why…”

Yuri unbuttons his own shirt, and replies,

“After.”

Then he pulls Victor into the bedroom.

Yuri wakes up confused about where he is. Naked, I’m naked, and Victor is naked, and they did lots of erotic things. Yuri takes the pillow, and hides his face in it. He hears Victor say,

“Are you ready to talk?”

“No, not really… but, we should get it over with.”

“Oh. That sounds ominous. Are you having regrets?”

Yuri speaks through the pillow,

“No. I’ve been wanting… this, you, for a long time. I just hadn’t imagined the morning after. The part where I have to go home and pretend everything still the same.”

“And why are you pretending everything’s the same?”

“You’re revisiting the past. Writing the book, sleeping with me – you’re obviously coming to terms with your high school years. Once you’re done writing, you’ll move on to your next project. I’m expecting the speech where you say ‘_It’s been fun, but I need to leave._’ But I’m stuck. I’ve been stuck since high school. And I don’t know what to about it.”

“Stop being so vague, Yuri. Why are you stuck? You’ve made great strides in your life since high school. You have friends, a great career, and dates...”

There is a long minute of silence, then Yuri blurts out,

“But I’m obsessed with you! I dated Yuko while thinking about you. I made her miserable! I studied Russian in college, I joined a publishing company instead of teaching at a college because you might become a writer. Look above my desk… I had pictures of you all over it. I’m a pathetic stalker!”

Victor seems stunned by the outburst, yet Yuri plunges forward and whispers,

“I’m... I’m in love with you. I loved you back then, I love you now.”

The words seem to hang there, and Yuri remembers all those girls pouring their hearts out to Victor.

Oh yuck. Victor is going to hate him now. There’s a long silence, then Victor acknowledges,

“Wow. That was a confession.”

Yuri pounds his pillow.

“Yes. Darn! I haven’t wanted to say anything. I didn’t want to be your confession of the day.”

Victor takes a deep breath, then exhales loudly.

“In high school, I was in love with you. It was torture. The way you smiled at me, it made me tongue-tied. I kept wanting to tell you, to be honest with you, but you didn’t want to hear it – you wanted to be friends. So I left you love notes, love poems. You never mentioned them.”

Yuri’s eyes turn wide. He protests,

“The tanka? I thought they were from Yuko.” Yuri bites his lip nervously, then asks, “What about now? Do you have feelings for me now?”

Victor hesitates, then looks at Yuri directly.

“I have to be honest. After finding out you were gay, I went home and kept thinking about you. My old feelings came flooding back. I didn’t know if the two of us could have a relationship as adults, but... I needed to find out.” Victor hangs his head, looking conflicted. “But then Josh called me…”

“Josh called you? When?” interrupts Yuri disbelievingly. Victor admits,

“The morning after the company party. Josh pleaded with me to leave, he knew I was after you. I promised him I wouldn’t take you to bed for a month, to give him a chance to win you back.”

“You both thought I’d have sex with you!? Thanks a lot,” grumbles Yuri.

“We both knew you’re attracted to me. But I’m glad we waited. Anyway, I found other creative ways of pursuing you.”

Yuri’s eyes go wide, and he accuses Victor,

“Those horrible erotic chapters…” Yuri covers his head in his hand. “You’re right. I take it back. I can’t be in love with you, you’ve been messing with me.”

Victor waits for Yuri to raise his head again.

“I’ve fallen in love with you again, Yuri.” Victor tilts his head. “Though... maybe I didn’t stop, I just forced myself to forget you.”

Yuri opens his eyes,

“Say that again. Maybe I’m hallucinating...”

Victor feels a bubble of hope swell in his chest.

“Yuri… Yuri! You’re not a stalker… Maybe we’re soulmates, and you desperately missed me. I’m a writer, I can rewrite our story.” Victor gives Yuri a quick kiss, then continues in Russian, “_Ya lyubye tebya._”

Yuri blushes pink, and gives him a happy look.

“I love you too,” replies Yuri, giving Victor another kiss.

The following Saturday night, Victor grimaces at the cold dinner sitting on his table. It’s official, Yuri has avoided him for another whole week. As usual, Yuri has sent him an email apologizing for needing to work late. Is Yuri afraid of commitment? Victor takes a bite of udon noodles, then sits as his computer and writes. Victor writes all weekend. Monday morning, he considers emailing his chapters. Instead he downloads them on a jump drive, and walks over to the publishing company. He enters the office and sees Yuri is sitting at his desk, surrounded by piles of papers, and typing away with that little frown he gets when he’s concentrating. Victor is about to go forward, when he hears Kitamura tell Yuri,

“Katsuki-kun! Hey, go out with me tonight!”

Yuri hisses,

“Hush. Aren’t you ever able to be discreet? What do you want?”

“Time with you. After all, you’re not dating anyone, are you?” Kitamura inquires.

“No. You know I’m swamped.”

“Mmm, well, I’ll bring you food at noon again. Pork buns and a green tea. You’d starve without me,” acknowledges Kitamura, rustling Yuri’s hair. Yuri scowls at the touch, but says nothing. Victor crosses his arms and leaves.

A week later, Yuri sits at his desk, worried about Victor. Victor is still stalled in the last chapter. He hasn’t written anything in weeks, and he’s not responding to calls or emails. Yuri’s boss gives him a stern lecture, and in desperation, Yuri contacts Yuko. He invites her to a fancy café. He sits down and says,

“I hate to ask you for a favor, but I’m having trouble with Victor.”

“I want the full reward.”

Yuko gives him a serious look. He squirms then nods,

“But I can’t help you...”

Then she orders,

“The cookie waffle fruit and choco decadence parfait, please.”

Yuri sighs. It’s the most expensive desert on the menu, and it’s huge. She smiles, then says,

“Fine. What kind of trouble?”

Yuri begins,

“He’s not finishing his book, and I’m not sure how to approach it. I’m his editor, but I’m also his boyfriend.”

“Have you spent time with him lately, as his boyfriend?” she asks pointedly.

“Uh, well, not much. I have too much work,” Yuri defends himself. Yuko rolls her eyes, and answers,

“The thing is, Yuri, you’re afraid of Victor leaving again. So is your problem an editorial one? Or a boyfriend one?”

Yuri looks at her stunned.

“Am I that obvious?” Yuri drops his head, deflated. Yuko sighs, and pats Yuri’s hand.

“I’m sorry! I know you’re dedicated to your work. I just don’t want Victor to leave without you giving this a real try. Now ask me how I’m doing...”

The waitress brings a giant dessert cup, decorated with cookies, fruit and jellies, and lots of whipped cream. Yuko takes a big bite, and offers another spoon to Yuri. He shakes his head, and asks,

“Now that the triplets are older, are you applying to medical school?”

Yuko replies,

“My husband thinks I should.” She smiles ruefully and admits, “I’m not sure I can handle it though.”

“You should at least try… If you can manage three girls, you can manage medical school!”

“Thanks.” Yuko looks at Yuri’s hand. She exclaims, “Hey! You’re still wearing that ring I gave you! Why?”

“Oh... to discourage the office ladies at work.”

“Really? Maybe you should try being more honest at work,” she recommends tentatively. She takes one last bite, and pushes the half eaten dessert away. Yuri tugs the ring off, and examines it.

Yuri pounds on Victor’s apartment door. No answer. Yuri leaves the building, goes to a flower shop. He collects a large bouquet, and hides his face behind it and rings the doorbell. Victor opens the door a little bit with a pink sleeping mask on his forehead.

“Oh, pretty flowers. Put them down over there, I’ll get a tip,” whispers Victor. He grabs some yen, and hands it to Yuri. Yuri takes the money, places the flowers into Victor’s arms, and closes the door. Victor responds by saying, “Uh oh.”

Yuri checks the apartment. The lights are off.

“Your head hurts from eyestrain?”

Victor nods. Yuri looks around. There is no food in the fridge, dirty laundry is in a pile on the floor, and dirty dishes fill the sink. Yuri calls a restaurant for delivery, then puts on an apron and begins to clean. Everything is tidy by the time the food arrives. They sit down and eat.

“I’ve never had an editor clean my apartment before,” remarks Victor. Yuri says,

“I know you’re avoiding me. If you can’t write, tell me about it, don’t hide,” lectures Yuri.

“Are you upset I didn’t answer your calls? Or that I haven’t given you any work?” inquires Victor.

“Both.” Yuri takes a bite of food, then asks, “What’s the problem?”

Victor ponders for a while then replies,

“I can’t figure out whether to give my two characters a tragic end, or a more hopeful future.”

“What kind of tragic end?” asks Yuri, having a bad feeling.

“_Karoshi_, death by overwork.”

Yuri winces, Yuko is right. It’s a boyfriend problem, not an editorial one.

“Maybe twice a week, I could leave work on time and have dinner with you,” proposes Yuri, trying to placate him. Victor shakes his head.

“You won’t come,” accuses Victor.

“Oh. Sorry. At the end of the year, we have a rush to finish and publish for January – before the printers close for winter break. Your book is on the list, and your final chapter is later than expected. Our company has never put anything to press this fast. I’ve been working like mad to make it perfect! This is the most important novel of my career – the best creative venture I’ve ever been a part of! I want your book to be... beautiful, amazing, gorgeous... like you.” Yuri pulls out a book, a hands it to Victor.

“A proof. Literally.”

Victor winces at the double meaning. The cover features two boys from the back standing in a background of changing seasons: fall leaves, snow, cherry blossoms and a sunny beach.

“It’s beautiful,” Victor admits. Then he accepts, “Fine. Let’s try.” Victor hands Yuri a jump drive with the explanation, “I wrote both endings. You choose.”

“Can I look through them here?”

Victor nods, and lies down on the couch.

“I like it when you work near me.”

Yuri agrees,

“I like it when you’re writing nearby...”

Yuri opens his laptop at the table, and quickly reads through both endings. He makes some notes, and says,

“Victor? Would you go over my corrections?”

Victor gets up and reads through quickly, then asks coolly,

“So you want me to go back to Saint Petersburg?”

“What? No!!”

“You picked the tragic end.”

Yuri says hurriedly,

“Victor – I... I picked the sad end for your book, because that makes sense for the story. But that’s not what I want for our life. I just need time before the next step…”

Victor stops, and looks uncertain.

“What next step?”

“I can’t cut back much on my hours, but... if we lived together, at least I could work at home near you. Though my place is tiny, it might be easier for me to move in with you. If you’re staying in Tokyo,” explains Yuri, anxiously. Victor stands there, still emotional. Then he opens his arms. Yuri walks into the embrace. His voice is choked up when he says,

“I overreacted. Move in with me. Today. I need you.”

“Oh. Uh... can you wait til the 25th?” asks Yuri gingerly.

“Why?” Victor demands. Yuri explains reluctantly,

“I just don’t get much sleep when I stay over... you’re... irresistible...”

Victor replies sternly,

“No.”

“No?” echoes Yuri weakly.

“No. I promise to put you bed quickly, pleasure you and then sleep on the sofa, so as not to tempt you.”

Yuri turns pink, and babbles,

“I... I’m not that bad... I’ll bring my stuff over. I’ll keep my apartment though – I need to preserve appearances for the office.”

Victor grimaces at that. He rubs his head and tells him,

“Yuri... your boss knows you’re gay. He doesn’t like it, but he tolerates it.”

Yuri sits down in shock.

“Oh. But... oh. ” Yuri looks at Victor, and asks, “Did you tell him?”

“No. You did.”

“I did? When?” yelps Yuri, confused.

“The night we went drinking with Andrew Skryabin. You had a lot to drink. Suzuki made a rude remark about gay sex, then you announced that… um, you’re in favor of male anal intercourse. I’m roughly paraphrasing.”

“I said that!? Oh no.” Yuri holds his stomach. “I’m so embarrassed. Wait… did I say anything else?”

Victor tilts his head, and recalls,

“Actually, you mentioned several sexual acts that you wanted to try…”

Yuri waits, giving Victor a warning look. So Victor adds,

“You may have mentioned you wanted to do these activities with me… then you danced on the table.”

Yuri bends over and clutches his knees to his stomach.

“And I said this to Suzuki-san?” Yuri shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t return to the office ever again!”

Victor gives some time for the shock to wear off, then says seriously,

“I know this isn’t easy for you. And I don’t mind keeping a low profile. But I expect you to tell your parents and your friends that we’re together. And that includes that coworker of yours with a crush on you.”

“Kitamura-san? Are you sure? He... he will tell everyone.”

Victor shakes his head.

“He won’t. I’ll make sure he won’t,” Victor grumbles in a menacing tone. Then he sits on the sofa as well. “Welcome home.”

Yuri curls up next to Victor, leaning on Victor’s shoulder.

“It feels like home, with you. This apartment is great. I was rather jealous when you first moved in here.”

“Well, that’s why I chose it. This was the only apartment you responded positively to, all the others you seem to dislike, no matter how fancy.”

Yuri buries his forehead in Victor’s shoulder, groaning at the realization.

“Is that why we had to look at so many apartments? You’re so annoying!”

Victor smiles and kisses his cheek. Yuri pouts for a moment, then relents and kisses Victor back.

The next few weeks are a blur. Everyone at the office looks bleary and overworked. When Kitamura stops by, and Yuri peels himself from his desk and says blearily,

“Kitamura-san, you must be busy, you haven’t been bothering me.”

Kitamura shakes his head, and accuses him,

“You lied to me. You and the Russian are living together and you didn’t tell me.”

Yuri cringes and apologizes,

“I wasn’t trying to lead you on, I just wasn’t sure you could keep quiet.”

“Ouch. Katsuki-kun, I’m the same as you. I lie all the time to survive. But I thought we could at least be honest with each other,” laments Kitamura, turning away. Yuri rubs his head, feeling bad, and apologizes,

“You’re right, I will...”

Kitamura faces him and laughs.

“Gotcha! I’ve known all along. I’ve just been working like crazy. When it’s all done, we’re gonna get so drunk! You’re hilarious when you’re drunk.”

Yuri looks at him in shock, realizing Kitamura was there at his drunken mouthing off... He waves him off, disgusted.

For Yuri, living with Victor feels like a dream. Working on Victor’s book, then coming home to Victor’s, no, their apartment. He falls asleep on the couch, with his laptop open on top of him. Yuri feels the computer slowly slip off his lap, and startles awake, grabbing it. Then he sees Victor is holding the laptop. Victor whispers,

“Would you like attention before I put you to bed?”

Yuri feels his face burn. Victor keeps offering fellatio casually, like a glass of wine.

“Yes. No. I’m too tired. Would you... sleep next to me? I like you nearby.”

“Mmm. Is that all you want? What do you dream about?” asks Victor, giving Yuri a quick kiss.

“Editing another novel, from you. Time with you, a vacation at a hot spring...”

“You hate hot springs. Too many naked people,” counters Victor. Yuri protests,

“But it’s traditional! And... I was going to... introduce you to my parents...?”

Victor grins, suddenly understanding.

“You mean your family’s hot springs! Yes!”

Victor pulls Yuri to the bedroom, and removes his clothes.

“I’d introduce to my family, but my father isn’t talking to me... Wait, my Babuleshka! We’ll visit her as soon as we can,” decides Victor. “My grandmother is wonderful.”

Yuri collapses onto the bed, and Victor lays on top of him.

“Uh... what are you doing?” quizzes Yuri, as Victor happily snuggles on his chest. Victor responds

“I’m your blankie. Go to sleep.”

Yuri nods, then passes out.

On December 24th, Yuri is still working at the office. He squints as his computer, barely able to read the screen through his headache. There are dark rings around his eyes due to lack of sleep. He glances at his watch, and groans, it’s already 8 p.m. He was supposed to meet Victor an hour ago. He grabs a few more files, and hurries out the door. Once at the apartment, he opens the door apologizing,

“Sorry, I’m late, but I’ll have a few days off and I thought we could…”

Yuri rubs his eyes, examining the apartment. It looks like a red and white party store has exploded in the living room. Everything is covered in red and white streamers, red and white balloons, and there’s a giant strawberry shortcake on the table with two Santas holding hands. Finally, Yuri sees Victor, wearing a red satin suit, almost camouflaged in the decor.

“Oh... wow. You like Christmas. You really like Christmas...” says Yuri, not knowing what else to say.

“Back in high school, you arranged a Christmas dinner for us. I was so touched. I wanted to surprise you this time.”

Yuri smiles at the memory.

“All right. I’m surprised.”

Yuri can barely keep his eyes open, but he sits down, and takes a bite. Before he knows it, he has wolfed down the whole plate.

“That was delicious. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I can’t believe you’d want to celebrate Christmas eve, I thought you hated my special dinner back in high school.”

“I didn’t hate it. I was just disappointed. I thought you’d arranged a romantic evening for us, and when it turned out to be for Yuko – I was crushed.”

Yuri nods, suddenly understanding it from his perspective.

Since Victor cooked, Yuri rolls up his sleeves to wash the dishes. Victor comes up behind him, and ties an apron around his waist. Yuri stops for a moment, enjoying the tender moment. He feels a quick kiss on his neck, then Victor walks away, singing to the Christmas music.

Victor watches Yuri finish cleaning, then search the apartment. Yuri spins around, exclaiming,

“Where did I hide it? Somewhere you’d never look... maybe with the cleaning supplies?”

Victor grins in excitement, and asks,

“What are we looking for? A big box?”

“Small box, black, a few centimeters across...”

“A jewelry box? Ooooh...”

Victor taps his lips with his finger, then checks the pockets of Yuri’s coat.

“Aha! You were so tired, you forgot to hide it,” explains Victor, handing the box to Yuri. Yuri swallows, then says,

“It’s almost midnight. Here. It’s… It’s a birthday gift.”

Yuri hands the small box back to Victor. Victor places it in one hand, and flips it open. There are two gold rings inside, plain, but expensive looking. They resemble wedding bands. Victor stares at them, not really comprehending what he’s looking at.

“Mmmmm...”

“They’re omamori,” adds Yuri, sounding a bit panicked. Victor remembers the good luck charm wrapped in fancy fabric Yuri had given him years ago. Victor looks over at Yuri’s hand, and realizes Yuri is no longer wearing the cheap band from when they first met. Is Yuri proposing? Doesn’t sound like it. Plus, same-sex marriage isn’t legal in Japan. Yuri registers Victor’s look of shock, and babbles,

“_En-musubi omamori_. To tie the connection between people, sometimes people have matching omamori. Sometimes… you’re unsure of my commitment… You asked me what my dreams are... I don’t know what I want, except being with you. This is going way too fast for you, I can tell…” Yuri holds out an open palm. “I can return them. Just blame my gift idea on severe lack of sleep.”

Victor feels so many emotions, he doesn’t seem to be able to express any of them. He picks up the two rings, finds the bigger one, and slides it on Yuri’s ring finger. Again he tries to say something, but no words come out. He hands the other ring to Yuri. Yuri’s cheeks are pink, and his eyes are shining, his whole face is glowing. Yuri slowly pushes the other ring on Victor’s hand, and they sit there, watching each other.

“Poetic and romantic. I love it. I love you,” Victor manages to utter.

“Well, you guided me to true love. Remember the stone?”

“Yes. I thought I was destined to guide you to Yuko. Then to Josh,” says Victor taking a shaky breath.

“No. It’s you. Always been you.”


	15. Epilogue

A few months later, Yuri pokes his head from behind a bookcase at Tokyo’s premier bookstore. He observes the long line of women waiting for Victor to sign copies of his new book. One lady is buying 5 books in order to spend more time with Victor. None of the women seem deterred by the ring on Victor’s finger. Yuri suddenly hears behind him,

“Why are you hiding over here? I thought you and Victor were an item.”

“Josh! Oh, uh... We are. But I don’t like to distract him when he’s working.”

Josh shakes his head, and corrects him,

“You mean you’re afraid he’s going to touch you in public. You’re very touchy about the subject. Or not touchy, I guess.”

Yuri turns pink and nods, acknowledging the point. Then he asks,

“How did you know that we’re together?” Then he asks in a panicked tone, “Are you and Victor still talking?”

Josh shakes his head.

“No. I hear about you from Yoshi-chan.”

“Yoshi-san? Who’s that?”

“Kitamura Tsuyoshi, your coworker.”

Yuri gapes. Wow, he can’t imagine those two together. He responds,

“Oh... Oh. Are you two... dating?”

“Yep!”

“I didn’t think he’d be your type.”

“I adore him! He’s quiet, and thoughtful, and always arrives early for our dates… he’s sweet.”

Thoughtful and quiet? Doesn’t sound like Kitamura. Yuri says encouragingly,

“Good for you. Although, at work, Kitamura-san is more… boisterous.”

Josh shrugs, then asks,

“I’m glad you’re with Victor, but I found it hard to get over you.”

“Really? I’m sorry.” Yuri hesitates, then takes Josh’s hand, and says earnestly, “You were always kind to me.” Yuri sighs. “But I’ve loved Victor since I was teenager.”

Josh squeezes Yuri’s hand.

“Thanks. Thanks for saying that, and... touching me in public. Do it with your boyfriend sometime.”

Josh gives Yuri a tap on the shoulder, turns, and leaves.

Yuri smiles, happy as to how things have turned out for Josh. His phone chimes, and he gapes a the incoming message. He looks back towards the book signing table, and sees that Victor is gone. He searches the store, then eventually finds Victor outside, standing near the front entrance.

“Victor, you won the Bookser Prize! Congratulations!”

“Oh. I’ve won that before,” Victor replies coolly, not looking at Yuri.

“Why are you upset?”

“You held Josh’s hand… in front of bookstore patrons!”

Yuri quickly explains,

“I was saying goodbye to Josh. There’s no need to be jealous.”

Victor shrugs, and complains,

“You’ve never touched my hand in public.”

Yuri blinks, realizing he needs to act fast. Yuri takes Victor’s hand, and pulls him toward the nearest wall.

“I don’t touch you in public, because I’d want to do this …”

Then he pulls Victor’s chin down towards him, and kisses Victor, as passionately as he can. Then he whispers,

“Are… Are people staring at us?”

“Yes.”

Yuri hides his head in his hands, and Victor pulls him back inside the bookstore, behind some shelves.

“Yuri...” begins Victor, caressing Yuri’s cheek tenderly. “Thank you for the public kiss. You know… I became a writer because of you. You’re the reason I won that Bookser Prize.”

“Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty,” jests Yuri. Victor laughs, and requests,

“Me too. Say the thing.”

Yuri turns pink and whispers in Russian,

“_You’re my favorite novelist of all time, and... I want to be on top,_” then kisses him. Victor melts into Yuri’s body and whispers back,

“Oooh, I love you...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi, and Junjo Romantica: Pure Romance by Shungiku Nakamura and every high school anime I’ve ever watched. I’m not into the lack of consent in many yaoi anime, and wanted to create something sweeter. Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm interested in how my writing made you feel or think, if you'd like to give me feedback!


End file.
